Serious answers only, please.
My fiance and I seperated last year for about three months due to his cheating, and I hooked up with someone else.
That someone else and I decided we could only be friends and have remained so ever since. He listens to me vent about my man, he gives me advice to resolve our disagreements, he never does or say anything innappropriate, he's excited about my wedding in December, and he's all around just a good guy.
I am not hiding anything from my fiance about my friendship with this guy, but he still gets cranky about it sometimes. He later comes back and tells me that he's sorry, that he's just overreacting and that he trusts me, that he really doesn't have a problem with my being friends with this guy.
It's pretty obvious that he does.
My question is this--should I break off the good friendship or just keep things like they are? How would you feel?
2006-09-09 19:38:06 · 15 answers · asked by Bachman-ette 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He will not try and "pull a move", because I will rip his ***s off. He knows that.
2006-09-09 19:44:47 · update #1
Well, if he cheated on you...you reap what you sow. I would stay friends with him, but make sure your fiancee knows that you arent doing anything with him, and that your never in a situation with him where that kind of thing could ever even be questioned at. For instance, if you go over to his house or apartment or whatever for a few hours without anyone else therre, I can understand his discomfort. But if you go out for mini-golf (just an idea I pulled out of my butt) theres not a lot of room for question.
2006-09-09 19:44:20 · answer #1 · answered by imkopaka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is in your heart! and how much you enjoy DRAMA?. your guy(fiance) is the one your planning on marryin(making him your life partner). If the roles were reversed, and he had a female in the wings that he confided in how would you react. unfortunatly in this life friends come and go, and if you want it to work w/ your guy. you need to try and make it work with him and not a third party. otherwise your in for a long ride down a real bumpy road. You could get 30 different answers to your question. but when it comes to the bottom line, the choice is purely yours. As far as the infidelity issue brushed by in your question, you stated that you seperated due to his cheating, obviously he has made amends or you wouldnt want to still marry him, True? but yet you still run to the person you replaced him with during your seperation?. to an extent, in his mind you might be cheating on him ( maybe not physically cheating , but, mentally and emotionally). GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
2006-09-10 03:19:24 · answer #2 · answered by rugbumpr69@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply answer is this your Man will never be comfortable with this other guy in your life. He see him as a person that is taking up space in your life and providing you with a service that is your man's place. Even if your man does not fulfill that roll in your life he don't want someone else to do it either. Bottom line is your man is jealous and will always be jealous of this other dude so you must decide how much do this other guy mean to you. If he fulfill an important need in your life then keep him around but it may come to a point where you have to sneak around to see him and then that will cause other problems . If he is not that important then explain its either him or your man and you choose your man.
2006-09-10 02:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by meanblacktiger 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friendships are "Golden"... Do not break this one off- EVER! Dump the non-trusting, cheating, fiance. The marraige is doomed from the start... be patient... the right man will come along... maybe even your "friend".?
2006-09-10 02:49:06 · answer #4 · answered by 4nik8er 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You expect that your husband will be okay with the fact that you slept with this guy.
How does that statement sound to you?
Better yet, do you know any of the girls he slept with and are they hanging around him?
I just don't see this working out.
Sooner ofr later the fact that you slept with this guy will resurface and bite one or all three of you in the behind. He may not be jealous now, you may not be unfaithful now, your friend may not want to have sex with you now, but one day, it could happen.
The question is do you trust yourself?
2006-09-10 02:47:16 · answer #5 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Friends come first. If your man don't like it tell him too bad. My husband was getting kinda jealous of the time me and my friend spent together, because I wasn't spending all my free time at home with him. Well, he told me to choose between them and was shocked when I looked at him and said "Bye". He realized he was just being stupid and apologized. It's been good since.
2006-09-10 02:40:08 · answer #6 · answered by teeniey37 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, Why did you take him back ? if he has done this once, he is more likely do it again......
Second, no such thing as just a guy-friend anymore than there is just a girl-friend... especially if you have already slept with him. What is to stop you from sleeping with him again if you and you man get into another big argument ?
Seriously Listen to Tom Leykis..... He'll set you straight.
2006-09-10 02:47:49 · answer #7 · answered by Irving G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not a guy, but I'm going to answer your question because I've had the exact same problem. What I did was introduce my friend to my boyfriend. I encouraged them to hang out both with and without me. It took a little while, but eventually my boyfriend got to know him and realized he wasn't a threat.
2006-09-10 02:42:55 · answer #8 · answered by IAINTELLEN 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ive always felt that friends come before relationships, but in your case, its not as clearcut as that. What do you place mopre importance on, your friendship with the guy you hooked up with, or your rockier relationship with your fiance?
2006-09-10 02:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by talz_talz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want things to work between you and your husband break it off......but a word of advice, if your husband cheated once he will continue to do it I know this from experience and you take a chance of losing a true friend
2006-09-10 02:42:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋