What do you do when life is so cruel that you still want to die after being put on 3 anti-depressants?

Question

I am a lesbian who just got out of an abusive 3 year relationship,but I am having significant emotional problems while trying to learn how to regain control of my life,my children and my finances.I feel like I have been a zombie for 3 years and became comfortable with only doing what she said,or suffering the negative effects she caused if I didn`t,and only buying what she wrote down on a list,or having to account for any money that wasn`t readily available upon her request.I should feel better but I don`t!Any input would be taken into concideration and very much appreciated,thank you.

Answer 1

Awww, a hug for you

Life can be cruel I'm afraid, but when life gets tough we have to get as tough
Don't allow things to knock you down-and keep you down for too long because it is your life that is passing you by and not being filled with what matters. Love and happy memories that you need to build now to help keep you strong later on.
Happy memories to recollect when older, all part of your book.
YOUR book, and every page a day being part of a chapter and each chapter being part of your life story.
Don't fill the pages with darkness, when can fill each with a giggle to collect later on. A little smile to widen the aging face one day...

We all have dark moments in our lives, and it is only us that can push the shadows behind us to create a clear path before us. It is only us who can climb out the pithole that others dig before us, it is only us who can make the day bright by how we give ourselves hope.

You have to let go of yesterday for tomorrow, and it is today you should start doing it. Pamper yourself, listen to happy music write or draw or go for a drive or on holiday or anything that will help you through this time.
Do it for you, do it for tomorrow because today and tomorrow is worth living for, yesterday is gone, just part of our history, and the less we drag it along with us the brighter tomorrow will be.

Live!
Live for YOU

So what others have hurt, you can be tough and be tough!
You can love, and love life until that special person comes along. So much to love in life

I hope I haven't been too blunt, only trying to help

God Bless You!
xxxx


Oh, now I have never been on pills, but when you find the light within you, there should be no need for those pills. I so hope you can rid of the pills and find love within-it begins with YOU!

Answer 2

Anti-depressants alone will not help you. Some anti-depressants, in fact, can have a negative effect on a lot of people. Anti-depressants, with counselling would be a far better way to go.

You have been in a domestic violence situation for quite some time, and your self esteem would be the pits right now. In any abusive relationship, there is one who hold the power, and one who bows down to that power for whatever reason. What this does to a person, is to degrade them so badly that they feel like they arent worthy to even live.

You need to talk to a specific domestic violence counsellor....I am sure there must be a domestive violence association or shelter in your area that can advise you. Being a lesbian has nothing to do with it, and any self respecting counsellor will not see this as an issue. You were in a relationship with an abusive partner, male or female it doesnt matter. You were the victim and you need some help getting your self esteem back.

It took a lot of guts for you to walk away from this abusive relationship....a lot of people never find the fortitude to do it. You do have the power to get through this, because you showed a lot of courage to walk away from the abusive relationship. You need support and the best support you could ever get is through a domestic violence counsellor....she is very experienced in dealing with all the negative emotions you are feeling right now.

Take one day at a time, with support, you will get through this. I know it sounds like a cliche, that time heals everything....sometimes it doesnt, but that is usually because the person hasnt gotten the help they need. In 99 percent of the cases though, time is the only healer.

I was going to say good luck, but its not luck you need...its support.

I just wanted to elaborate, just in case you are not aware, domestic violence is not just physical, it is emotional, sexual, mental, you name it. If one person controlls another through fear, guilt or whatever, then you are in a domestic violent situation. I reckon they should change their name to something else because the word violence seems to say to women that they are only in an abusive situation if they are being beaten, and that is not the case.

Answer 3

My sister has been married 3 times and each relationship failed. They would either cheat on her or beat her up. During her marriages she lost sight of how important her children were to her..those persons always came in first place before her children. When the last relationship ended the only ones that were there to help her were her children.With their love, patience, innocence and persistance they helped her get out of her deep depression...she had tried to commit suicide. Sometimes when I have had such a bad day at work all I need is to see the smiles my kids give me and my sadness turns to happiness cause I know that they love and need me...I even forget at times why I was so sad or pissed off. Spend time with your kids..get to know them and you feel a big change.

Answer 4

Darlin', antidepressants can make a depressed person with suicidal thought even worse. All I can tell you is talk to your doctor. There are so many different kinds of pills and they take awhile to work. My doctor told me mine would take about a month to kick in and I've been on them for over 3 weeks and they still have not taken effect.

Give it time.

As for the girlfriend.. being miserable can become a habit and almost comfortable in it's familiarity. You need to start purposefully finding things to take joy in... like your children. Make that your new habit. You'll be fine.. but first you have to choose to accept this new stage in your life and force yourself to thrive and embrace happiness.

Answer 5

check the side effects of your meds. Some can make depression worse- like the feeling not to live- talk with another doctor and get a second opinion on any meds you are currently taking- they be the wrong ones for you. each pill has a different affect on people. it took about 8 different pill trys & varying doses to get my depression undercontrol. Also PLEASE see a counsoler about the abuise relationship- talking with a professional can really help you work through an issues you have

Answer 6

Sounds like you have a crappy therapist and psychiatrists. Antidepressants can also take up to over a month to fully kick in so some times you just have to wait.
If your unhappy with your treatment via code of ethics the therapists should refer you to another professional. Make sure that professional has experience working with lesbian clients and psychological domestic violence issues.

Answer 7

STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! First line of your question.....this cruel world. You chose to be in the relationship, you stuck it out after you found out what it was like. Don't act like God or whatever just threw this all in your lap as a cruel joke.
Being depressed and useless in your own life is just your crutch. So you don't have to try. I bet that is why you got into the controlling relationship in the first place.
JUST STOP IT.
Write down 10 things that you can do to make your life better, THAN DO THEM. Stop whining, accept the past, accept the present and move FORWARD to a better future that you can create for yourself. Until you hardwire your own mind to do this (or rather to ALLOW this) you will waste away in your depressive state.

Answer 8

All I can say is: keep on keeping on.

It's going to take a while to feel whole again, months probably. Accept this and enjoy the small moments of happiness that will occur along the way. At some point, when you are least expecting it, you WILL feel better and good again.

Answer 9

You probably need a med adjustment. I take 3 antidepressants and still need to change meds as their effectiveness wears off over time. Perhaps you need a better psychiatrist. Its not easy to "mix a cocktail". Have you tried the new one called Cymbalta? I found Remeron works well to make the SSRIs(Cymbalta, Zoloft, Lexapro, etc, etc) more effective. Also, try exercise; it really helps! Keep trying!
CR

Answer 10

FIRST get off the anti depressants,
Then, realize that the change has to come from within,
if you have taken any Psychology classes one thing that you will learn is
that what you think contributes to how you feel. (Maybe not in those exact terms) If you constantly worry and think about these things, you will make yourself sick.
It is hard to do and may take a little time to feel better, but, if you get involved in something to begin with, it will take your mind off of these things.
Plus, you have to train yourself not to think about these negative things, Start thinking about 1 positive thing everyday.
add something each day, even if it is just smiling at people when you walk by them, they may not even notice, but, doing nice things will make you feel better about yourself, and you can even get a laugh at yourself, because you may get weird looks. lol
Things will get better, I know, but, we will not go into all that.