is there a point to marriage?

Question

considering most people divorce, is there a point? if you decide it's over.......what is the last straw that makes you just end it? is anyone only remaining together "for the kids sake"???? for financial reasons?

Answer 1

Depends what the reasons are for divorce? If it's because you are from another country and are home sick, that's weak. If it's because he/she is the town bicycle, that's different. To remain in an unhappy relationship for the kids is actually probably more detrimental to them than getting a divorce. Kids are not stupid!! You should be able to tell what your partner wants just by talking to them. Try explaining why you are unhappy, see if you can work out ways to try and overcome the sadness. Maybe seek nsome counciling. However if your partner is unwilling to do a little self criticism and soul searching then you will have an uphill battle. There was a reason you got married, did you get married for the wrong reasons? Were you pregnant and felt you had to or were pressured into it by family, or some other reason, did you have doubts walking down the isle. Basically to make it work, you both need to want to make it work. Love and life is not all cherries and roses. To produce cherries and roses you have to get your hands dirty with shi.t. If you catch my meaning. Believe me, I come from Canada and my wife is English, and you would think the two cultures are close to the same, but they're not. We had a whirlwind romance when I lived in Spain and she was on holiday. Being from a work my *** off backround and her being from a priviledged backround we have some real knock down drag out ' rowes'. There are times I just want to smack her(figurativly) and she wants to beat me with a horse whip (literally). But we always manage to come to a comprimise, usually me giving up more, but not always, she can also recognise the folly of her ways. As well divorce rate has actually been dropping these past few years, the 80's women lib attitude of divorce'em if they pee on the seat is waneing. As well the chavinist attitude of W(washing) I (ironing) F (f85king) E (etc) is also waning. In the end the final straw is your decision, no-one can tell you what is right for you except you. Financial reasons...you can always make more money. All the best for you.

Answer 2

Some people are just lucky, they actually find their soul mates..others may rush into the marriage without really knowing how the other person is, awhich can result in marriage if they choose not to go to counseling to work on the relationship that is at stake. Marrage is sacred, and loving someone and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them is wonderful, as long as you do not rush into it, and be sure you really know this person...today too many people rush into it, and then give up too easily when they feel that the marriage has failed...if it's meant to be and you love this person then fight to save it, be string and seek counseling. Divorce is just too easy now....it used to be a lot harder to get divorced.

I do not believe in staying together for the kids, all it does is create bitterness between the parents and the kids DO see this and then it makes everyone angry. Financially staying together, yes, I know some people that are doing it right now, and I believe that if they were stronger emotionally they would realize that they could make it on their own....unless the other is afraid the other will take their earnings so they deal with it, but that is still pathetic.

I got out of my marriage for my kids sake and my sanity. It has notbeen easy financially but I am a survivor. My husband was a verbal and physical abuser who refused to seek counseling, therefore, I could not risk anyones safety by bein gwith him.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Others instances may not b ur faith. There is certainly a point in marriage, a sense of belongingness, sense of security,concentrated care,feeling warmly wanted by somebody.Ego ends it but ego does not breath when true love breaths.Remaining together for kids sake is also not wrong coz u together give them life n u part means life parts from them. One can be together but apart, just for the sake of kids.One cannot for self life can see,the kids, who r a part of one's own entity, suffering n broken.But for financial reasons remaining together does not sound acceptable coz it wud b purely selfish n unhealthy relationship.No one depends on others fully, God provides for everyone so money cant be a valid reason for dragging a decayed relationship.

Answer 5

not sure exactly what the point is-financial-kids-convenient sex-risk of being alone-i think that all contributes to it -yes i do think people remain together for the kids-or try a little harder to get through it when there involved-** last straw - when people leave is abuse-cheating- finding another that really loves you-but most of the times the grass is only greener-because your not married to that new person-don't see all his/her faults yet-and they could be more of the same-if i may give advice-it would be to leave do to abuse-and that can range from physical to emotional-and even financial- good look in your quest to find the right answer-I'm still searching......good luck

Answer 6

You can expect to experience a financial reduction plus attorney's fees - and if there are children involved, this affects them also.

My own feeling after several years of family law practice is that two desperately unhappy people with no hope for happiness is much worse than divorce in most cases. At least apart they have some hope for happiness - or maybe one of them does.

make sure the kids know that it is not their fault - this will be an ongoing issue, so keep reminding them and yourself. Also, please be careful to not use the kids to strike out at the spouse - this is too common and the real tragedy of divorce.

If you think you can do it, go for it. My sincere best wishes for you.

Answer 7

The problem isn't the marriage. It's the fact that people marry when they aren't really in love. So many people get together and fall in lust with each other so they marry, but once the lust has gone and they get to know the person from the inside, they realise they arent emotionally in love with them. You can't really love someone unless you love the very soul of them. People marry for lust, stability and comfort when they should only marry because they want to spend the rest of their life making their partner happy. That's where the problem is

Answer 8

The point of marriage is to make 2 become 1, and it's only because we dont understand each other that things go wrong. The best advice for any married couple is to make sure you BOTH agree to put your partners needs ahead of your own. Women need affection, conversation, financial security, family commitment.....men need sex, a playmate in hobbies, stuff like that, a tidy home to come home to.....

Answer 9

well yeah my parents stayed together for so long because of me though I'm going to college but marriage is commitment if it is over it means it is but it can change.

I'm not married but I would love to someday but ofcourse no this maybe everyone's dream but thinking about what I do it ain't good. divorce may lead to many reasons such as cheating mostly because marriage is about love and comitment if ure lucky then happiness may last a lifetime but if not mostly it sucks.I must be honest with u I rather have a man in my life than get married. good luck for the future.

Answer 10

People forget that marriage is a religious thing - the joining of two people in the eyes of God. Given that most people these days don't seem to be religious, then that isn't really the point any more for most.

One of my friends put it very nicely - for him it's a public declaration of love for and commitment to the woman he intends to spend the rest of his life with.