Have you ever feared to open up? When and why?

Question

At times I do NOT feel like opening up to others, though I'm pretty much like an open book. When I do not wish to open up, I crack jokes or play funny. That's also the way my older brother chooses to "shut" people out from his mentality or heart. I guess for me it's because I just don't wish to talk or try to hide my true feelings from others. People gossip, and that's another reason for me to not open up. When I'm tired, I don't want to open up either. I'm like this with my parents as well. What about you people? If you ever feel afraid to open up, when do you feel it and why? I'd like to know why people do not open up some times. Your sharing is greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

I too am an open book. My problem is the opposite, I tend to open up too much. It is so rare that I do not share a feeling, emotion or opinion. Even if I have a situation that I do not want to tell anyone about, I hold it in for as long as I can but eventually do tell someone. Gossip does not intimidate me bc I don't act in ways that I fear people will talk about.

People who don't open up may have a few reasons. They may know the solution to their problems but hearing the truth is difficult for them to face. They may not talk about a situation because they are ashamed of their actions and are afraid people will judge them.

There is an endless amount of possibilities. I believe that in order to get the most honest answer, being open and honest is the best thing to do. People who are not able to handle their mistakes or are ashamed of their actions are those who are cheating themselves.

I am explaining things that have happened to people close to me, I hope that my response makes sense.

Answer 2

Yes. I really cannot make myself open up to others if I must talk about something that I would be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Luckily not a lot of things have the effect of making me ashamed anymore. The only thing that would really make me so ashamed I couldn't talk about it would be some bad, wrong, sinful action I did (or if I let something happen that shouldn't happen). I also don't open up much when I'm exhausted, but I will the next day.

But if something upsets me out in the environment, I will yell and vent loudly. For the most part, I am an open book. Of course, being an introvert, only my mother really knows me, but that's another story.

If people don't care, I won't open up to them. But I don't have to hold my thoughts forever. I still can vent when I get home, and I can still get my mother for support if necessary. But I don't have this problem too much, as I have my own group of friends at school. I don't really hang out much outside the group.

Answer 3

I have various reasons for not opening up.

1. If the person says something that makes me think they would not care much for me after knowing me better, then I don't open up, I just say general things and stay polite.

2. I don't like malicious gossip.

3. If I'm tired, it takes me longer to say things. (Slow thinker.) So I say hardly anything.

4. If I really want to open up and be closer to someone, but am unsure they will want to be that close afterwards. (Fear of rejection.)

5. If they meet my family or see where I grew up or something and then they treat me differently than before, in a bad way. I don't open up anymore.

I guess that's all too sensitive, but it's how I feel right now, where I'm stuck at. I like close friends, but can't seem to have these. Most people only want lightness and bright bubbly me anyway. I lose friends the better they know me, unless there is something seriously wrong with the other person like depression or illness.

My own problem is being a slow thinker who's too sensitive, so that draws a lot of people who also make me afraid to open up--the crazy or dark/twisted kind who are looking for someone to be submissive to them and feel sorry for them all day long while making me feel bad about myself for being dumb or whatever inadequate things I can be at times.

Or so it seems.

Answer 4

Hi. Your question makes me think of so many things. I am a very introverted girl. But I am very wise too. Think about this, it is not always bad to have a calm space around yourself and some time to be left alone to think. Every person needs that, so the real issue is balance. The question before you is how to achieve a good balance between engaging other people, and getting away from them. Both are equally valid. You are feeling messed up because you are out of balance. Give some serious thought to what would work for you and how. Look at your living space. Your daily schedule. Divide your day up and give yourself a little time for both. That may really help you. It did for me.

Answer 5

Yes, because I feared that someone would use the information I told them against me somehow. I've also felt uneasy about opening up sometimes because I feared that once the person knew "something" about me...they wouldn't like me anymore...or would have negative thoughts about me.

There are many many other reasons people don't open up to other people. Lack of trust in that person is probably the main reason. Just think of your personal feelings as your credit card. How many people do you actually trust your credit card with?

Answer 6

I open up with people as much as I trust them, in most cases I do not open up with most people but will be honest with them about myself. I have had alot of really crappy things happen to me over the course of the 24 years I have been on this planet, and most of them I can't even remember and others I just choose to keep bottled up because I find it hard to talk about these things no matter how painful they are.

Answer 7

I don't open up when i am around a bunch of diffrent people. I make it known that i don't want to talk to so they can't have different judgements aout me. when i do that i feel like i have already made peoples judgements for them. If peole are willing to go that extra mile and have genuine conversation and interest then i will kind of start opening up.

Answer 8

i do same thing as you do..so i'd say its normal