anyone know any really sick and disgusting jokes?

Question

please tell me. my material is getting old and i would like some new jokes. the sicker and more disgusting the better.

Answer 1

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."

As an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing", he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and Sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them -

"The second most important quality is "Observation'". "I stuck my middle finger in, and sucked on my index finger." "Now learn to pay attention."

Answer 2

~~~~~~~~~~Farmer John Shagging His Pigs~~~~~~~~~~~

A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered "okay" and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet meant by artificial insemination, the farmer decided it must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he loaded all the pigs in his pickup and drove down to the woods and shagged them all.

The next day he called the vet again, and asked how would he know if the pigs were pregnant. The vet told him they would be lying down rolling in the mud, but when he looked out the window not even one was lying down. So, he loaded them up in his pickup again and drove them to the woods and shagged them all again.

To his dismay they were all standing the next morning. So, again he loads the pigs in his truck, drives them to the woods and shags them for the third time.

By the next morning the farmer is beat, so he asks his wife to hop out of bed and look out the window to see what the pigs are doing. She says "hmmm - that's weird, they are all in the truck and one of them is blowing the horn".

Answer 3

Kid knocks on the door of his neighbor. The mother answers: "yes?"..."Hi...can little Johnny come out to play?" Mother answers: "now you know little Johnny is paralized and can't walk or talk!" Kid: "yeah, well, me and guys wanted to use him for third base".

OLD JOKE....but sick

Answer 4

no. i live in a very sheltered environment. that and i can't ever remember them.

Answer 5

i'll just give ya the punchline..."how do think i feel?...i have to walk outta here alone!"