Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years, we have been living together for 1. I want him to propose, but he says he will do it his way. I am always crying and scared he will find someone else and that he must have doubts over me since he does not want to propose now. He is also a pilot which makes it hard. He is always telling me he is on my side and not against me when I cry, but our relationship started out in a sticky situation making me scared he would cheat on me. I do love him but I have gotten to the point I am so angry because Im so scared that I have major mood swings, to the point that I've been destructive. I cry, I have low self esteem, I am reserved and quite at work when I use to be an outgoing person. I don't think it is all him, I think because of the situation we came from that I am mentally and emotional damaged now. Should I seek professional help?
2006-09-10 05:29:30 · 15 answers · asked by wondering 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, do. Start with your doctor and see what he recommends. good luck.
2006-09-10 05:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by dodgecitykitty1966 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation, and sought help too late. I had let him/the situation destroy my self-confidence and image, and became a totally different person. Many friendships were damaged b/c of my depression....it's true that through the halls of sorrow, you must walk alone. It sounds like he is completely aware of the situation, and surely sees what this is doing to you. Even if he loves you, marriage would not be the solution. The relationship is damaged b/c it has taken so long. I would talk to a therapist. He/She will help you understand that you are a complete person with or without him, and help you build back your self image. Only then can you be in a completely mutual relationship. He's had the "upper hand" too long, if you're just waiting for the ring. Trust me -been there. Get help!
2006-09-10 12:37:06 · answer #2 · answered by justme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he was in a relationship when he "cheated" with you. If this is the case, after being in a relationship for 5 years and he has given no hint of wanting to be married, he probably doesn't. On one hand it is sad that this happend to you, but on the other hand, you should be greatful that he won't marry you because he might do the cheating thing then, and it feels a lot worse to be cheated on from a husband rather than a boyfriend. Good luck.
2006-09-10 12:33:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should seek help. If you are not comfortable with yourself, how is your boyfriend going to be comfortable with you? Sometimes when we want something so much we tend to make that person or thing fit our needs. If he hasn't proposed yet he may be thinking of your relationship differently than you do. Just think if you did marry him, could you enjoy life always being insucure and wondering if he is cheating on you. Just take a step back and chill, enjoy life. If he is truley meant to be with you he will be there, if not, there may be better things in your future! GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-10 12:38:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like you have some serious insecurity issues. You should seek couseling. This past you talk about must have been pretty disturbing. A good couselor can help you sort those things out and figure out what's causeing these security issues.
Definitly seek help. Aslo, be honest with you mate. If he loves and respects you he'll stand by you no matter what. Don't be needy. You need to gain some confidence in yourself and stand on your own two feet.
Best of luck!!
2006-09-10 12:52:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes- it is time. Whenever you find yourself in a situation that leaves you feeling completely overwhelmed and unable to cope, then it is a good idea to seek some outside guidance. You are not crazy, but you do need someone to help you sort through all of these emotions. Good luck to you. It can get better and you can learn to calm your fears.
2006-09-10 12:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional who can help you sort through some of these issues. I believe marriage is a sacred bond between two people, but it in itself will not force or guarantee someone to stay faithful to you. I agree with your boyfriend that he should propose to you in his own way. Do you want a proposal that was forced or do you want a meaningful memory that you can share with your kids and grandchildren.
2006-09-10 12:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by Betty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i thing that everything takes time and that u can't rush things. something like proposeing to some1 is really hard and that dose not come natural he propably needs some more time and if u love him and he love u well u guys should wait until the time is right because rushing things is not a good thing it's better if u just enjoy what u have right now rather than rushing into something that ur really clueless about.
2006-09-10 12:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by clueless 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shouldn't we all? lol
The original sticky situation should be forgotten, (unless it's ongoing). If it's ongoing, you will need help if he's not able to make it OK for you anyway (b4 you marry). Once you are emotionally healthy and happy again, this might fix itself.
Tell yourself every day that you are a strong and amazing woman. Wise man once say, "As a man thinks, so is he!" =)
2006-09-10 12:50:16 · answer #9 · answered by ~blessss♫☼ ♪♥ ☼ ♠♫ ♣☺☻ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you force him to propose it wont happen, you also want to marry someone you barely trust, its WAY to soon to think about marriage!!!
2006-09-10 12:37:21 · answer #10 · answered by Tabbitatt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋