I have heart failure and I have a low sex drive, my husband has a high sex drive. Because i have alow sex drive i don't mind pleasing my husband so that he feels good. We got into an arguenemt because he says he wants to return the favor, and he's not just one of those guys that just wants to "get off." The issue is I don't need him to return the favor, I don't care about it. He kisses, holds me, and caresses me this is enough for me...(He told me I should just find a guy that wants to get off.) Is his need to return the favor and please ME just about HIM and what he wants to do? I don't care about needing to sexually feel good and get off orally or whatever....I'm happy just knowing that I can make him feel good. If i don't care why does he push it so much?
2006-09-10 00:44:25 · 24 answers · asked by dlmvm0612 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
explain to him what you have told us. Hopefully he will understand.
2006-09-10 00:47:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, talk to you doctor about the heart failure and low sex drive. Is the low sex drive because of fear for the heart failure? You need to talk to a professional about this right away. Perhaps the low sex drive can be treated. It doesn't sound like your husband's need to "return the favor" is about him, I think he just genuinely wants to show you how much he loves you, and perhaps when you say no, maybe he is hearing that you don't care that much. Not necessarily about sex, but about him.
This is important to your husband, and therefore should be to you as well. Go see a professional about these problems soon.
2006-09-10 07:57:00 · answer #2 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend,
My wife had heart surgery about 31/2 years ago. We are in our late 40s and while I enjoy making love as Much as ever she has little interest. She, like you tries to keep me taken care of but its not as important to her.
The problem I suggest with your Husband is he feels you either don't want him or hes not attractive to you. The male ego is a tough thing and it makes a man wonder " if I am not pleasing her who is".
Let him know you are there for him and how much you love him as you have. I think he will get the message. It may take a while. Are there any things you still like to do that he can do for you? Let him... Hope you are doing well and best of luck.
2006-09-10 08:04:55 · answer #3 · answered by Oldguy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably loves you and feels that he is not doing enough to return the satisfaction that you give him and that part of the relationship is missing something. At the same time, he must enjoy satisfying you. I would think it would be difficult for him to love you and be in this situation. He may be being a little selfish but at the same time, what man doesn't want what he does.
If I were in his position, even though I am getting sexual satisfaction, if I loved the woman, I would want to make her feel as good as she makes me feel.
Good luck with everything.
2006-09-10 07:57:39 · answer #4 · answered by Obsean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't understand why you don't want the pleasure returned. It may make him feel like you don't like the way he does it. You should sit down with him and explain to him that as a women your needs are meet when he cuddles with you, remind him that because he is a man that his needs differ from yours. Tell him that you are more than happy with the cuddling and although you enjoy the way he pleasures you orally it isn't something that you need as much as you need the cuddling. HOPE THIS HELPS. GOOD LUCK
2006-09-10 08:17:48 · answer #5 · answered by angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Getting of as u say isnt about climax. Getting off is about the other person knowing u have the ability to to bring them off is the biggest turn on. try mutual masterbation or just stand nacked and allow him to fondle your body tip 2 toe asking for enjoyment and how u want it will help. Then u may find your sex drive will increase as the confidace in your self dose because of your health. Dont confuse lack of sex drive with fear, so deniying yourself, will protect you from getting sick again
2006-09-10 07:59:44 · answer #6 · answered by grannygrancarrol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably cannot truly believe that you find him resistible , so that he is pushing the limits to see who you are really "getting it off with"
If indulging an ego trip for him makes him feel good and you love him, can you do that for him once in a while without endangering yourself?
Women have been faking it since time immemorial. You never know you may find that faking it works for you too...
2006-09-10 08:12:40 · answer #7 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently ,he loves you .He just wants you to feel as good as he does.
Heart failure is not a reason for low sex drive .
It is a chronic condition that need meds.
Maybe you should talk to your doctor about your sex drive .
How is your self image ?
This all could be psychological.
2006-09-10 07:49:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He obviously cares deeply for you can you not just give in and let him show you how much he loves you. Some men can only express their love through physical means. To them its part of the package (the home, providing financial means, being a good father, and taking care of his wife). Just communicate with him, express to him what you told us.
2006-09-10 13:00:22 · answer #9 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry for the heart condition but being a male its the fack that he feels that you r pushing him away and 1 fing about making love is not to get off its 2 be with another person shreing the affection together and him pushing you is just his way of loving you he just wants that conection ok
2006-09-10 07:52:28 · answer #10 · answered by pompylad87 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question is inconsistent and diverse. You have "a heart failure". Your libido is low while your hubby's high. He wants to please you and you dislike it. You are content with oral. He alludes that you ought to "find a guy that wants to get off". So what's the question? Does he want you to screw with a "speedy Gonzales" while he does it with a "high Helen"? Tell him what pleases you and what you can do to please him. Introduce him to new tricks and ideas that'll gratify his wild ego and win your peace of mind.
2006-09-10 07:55:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋