always wanting to borrow things + in need of counselling because of relationship problems
2006-09-10 02:16:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I was just gong to ask you about my problems....lol
It means that your a super person and you obviously have a heart and give time of day. I woudn't trade that for nothing in this world.
2006-09-10 02:20:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats not a friend, thats someone thats needy. They've come across as friendly to get what they want. They take but don't give. They're being selfish and unreasonable.
Set some boundaries. First, get back everything that they've borrowed, even if you have to take them to their house to get it back.
Then tell them that you're stressed and need more sleep and so won't be answering the phone or door after 8pm. And stick to it. Get a phone with caller id and if they ring leave the answerphone to pick it up.
And next time they have a relationship problem suggest they go to Relate, because they can see a trained counsellor and you don't know how to answer the problem. Have something else ready to talk about and try to head them off before they have a chance to get stuck into todays crisis.
2006-09-10 09:38:10 · answer #2 · answered by sarah c 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your friend makes a habit of doing this to you, he/she is not really a friend but someone who is using you and showing you a total lack of respect. I would rather sit on the pavement outside my friend's house all night than wake her up or upset her in any way. Yes, occasionally friends have a crisis and need extra help, but a pattern of behaviour especially if it involves disturbing you late at night, is just not acceptable.
What would I do? Shout at her probably. I did have a "friend" once who not only totally used me (and others) but also told a lot of stupid, pointless lies about me to get sympathy from others. She seemed quite surprised when I just cut her off and returned all her letters unopened.
2006-09-10 09:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by Specsy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to sod off.....and if someone called to my place all hours in the morning, i simply would not open the door, if she is having probs with her relationship...let her deal with them, it's not your problem, theres only a cetain amount that you can do for a friend, she's takin the mick, tell her to get real, tell her that your tired of her asking for things all of the time, and also tell her that you do like to sleep at night, she dont care how you feel when she's knocking on your door at stupid 'oclock, so why should you care what she needs....tell her to take a hike and call back ewhen it's day time...she's using you, if she didnt have these relationshoip problems, you prolly would not see her for dust....
2006-09-10 09:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by shellysnapz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend like that too. We had a row 2wks ago as i wouldn't help her with a favour and i decided i could live without her but not vice versa. Shes made several attempts to be friends again and admits she took the p*** but my life is my own again and im not fearing the door banging or the fone ringing.
2006-09-10 10:38:18 · answer #5 · answered by china doll 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a neighbour that always needed or wanted stuff from me and i eventually had to start saying no to them but becausethey had kids i felt i had to give them stuff they would come over with 2 bowls in the morning about 7am to see if i could put cereal in them and asking for milk from my shop milk token,they used to want power cards,cigarettes,money,food etc it was getting beyond a joke it was something everyday so i had to stop it even if i had it i had to say i didnt have it because i never got anything back and they were getting more money a week than me
2006-09-10 12:31:36 · answer #6 · answered by carlyxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one, ar ethey really in need of help or looking for attention.....do they fancy you, or feel close in any way. No matter what the reason is you must tell this friend to stop or at leastring....this is putting a strain on your friendship
2006-09-10 09:24:41 · answer #7 · answered by tezz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your friend is a taker and not a giver.i had that with a sister in law my wife was giving her all sorts of stuff but i put a stop to it i told her.to get of her very large bum and get a job.so now when she dose comes up i tell her your getting f**k all its all Lock up b**ch and its work't she keeps her big mouth shout.peace at last now she is working
2006-09-10 10:53:27 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let them know that the only emergency is if you're on fire and that anything else can wait until a more decent hour.
Then stick to it.
2006-09-10 09:18:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
welll sit them down and tell them to come and vist at a reasonable time and that your not a counsellor or home depot
2006-09-10 09:20:00 · answer #10 · answered by free2chat_tou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋