The main problem is that she is an American living in the US & i am Indian living in India, she is very apprehensive about moving here because of the change in the culture and stuff, and the biggest things is that she will be so far away from her family. She cannot come to India now, but we do plan to visit eachother atleast once before we get married. But how do I calm her down now cuz she gets really overwhelmed at times. I understand her concerns but i really need a female point of view about how to handle this and to tell her that it will be ok. And not just tell her but also make things better for her, to make the transition as smooth as possible. I plan to tell her more and more about India, the people, culture etc. She is always welcome to chat with my friends here or call up my family and stuff. But i think we need more. How can I help her?
Please advise me ladies. Thanks a lot
2006-09-09 20:48:14 · 11 answers · asked by subirendra 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i told her once that i love Delhi a lot and don't exactly relish the idea of staying in the US, so she gets pissed off when i say that i am willing to move to the US, though i am willing to do that now that I know how perfect she is for me.
2006-09-09 20:55:44 · update #1
moving/visiting = money. that has to wait until I haves saved up enough of that, I am doing that. But how do i hold her up until we have actually met?? thats the question. Yes we are tryin to go slow on the marriage talks. we r in for a major slowdown.
2006-09-09 20:58:03 · update #2
lose her rights as a woman????? I can see that you do not know much about my country do you??? Sorry but that is not the right way to help
2006-09-09 21:00:44 · update #3
maybe you should hold off on the marriage talk until she's physically with you
2006-09-09 20:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my situation is not as big as yours, but I can relate a bit(cross country from each other). The best thing to do is to compromise a bit. You both want to be together, right? The trick is to figure out the pro's and con's of living in the US vs. living in India. For both of you, there will be culture shock. Tell and explain to her the customs and traditions in India, and of your country. Try to ease her fears by showing some of the things that might remind her of living in the U.S. You can send pictures, have your family talk to her, etc. If that doesn't work, then compromise again. Try to give or do whatever you know will soothe her. Every girl has something that always calms her down. For me, it's my boyfriend's voice.
At the same time, have her show you things about the U.S. It would probably help narrow your decisions down. Just show her that no matter what, you love her and will be there for her in whatever she chooses, and will help her every step of the way. And remind her that sometimes distance from the family can be a good thing ;-) I hope that helped you a bit!
2006-09-09 21:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by Maico 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like shes having a reality check, and unfortunately for you it may very well just bounce. I'll tell you what, biased on the limited information you gave, it was still more than enough to see that she loves the idea of being loved and loving someone in return, but when it comes to commitment, something just ain't right. If I were you, I would consider that maybe she is giving you the old run around. An American singer said once "Love Bites" and you my friend have just been made a meal of. She won't go there, yet she won't let you go to her either? Something is not right and deep down inside you know it. So wean yourself off of her and give yourself to a woman who will never make you question your relationship with her. You deserve to have a real woman, who will be not only be a companion, but a real help mate.
2006-09-09 21:12:39 · answer #3 · answered by A Friend 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello there, my advice is keep it simple. I mean, make it real, don't just talk and think about the problem, but rather, face it. Plan for her to come to India in next three months (or anytime she can make it), and get to introduce her to your country, family, culture etc.. See if she likes it but don't push her to. And after that, you have to quickly save up and visit US too, but i think that when you got there there wont be so much of culture shock if you know what i mean, media influence and such.. well.. You can as well make it the other way around, you go there first, she follows, but the idea is that it's crucial for both of you to see and actually meet each other physically before setting up commitment and such.. coz when people meet online there are few things that they don't let others to see, may be that is what she's worrying about. If me, i'd be worried if you would be disappointed and change your mind when we meet etc. I'm not implying but your impression may change *a bit* when you actually meet her. Hey aren't you yourself curious about how it is when you meet her? Then meet her.. hehe.. Online relationships may sound unreal for some, but if you can make real commitment out of it, then it would be lovely.. good luck!
2006-09-09 23:38:09 · answer #4 · answered by fly_like_kobe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Subirendra, First of all, You both need to meet each other, and spend some time with each other.How else are you going to know for sure, If you both love 1 and the other.Sending emails back and forth is alot different that meeting in person.Alot of things could change when you finally me.I wouldn't plan anything right now,until you see if it will work out for you both.Another thing you might think about.American women are alot different that your women in india.We will stay up to what we believe in.And this seating in the back seat and having to let the men sit in front,That is a bunch of crap.Why do women in india have to walk behind their men!!!That is also a bunch of crap.There alot of things you believe in that us americans don't.I think you are going to have alot more problems than you think.
Clowmy
2006-09-09 21:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't talk about marriage until you have actually met. You will discover things about each other once you met, which you can't possibly know from online chat.
There is not much you can do to calm her down. This is a huge step. She needs to see your country, see where you will live, meet your family and then she can make up her mind.
2006-09-09 20:53:36 · answer #6 · answered by brand_new_monkey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's not comfortable with it... she's not comfortable with it. Unless you can dispell her fears (which may be that she's afraid of losing her rights as a woman), it will not work. Wouldn't push marriage until you can get her to trust you and the country.
2006-09-09 20:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by 1Jazzy1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go and see get, ger ur *** to the airport, if you love her do a spur of the moment, thing, then take a holiday to india, and see what happens. get off your *** and do something instead ofjust talking about meeting each other soon.
2006-09-09 20:55:16 · answer #8 · answered by sara m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely meet her first, you may not like her as much as you think in person. I don't think she will like it there myself. You could invite her over for a vacation, but not marriage yet.
2006-09-09 20:55:00 · answer #9 · answered by shardf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe you should move to the us. have you guys talked about that?
2006-09-09 20:51:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋