Is This Man an A** or am I being to critical?

Question

I've been married 30 years and this man hides his money from me hides the beer until he wants it ans doesn't tell me how much money he has until were broke. He offers his friends beer but acts like Im staeling from him if I ask for any.Granted I don't work but I did do my job somebody had to work and somebody had to raise the kids. I am retired with no pension is how I look at it. The kids are raised and on their own with places of their own and good jobs shouuld I stay or should I go? He treats his friends and complet strangers better then he does his own wife: what would you folks do.Keep in mind I have absolutely no education except up to 10th grade. Thank you in advance

Answer 1

Go-there is no way a husband should hide money from his wife or treat his wife the way that you have been treated. You are supposed to be best friends-not him ruling over you. Tell him how you are feeling and if he dismisses you and your feelings pack your stuff and go.

Answer 2

He is being an A$$, As bad as things are now I would work on getting my GED, then maybe see if you can find a job, so you can have your money..which he can't have.

I would sit and talk to him. Find out why he is being the way he is, and tell him that you are not happy with the way he is treating you.
If things don't change then I would leave. 30 years is a long time...so give him a chance to see if he changes....and tell him if he doesn't you are going to leave. But don't let him do what most guys do and that's change for a week or so and then go back. But give him a chance to treat you right and if he can't do that then I would leave quick fast and in a hurry.

He shouldn't treat his friends or anyone else better then you. He shouldn't hide anything from you, beer, money nothing. I hope things work out for you and good luck.

Answer 3

No husband should treat his wife like that. You should be number one on his list, the priority of his friends and even strangers. If he is hiding money (and beer), there may be something bigger going on. You should try to talk to him, not fight. Don't yell or anything, just talk. Tell him how you feel, how he makes you feel. If he doesn't show any concern or care how you feel, than his priorities are obviously not on you. You should leave. There are lots of jobs out there for people with no college education. Good jobs. Go back to college. There are programs out there that can help with finances. . .grants, loans, etc. Try a business college or trade school. You don't need to go to a big university. You should not let him treat you this way. You deserve way better.

Just because you didn't work doesn't make you any less valuable. Staying home and raising kids is a lot bigger job than most any man will do. You should never feel ashamed for staying home with your kids. But now that the kids are raised, do something for yourself. You need to take care of yourself!!!

Good luck, I wish you the best!!

Answer 4

After 10 years of marriage you are legally entitled to 1/2 of all. Most states are community property states and you will even be entitled to 1/2 of the house even if ur name isn't on the deed. It's a little late in the marriage to be stunned by his behavior. This was one you should have nipped in the bud but since you haven't then ur only choice is to stick with it or leave him. In the meanwhile don't let ur education level stop you. You can still get a GED if only just for yourself. Not finishing school is usually indictive of your circumstances at the time and doesn't mean that you are stupid and can't learn. Times were different then and that happened with a lot more frequency than nowadays. I bet you made sure your kids finished school. Do you sign the tax forms during tax season? Well, if you do that is because the government recognizes an at home mom as someone who does a job that contributes to the household income. Could he have afforded to pay for a chaffeur,cook,home decorator, child care provider, professional dry cleaners, nutritionist, lover etc...
You contribute believe me and if he acts ugly when you ask for money then tuff sh*t for him let him deal with that. When he is really old and sickly who does he think will be there to take care of him? If he doesn't shape up let him know now that it will not be YOU.

Answer 5

Isn't it sad that you can do so much and end up unappreciated and treated like an employee?

Yes, he is an xxx. No question about it. But I don't think he is going to change. So maybe you might want too. You may not have a formal educatoin but you seem bright enough to use a computer and to communicate.

Try talking with him. If that doesn't work, you may want to leave. He might just need a reality check. Chances are that he could figure it out...but at this point, he is acting like he doesn't care.

You deserve a good life. He owes you half of everything he has. Half...and that is enough to make it until you can get a bit more education and work on your own. It is so sad that people get so selfish, but it is likely that he has been this way to you for a long time and you are just notcing now. Is it just beer that he is selfish about? Just wondering?

Look out for you. No one else is going too. Talk to your children as you make your decisions. Maybe, if you are lucky, he will wise up. He just doesn't know how good he has had it.

Answer 6

Give yourself some credit here...you are a strong gal who knows which end is up. It sounds as if you are totally over this guy, so perhaps it is lesson time at the ranch. Call a lawyer, start divorce proceedings ASAP. Sue for Alimony, the house, the car, and 1/2 the assests. You need no reason to get a divorce, and almost all states are a 50/50 split now. Take your half and kick his butt out. YOU will be eligible for alimony for up to one year while you find a job and begin to earn a living. Go for it...let's see how much beer he will be able to afford to buy for those cronies when you are finished with him. Don't be a fool..no one should be walked on.

Answer 7

After 30 years of marriage you suddenly wake up to the fact that the man is an as*shole with money and his affection? Come on, woman! You knew this all along! If you're looking for an excuse to leave, do it ! However, how about a "game plan". Go to school and get your GED first. It takes about 6-8 weeks to finish. Then go to a technical college and take a course for 1 year...for instance "Practical nursing", computer tech, adm. assistant; see a counselor for grant information....and learn to support yourself. Also open a bank account and get yourself a part-time job and sock away your bucks there. If you can sneak anything from the old man, do that too and make yourself a nest egg. I'll bet when you get busy doing things to improve yourself, he'll get interested in keeping you around. Get up off of your butt and do something for yourself like a big girl. I guarantee it will make you feel better and you will have a choice about leaving the cheap pri*ck. He's never going to change, honey. Why waste your time trying to make him change? Spend your time on YOURSELF! (Oh...you can always apply for some credit cards in his name or sell his "hog" and go have some fun!) lol. Godloveya!

Answer 8

Wow, I wouldn't advise you to leave unless you are not happy and don't love him. However you do need to do some things for you, its never to late to go back to school you know..........................almost every community college offers courses in continuing education, and there is financial aid and student loans the will pay for it. So first things first, complete your education and then maybe find a job, outside of the home. Ergo, you have your own money and a sense of being independent. Could be that this man, thinks of you as one of his kids a "dependent." You need to now stand on your own two feet.
Age is not an excuse.

Answer 9

Well by leaving your not going to hurt any one because the kids are all gone and it dosen't sound like your anything to him but a maid. I would get the heck out of there and go do what you want with your life for a change. Maybe go visit your kids or go get a job. You can always find work and maybe get some training and leave that bum to his friends and beer lol

Answer 10

He is an ***.. like you said.. and just because you don't have an education passed the 10th grade doesn't mean anything take some courses. to improve yourself . they have jobs out there all you have to do is want to work.. try doing some cleaning of houses or something like that they have lots of companys out there that do that and always needing help. and they do pay pretty good like up to $8.50 to $9.00 to start.. just check around . start doing for you and when you can afford to get out.. do it and let him file for he divorce. let the cost fall on him.
that way you can live on your own and take care of yourself with out having to deal with all of his crap..
I did this for extra money. i to didn't work for a long time.. so take the steps to be self sufficient and leave his sorry butt. you will love your life after that.