...the spouses are expected to eventually fall in love during their time together
Do you think it is possible to grow to love someone like this? Because there are many arranged marriages that last aaaaaaages - there must be some love there....
2006-09-10 03:31:52 · 14 answers · asked by Miss Terious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it depends on the people involved. Some will and some won't. In my opinion it's easier just to avoid arranged marriages all together. Or allow divorce if nothing has happened after so long if they have to.
2006-09-10 03:34:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Research and time have shown that arranged marriages work. Why? Because the goals are agreed to in advance. That doesn't mean that they are always happy marriages. It means that the committment is there to make it work. See the difference?
Most people think that marriage is just a romantic thing people do when they are in love. Americans do. Other countries and those that participate in arranged marriages, know that marriage is a partnership to create a future family. Good, bad and ugly. The nice part about it is that these cultures do not advocate the kind of things that destroy marriages.
I think over time if you respect someone you will grow to love them. That is how it is with everything else. You treat someone badly and there is less love, well and the love grows.
Although I am American, and have not had an arranged marriage, I am very familiar with the concept. And it works. Not that it feels good if you like the idea of picking your own spouse.
On the other side, there is that chance that you could get a real lemon.Don't know if love would grow in that situation. Best case scenario is that duty and obligation along with distraction will grow. Either way, arranged probably will work...with the degree of love you have very dependent on you and the other person.
2006-09-10 11:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These days arranged marriages aren't like the in the past. You can take some time, see if there is a mutual attraction and get to know them enough to like them if there is...if you don't, then don't get married. I would never force it on anyone-thats cruel! You and only you should be the one to decide if you wana get married or not.
And about falling in love...I think every relationship-marriage or not,go thru different stages of being in love. You need to be sure you can be happy with the person before you get married. And its more about staying in love, than falling in love.
You can fall in love and stay happily in love for a long long long time :)
2006-09-11 04:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by gorgeeous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have an attraction to the person. If you think the person is ugly, how can you fall in love? If there is some attraction, you could probably fall in love if you are the type of person that observes the things they do and you focus on their good points.
I personally would not like to be in an arranged marriage, I feel that only I can decide who is best for me.
2006-09-10 17:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either that or the just learn to tolerate each other. It is the custom of some countries and that is what the women are supposed to do so that is probably why they last. What are the chances for a woman if she does not make the marriage last? Will she be able to get another man?
2006-09-10 10:38:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of them are based on peer pressure. I have seen alot of people run from their families because their parents wanted them to marry this certain person to save face for their self. I doubt they truely do fall in love eventually. Maybe one of them usually the male liked her in the first place but usually the female is the one that is left feeling lonely and controlled. I would never push a fixed marriage on any one.
2006-09-10 10:35:35 · answer #6 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think some matches are made correctly and if this is a case the 2 people may fall in love however many couples saty together for years thinking teher in love becuase they know no different if tehy went out and found real love they'd realise! thsi applys to arranged and non-arranged marriages.
2006-09-10 12:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by kel87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love comes later in arrange marriages. Or some it does not work.
2006-09-10 11:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by leyte6519 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... probably
love can be learned, but it's hard to do.
may I point out the societal implications of breaking up with somebody in that kind of a relationship?
having studdied this subject at some length...
well... look at the role of arrainged marriage in various societies.
you'll have to make your own conclusions.
2006-09-10 10:35:11 · answer #9 · answered by The greatest and the best. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love no ... a mutual respect yes ... back in the day or in different cultures marriages last because divorce was just not an option and/or was deeply frowned upon.
2006-09-10 10:36:01 · answer #10 · answered by emnari 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋