more limericks....can you write something better? funnier? more amusing and entertaining???

Question

A bad man named Jack the Ripper
Was punished for killing a stripper
she had got him aroused
When she called him a louse
When he mistakenly called her Agrippa!

Answer 1

There was a young man from Japan
Whose limericks just wouldn't scan
When asked why said he
The reason you see
Is that I always try to put as many words into the last line as I possibly can.

Answer 2

There once was a girl named Alice,
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her **** in Dallas.

There once was a girl so snide
She went into the sea at low tide.
You could tell by her squeals
That some of the eels
Had found a new place to hide.

There once was a man named Lancelot,
Upon whom people looked askance a lot.
For whenever he'd pass
A shapely young lass
The front of his pants would advance a lot.

Answer 3

i'm in that way too. perhaps there are much less distractions at night the place you reside. it relatively is why you write better at night. or perhaps you merely are not a morning or an afternoon individual. You even want feeling the strain of having to do issues in a hurry by using fact a while is determining.

Answer 4

An accident really uncanny
Befell a respectable granny:
She sat down in a chair
While her false teeth were there
And bit herself right in the fanny.

A flea and a fly in a flue,
Were imprisoned,so what could they do?
Said the fly,"Let us flea!"
"Let us fly!"said the flea,
And they flew through a flaw in the flue.

There was a young salesman of Leeds
Rashly swallowed six packets of seeds.
In a month,silly ***,
He was covered with grass
And couldn't sit down for the weeds.

Answer 5

There was a young monk of Siberia
Whose morals were highly inferior
One night for some fun
He slept with a nun
And now she's a Mother Superior

Answer 6

There once was a God called Jehovah
Within a week built the world over
Then along came free will
We all took the red pill
Ever since poor God's been a rover

Answer 7

I made this up for another questioner. It lost lol

There once was a boy in my class,
who thought his butt was made of glass.
'till he fell on his back,
and we laughed at the crack
at the top of the cheeks of his **** (",)

This one's new-

There once was a man with a vice,
Who thought that his woman was nice.
And he took her to bed, even though she was dead,
to defrost her, because of the ice.

New-

There once was a wonderful gimp,
who said to his regular pimp.
i need a good lass, to thrash my poor @ss,
and i want to go home with a limp.

New-

This love is a beautiful science,
a statement of real defiance.
As she washes the clothes,
water pumps through the hose.
as she presses against the appliance.

Answer 8

There was once a man from Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe
He woke with a fright in the dark of the night
and found it was perfectly true

Answer 9

Don't know if this is better but:

There once was a dog from Belize
Who couldn't get rid of his fleas
So he put on a shirt
And rolled in some dirt
And the fleas all died of disease

Answer 10

There was a young man from Tibet
Who really hated to get wet
'Til a girl with a glower
Gave him a golden shower;
Then he took one each chance he could get.