I know it is for the best because he was mentally and physically abusive towards me. I was not the best wife eigther. I said a lot off mean stuff too. I am so sad because before we were married we were friends for 17 years. He lives with me for the time. How long will I hurt for? Anyone out there who has had a similar experience?
2006-09-10 06:15:53 · 12 answers · asked by Marie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's going to hurt a lot longer than you think it should, or that you wish it would.....but, it does get better. Time is the Great Healer of broken dreams , and broken hearts. Sorry you're having to go through this, but if there is no other way, then it's the only course of action to take. Best of Luck to you.
2006-09-10 06:20:30 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can not be of much help right now becasue I am starting a battle with my boyfriend aswell. We are fighting permanently meaning always in a fight for the last month. But it is true someone else between us would get to go to hell. However I must say that men are usally mentally abusing us women. We either try to teach them (almost impossible) or we play the deff, dumb and blind so it does not become a bigger argument that can become a physicall abuse. Lots of women that are happier than we are in their marriage are those that play dumb. When the man is stupid you let him be alone.
If you do divorce him, let me tell you a part of you will always hurt casue it is a failure. You will always wonder why but it will only hurt intesely for a couple of months then, you learn to be on your own for a while and a big chance you find someone better for you is always out there.
Wish you good luck I hope if you all stay that it is for the better and that he learns to make you happy if not, get busy and move on.
2006-09-10 07:02:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first thing, you can not keep having him live with you or you will not be able to move forward and get better! Tell him to move out now. It sounds like it is for the best and you really need to get some counselling for yourself to help sort out your feelings and make positive changes in your life. When we are with someone who brings out the worst in us, that is not where we should be. Find someone new (after you are better and have had some counselling so that you don't go and pick a guy just like him again) and move forward into a more loving and rewarding relationship.
2006-09-10 06:20:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pain will last for however long u feel the pain of knowing u have a failing marriage, and..as long as u feel guilty for it. Unfortunately some people are better off as friends then couples.. and unfortunately you and your husband have a very unhealthy , distructive, disfunctional relationship.. and although u realize this..it doesnt mean u dont care for him.. i was in a very bad mental and physically abusive relationship.. and i care about him.. but i knew that it wasnt a healthy environment and i had to love myself enough to get myself out of that relationship..
2006-09-10 06:22:29 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried counseling? my husband and I have been together for 26 years we were married at 18 and 21 and it has been a rough road although he was never physically abusive, we both have said some really ugly things to each other but we did get some counseling and it helped.and we did separate for a short time and I was very lonely and so was he so we decided to make it work and we are still together and it is better than ever. good luck and remember to take one day at a time
2006-09-10 06:21:47 · answer #5 · answered by vesta k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is completely understandable, and you can't be around him to heal, it may hurt, but he needs to leave, otherwise you will hold on to false hope. Hate to say it, but this pain will never end, it eventually just builds a kind of block, for a very long time it will hurt to think of him, do not submerge yourself from new people, maybe you won't want to date yet, but talk and make a foundation with new guys, You will always compare these guys to him, so get used to it, but after awhile it will get easier. Don't be afraid to cry. Cry with a friend, or if you are close, even your mother, if she is still alive. Do not dwindle on your guys' past, just "think happy thoughts." how cheesy, eh? For awhile, try not to go where you guys spent a lot of time, and it is okay to be afraid. No matter how much you want to, DO NOT get close to him at all, I'm talking don't hug him, try to just hang out with other people.
-whit
2006-09-10 06:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by thisxlifexisntxrealx2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually yes.....my wife and I have realized that after 12 years, all we became was best friends through this all. We fell out of love, cause she done alot to me both mentally, and verbally, and also slipped out of our marriage a time or two, so..it's hard living together, but I don't have anywhere to go right now. We get along, but that's cause she works alot, and I stay home with the kids. Anyway, maybe we can talk sometime.......I'm sorry your having these troubles, we're good people who just don't deserve this. heymrdj1@yahoo.com if you wanna have someone to talk to.
2006-09-10 06:21:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow im so sorry approximately your son in the beginning, i will relate partly on your tale, my first husband and that i've got a son thats chronically/terminally ill.. we went via hell and back the 1st twelve months , in and out of hospitals.. the docs got here to us contained in the start and mentioned this would the two make or smash your marriage.. and that they've been precise after issues settled down along with his ailment for somewhat.. my husband couldnt shelter having a son that variety into ill, it screwed up his photograph appropriate kinfolk.. and he grew to become extremely distant to the factor that he cheated on me to boot then left.... i think of that alot of guys cant shelter those situations .. and tend to run faraway from the project particularly of taking it on .. I dont think of its you, i think of its him no longer being waiting to shelter the shortcoming of your new child and for some reason he cant attain out to you , perhaps he doesnt choose to injury u via bringing it up , i dont be attentive to, yet he's turning to those different women human beings as an outlet from his harboring discomfort.. identity get him into counseling to make certain whats extremely happening with him.. sturdy success.. and be sturdy..and that i completely agree living seperate lives under the comparable roof is a terrible theory and what variety of place fashions would that be on your new child to observe.. sturdy success..
2016-09-30 13:18:41 · answer #8 · answered by alia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never be finished with this guy, nor he you. Face it, you two are in love in the only way you know how to be. I'll bet if someone steped in between you two right now they'd get the hell beat out of them.
2006-09-10 06:18:35 · answer #9 · answered by InternetPosterChild 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AS LONG AS YOU WANT TO DWELL ON IT, DO NOT THINK OF THE FEW GOOD TIMES, THINK ABOUT ALL THE BAD TIMES, IT WILL MAKE YOU REMEMBER WHY THIS HAD TO END, YOU MAYBE LUCKY TO HAVE SURVIVED , IF THE ABUSE WENT ON AND GOT WORSE, YOU MAY NOT HAVE LIVED THROUGH IT...THINK ABOUT A NEW YOU, A NEW BEGINNING
2006-09-10 06:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by 65MPH-HA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋