the same man, we have two children together, 6 and 9. We have a beautiful home, beautiful cars, we travel all over the world. I don't need to work but I've chosen last year to return to teaching. I teach 4th grade at a very poor school. Besides my own children, I get my greatest satisfaction out of spending time and spoiling my kids at school. Recently, my husband and I have separated for the last two years and even though we've been trying to put it back together, it's just not there. I'm tired of the wealth, I just don't feel anything for him anymore. I want to try and stay together, I'm not a quitter, but honestly he's drowning me. What is wrong with me? I want to make it to 50 years but I think I'll self destruct if I stay any longer. Help!
2006-09-10 02:08:00 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No I grew up poor so I am not used to this kind of wealth
2006-09-10 02:14:45 · update #1
You've grown apart. Your trying to hang onto something that is not there for all the wrong reasons. Love, admiration and a genuine fondness for a person are part of a marriage and without them you are just exsisting in a relationship. You really need to put an end to the 2 year seperation and get a divorce and start your life over again with someone that you love and are loved by in return. Not only will you be happier in your life but I'm sure your children and your husband (now) will be in his. Good luck to you
2006-09-10 02:23:49 · answer #1 · answered by sassywv 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I admire your courage, Amy. I truly do. You are a winner just for the reasons you've talked about.
There is a parallel story I would like to share with you. There was a couple with six children who, while seemingly happy, just never had any common ground. They made each other miserable like you couldn't imagine, but indeed fessed up and did their part, thinking they owed it to their children. Eventually they did divorce after 37 years. I can tell you, it should have happened long before that. I was one of the six kids witnessing their issues day in and day out, and the two were my parents. Please don't wait that long. Both of you deserve better and it will only compound the misery to the children the longer you wait. Again, I admire your courage and your persistence, but there is one saying I would revert to:
Better an end in misery than a misery without end.
I'm sorry that you probably didn't want to hear this, but it's our own experience.
You say you're drowning. Don't wait till the water is over your head. Get out of the pool while you can, and do take the kids with you.
2006-09-10 02:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you felt "self destruct ", I suggest you better out, I had similar situation like you do. I have been tried more than 20 years for my marriage with my husband, but unfortunately it doesn't work anymore. Because I can't love him anymore and I don't have feelings for him after so many unhappy issue between us. So, now no matter what my husband is trying his best, but I just can't return the love for him. It's sad when a couple in such situation. So, I started make up my mind to move on to my own life. It will be better for everyone.
2006-09-10 03:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wealth is not happiness which you allready know. Follow your heart which is not with your husband. That drowning feeling is very real and you need to get rid of that feeling before it drags you down further. I am not telling you from a womens point of view because I am a guy who was married to a women for 14 years and we both felt that way.
2006-09-10 02:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get out now. It's not good for your children to see you this unhappy. You have been separated for 2 years and you are not happy. Don't stay to just to make it to 50 years, find your own happiness and maybe you'll find some one else to shoot for that goal with. Good luck in whatever you decide to do
2006-09-10 02:17:34 · answer #5 · answered by shelshe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question I have for you...Did you have these feelings when you went back to teaching? If you did, I believe, teaching a less fortunate child, would enhance these feelings of not wanting the money. Money can not buy love. I would move on...you don't want to learn to hate him. He is the father of your children. Divorce as friends and not enemies.
2006-09-10 02:13:07 · answer #6 · answered by mettaraine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think sometimes when wwe try to withdraw from people it draws them closer to us. he probably sences theres something wrong and is trying harder to keep the relationship.get some counseling. youve heard the saying im sure " the grass isnt always greener on the other side"if hes a good provider and a good father and husband as well then you need to think really hard about whats going on. i can tell you from years of experience that a good man is so hard to find.and your kids deserve two parents a swell
2006-09-10 02:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i replaced into married slightly over 4 years and gave the husband an ultimatum of remedy and AA and engaged on our issues he so no so i suggested bye. It replaced right into a alleviation to have the darkish cloud off and away, so convinced i'll do no longer ignore that aspect.
2016-11-25 23:26:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better to get out now, than to self-destruct. I stayed in mine for 25 years, and it ended so, 13, 25, or 50....if it's not working, get out.....and the sooner, the better!
2006-09-10 02:23:13 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we always hav the choice of movin on or try to stay
but personally i look for a spiritual connection
in a relationship as well as physical. if a person really
isnt in the same place spiritually as u are
its not wrong to move on
2006-09-10 02:58:27 · answer #10 · answered by use 2b light 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋