ok here is my problem...my step mother in law is pregnant with twins...they will be my daughter's(her step grand daughter) aunt and uncle but my daughter is 18 months now...and the twins arent even born yet. how do i go about explaining all of this to her??? and when is the best age to explain this to her???
a lil back ground...my father in law is 46 and my step mother in law is 28(dont ask!!!) and he had a vasectomy done after my hubby was born. so to get his new wife prego they had to do invitro....well she is finally prego with twins...a boy and a girl...they are due in november/december.
she says that because her kids are the aunt and uncle they are gonna boss my daughter around...but knowing my daughter and her being older she isnt gonna let that happen....so what do i do if they decide to punish her cuz of that??? or is it one of those things that i will have to wait and see if it comes up and then deal with it then??? please help!!!!
2006-09-09 19:25:33 · 18 answers · asked by *His_Playgirl* 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
oh believe me she is serious about them being the boss in her house.
2006-09-09 21:12:47 · update #1
Your daughter will be almost 2 years older than them. I don't think kids that young will understand that aunts and uncles are usually older than their nieces. Younger kids tend to imitate older kids and look up to them as role models. This is a double-edged sword, as the younger kids imitate good as well as bad habits.
I hope your step mil understands that aunts and uncles are usually a generation older, and she does not expect your daughter to comply with their requests. Aunts and uncles sometimes babysit their nieces and nephews. You would not expect them to watch your daughter in this situation, as her judgment would be two years more mature than theirs!
If there is ever a situation that comes up where your mil expects your daughter to do everything her aunt and uncle tell her to do, you could remind mil of their ages. When your daughter turns 7, would mil expect her to do everything a kindergartener at your daughter's school tells her to do?
You also may want to take a look at what mil wants your daughter to do. Children at the age of two have difficulty sharing and their favorite word is "no". They have to be taught to share. In a case like this, it's okay for her to insist that your daughter share.
2006-09-09 19:47:52 · answer #1 · answered by salsera 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL ok more than likely they are gonng grow up being like cousins or closer because they are gonna be so close in age and if you let her start calling them aunt and uncle when they are born i dont think that you will have ta explain alot and about them punishing her for that thats you child not theres good luck
2006-09-09 19:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by Jeannie T 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry about it. They are kids they will adjust. You adults have the problem. Watch you've got mail Where Tom Hanks is a 30 something man out with his aunt and uncle who are young children.
It will be a family joke by the time they are old enough to understand it or care.
Now lighten up and enjoy, you daughter will have kids to play with.
2006-09-09 19:33:27 · answer #3 · answered by starting over 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no offense intended, but you are getting a little ahead of things.
Let the kids be kids. Sooner or later, they will ask about the relationships (i never did figure out some of them-- second cousin once removed ???!!!) and you can explain then, with flowcharts, if needed.
Mostly, the kids won't care - it will either be funny OR a non-issue.
Who bosses who around is not based on familial titles.
Either your stepmother-in-law enjoys needling you, or she is just a real pain. Her statement ( about who will be bossing whom) is somewhere between ignorant, inappropriate, and bizarre.
2006-09-09 19:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they grow up together, they will act like cousins. As long as the woman having the twins raises them to love unconditionally and with out bulling people around. Then everything will work out fine. Besides 20 month's between kids in no difference.
2006-09-09 19:33:02 · answer #5 · answered by A Friend 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a niece who is only one month older than me......its never been a big deal....as a kid, i always had someone to play with, as a teen, i had someone to drink with, as an adult, i have a friend who understands when i whinge about my family......It's never been an issue. The same goes for your family. Let kids be kids. when they need to understand it, they will, kids dont see this sort of thing as being as complex as adults see it.
2006-09-09 19:35:29 · answer #6 · answered by talz_talz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Details are totally unceessay as they won't understand it anyway. Just tell them we have new babies in the big family and leave it at that.
All your baby will is, there are new babies and they cry a lot....
Let the relationship between kids develop on its own. No need to worry before they form.
2006-09-09 19:32:34 · answer #7 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It will be years before any of them understand the whole family dynamics. Just let them all play just like any other kids. Sounds like it's the adults that are acting like kids in this one.
2006-09-09 19:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by Kayt 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's already telling you that they're going to boss her around? That's ridiculous... I bet she's joking. You can't possibly take that seriously - they're not going to be miniature grown-ups, they'll be babies just like your daughter :-)
You have nothing to worry about - just tell your daughter that these are daddy's brother and sister. I don't think there's anything unnatural about that.
2006-09-09 21:00:37 · answer #9 · answered by IVF Expert 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait on her to get older and confused about the situation,then explain it to her
2006-09-10 03:13:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋