What is Love?
Love is not what you think it is. That's why so many marriages end in divorce. People get a hormonal rush when they're around a person and think they're in love, and believe that person is "the one."
Not even close. True love creeps up on you over a long period of time. It's NOT that powerful feeling of "I must have this person." Instead, it's a slow build-up. When you truly love someone you don't have to ask yourself if it's love. You're not even ASKING yourself. After having this person in your life for quite some time, one day you wake up and automatically know. It's not an emotional rush of feeling type of love, the kind that makes you breathless when you're around them or thinking about them. That's lust. True love is a deep, calm knowing. You can distinguish it because love feels secure, while lust feels emotional.
If you're thinking about eventually getting married, remember one thing: Marriage should not be the sequel to sex. It should be the sequel to friendship. Lots of people make big mistakes when getting married because they think they're in love and that they're supposed to marry the person who excites them and has good sexual chemistry. But after those feelings subside they end up with resentment, disgust and anger for that person. They were never really in love. Many times we are already married to this person and feeling trapped and very unhappy. It's scary to wake up one day and realize you're in a relationship with someone who you can't depend on to be by your side forever. The best way to make sure the love lasts is to make sure it's love to begin with.
Have fun with the excited feelings you experience when you're exploring passionate relationships with the opposite sex. But while you're in those relationships, pay attention to the other people in your life that you care for, but aren't "in love with." Believe it or not, THOSE are the people you most likely could eventually truly love. Here's a test to help you figure out what true love really is.
A friend emailed this to me a few years ago when I was dating a woman who was very wrong for me. I saved the list because I wanted to remember it. It's probably the best advice I ever got. I like this test a lot because it is a total eye opener. It's designed for men but it's good for women to see what should matter to a man. It shows you who in your life really loves you and who you probably love without realizing it. It's also cool to think you probably already know the woman you're going to end up marrying.
This test helps a man determine what really matters in a woman, and which one in his life is most likely to be "THE ONE".
The Marriage Counselor's Marriage Test
Think of all the women currently in your life. Think of the women you are dating and have dated. Think of the women you have been in relationships with who are still single and available to you. Think of the women you talk to at the grocery store, the cleaners, on the golf course, or in the park. Think of the women you work with. Think of your close female friends and the women you confide in. If you're a single man and want to marry, statistically it is likely you will eventually marry one of these women. To begin the test, write down the names of at least five of these women. Be sure to include the ones you have the most contact with.
Ask yourself:
If you were in a coma, who is the one most likely to be at your bedside after the others had gone on with their lives?
If you were paralyzed and couldn't work, do any chores around the house, go out anywhere, or have sex, which one would be the most likely to still love you and stay with you?
If you were going through a difficult time at work and had negative emotions and moodiness, which one would most likely allow you plenty of space and understanding without selfishness or nagging?
If you were to lose your car, your home, and your savings which one would be most willing to stay with you and help you build your life again?
If you were sterile and couldn't have children, which one would be least likely to bring up the subject again or make you to feel guilty?
If your parents became disabled and needed to live with you, who do you think would be most likely to accept them into your home and treat them with care and dignity?
If your parents became disabled and needed to live with you, who do you think they would most enjoy spending time with?
If you had children with one of the women you know, and eventually became divorced, which one would you trust the most to raise your children right?
If you could only have one woman to take to every sporting event, every outing, and every event for the rest of your life which one would you have the most fun with?
If you had children with one of the women you know, which one would your children be least likely to wonder why you married her?
Who makes you laugh hardest?
Who do you talk with the most?
Who do you email the most?
Which one is the most interested in the same things you love, the same places you like to go, the same activities you like to do?
When you're experiencing something new or interesting, who is the first one to come into your mind that you wish you could share it with?
At the end of a hard day at work, who would you rather unload your day's frustrations on, knowing she'll listen and care?
When you learn something new, make a big discovery, or accomplish something exciting, who is the first person you think of telling?
If you were stranded on a deserted island for one year, which one would make your days pass more quickly because you were getting lost in each other's company?
If you were stranded on a deserted island for one year, which one would you like to have lying next to you looking up at the stars?
If you were stranded on a deserted island for one year, which one would be most likely to stay cheerful, adapt to the situation, and contribute to your survival?
When you go to bed at night, who is the last female friend you typically find yourself calling?
If you committed a felony crime, who would you be most likely to admit it to?
If each of the women you know were being mistreated by another man, which one would you feel most protective of?
Which one would be most likely to discourage you from spending too much on her, and would want you to save your money?
Which one would be most likely to accept that you couldn't afford the car she wanted, the house she wanted, the vacation she wanted, or the luxuries she wanted?
Which one is most likely to accept your flaws and not let you worry about them?
If you had Alzheimer's disease and couldn't communicate your needs anymore, which one would be most likely to bring you the new CD of your favorite music artist or new movies she knows you would enjoy?
If you were blind, who would you trust the most to take care of you, make sure you had everything you want and need, and never let you feel helpless?
If you were blind, whose voice would be most pleasing to hear?
If you became impotent, which one would be the least likely to betray you in spite of her own physical desires?
If you became impotent, which one would it sadden you most to know is no longer able to have a physical relationship?
If you had a child from a previous marriage, which one would be the most likely to be loving, attentive, and accepting of your child as her own?
Which woman would be least likely to criticize and try to change your hair, clothes, car, house, pets, or friends.
If you were forced to cheat on every woman you know, except you could spare one woman from that pain, which one could you not allow yourself to hurt in this way?
If you were on a roller coaster right now, who is the first person coming to mind that you would want to experience it with you?
Which one is the most likely to be concerned about your well-being and tell you when you're doing something that could hurt you?
Which one would your family most likely say is the perfect woman for you?
If you were to die tomorrow, which one would be most likely to take care of your pets?
If you were to die tomorrow, which one would be most likely to cry the hardest over missing you?
If you were to die tomorrow, which one would you most trust as a speaker at your wake to best communicate to everyone your unique qualities and accomplishments, and the value of your life?
Which one would be most likely to visit your grave on your birthday every year and leave something she thought you would like or that she thought would make you laugh?
Which one do you wish you could hear what she was saying at your grave so you could know how she really felt about you?
2006-09-11 04:08:12
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answer #1
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answered by razorxranger 2
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:)) The "love" you describe is basically "romance" straightforward once you're courting, minimum familiar jobs, no little ones, both have time, both attempting to seduce the different. you may shop that in marriage. it truly is basically maximum persons do not understand they basically needed romance, no longer the reality of a kin and marriage. the marriage surely will develop into harder even as each body is anticipating the "romance" to shop itself up. The lust is in the event you want neither dedication nor want romance. they basically favor to sleep with it on their words and time table. even as they bore of it or if it starts feeling too very like a "relationship" or difficulty they're going to be out of there.
2016-11-25 23:44:38
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answer #2
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answered by ? 4
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