For the ladies: Can you translate this for me?

Question

Met a girl who trained me at an old job of mine. Ever since, we'd have deep convos where she'd usually call me, and confide in me about a lot for hours on end. She also would laugh at things I didn't mean to be funny, and was apologetic alot when she didn't need to be. She would also call me up during a holiday and also spent 5 hours on the phone with me the other night, apologizing saying how she had been busy because of her job.

She does have a boyfriend though, that's why I'm not pushing it. They been together for 4 years, but she'll tell me that it's not the greatest, and when she goes over there she makes it sound like its a night job rather than spending time with him. She also says to me that she's faithful.

What is it that's going on......exactly? Is there more to it than can be assumed already?

Answer 1

She like's you and she want's you .

Answer 2

Well, from the first paragraph it sounds like she's really interested in you. From the second paragraph, it sounds like she wants you more than her boyfriend, but doesn't have the courage to break up with him because she doesn't know if you're into her or not. By telling you that she doesn't really like her boyfriend and that being with him is a chore, she's hoping that you'll step in and 'rescue' her, or tell her that you love her more and ask her to leave him for you. She's probably making a point of telling you how faithful she is because she wants you to think she'd be a loyal girlfriend, and doesn't want you to think she's one of those girls who would dump their current boyfriend for the next best thing.

So, bottom line: If you want her, she's yours, but she'll probably resist at first just to prove she really is loyal. Doubtless, she wants some kind of romance-movie-esque scene. However, if she continues to refuse you and avoids all your calls, then I've been horribly wrong about the whole situation and you can take away my 2 points.

Answer 3

I think that she is contemplating leaving him, and she is using (not necessarily in a bad way) your attention to help her get strong enough to do it. She may actually like you, or she may just be enjoying the attention. Just be aware that in either case this girl will probably have a lot of baggage and grieving to do after she leaves this guy - you don't stay in a relationship for four years and just decide to leave one day on a whim, with no problems. This is not to say she is bad or mean or anything - but that she is delicate, and probably won't be in a situation where she can be in a real relationship for a while after she breaks up if she does break up w/ him. If she does do it, be there for her if you are interested in her. Maybe when the smoke clears, you two will have a shot.

Answer 4

Well, for one thing, you guys don't seem to be in sync here. She's laughing at things you don't mean to be funny, apologizing a lot... Here are some possibilities:

1) She's confused about her relationship and needs someone to talk to while she tries to figure it out;

2) She attracted to you but not sure if you're a good match (see above), so she's trying to get to know you better before making any decisions;

3) She's a compulsive confessor (lots of confiding, lots of apologizing, telling you the boyfriend relationship isn't going well), and you're willing to listen.

Women, generally speaking, like to talk. The more we talk, the closer we feel. It's how we bond, solve problems, make sense of the world. You'd have to look at how she treats you all around, what she does, to figure out what she's trying to do here.

Your choice is to decide what part you see her playing in your life, Possible Girlfriend to Date, Possible Friend (does she ask about you and your life?), Possible Annoying Person Who Won't Stop Calling Me. Once you figure out what you want, proceed accordingly and see what she does.

Answer 5

I agree with everyone here, she definately has an interest in you. No one would spend that amount of time on the phone with the opposite sex without having an interest in them. I would come right out and ask her what is going on and if she is trying to get closer to you. It can't hurt since you guys are just friends. Does she tell you stories on how she is unhappy with her b/f because right there it is a signal that she is thinking of moving on and looking for someone else, which could be you.

Answer 6

She's thinking of breaking it off with her guy probably and what's you to probably turn into that friend that turns into more. It's like keep options open if things don't work out with her and her guy. Not the best choise of women. Iw ould only talk to her as friends if I were you and if she wants more in the future be careful of her grass is greener on the other side personality.

Answer 7

She definitely likes you! I know I can't just spend that much time talking to someone I'm not interested in. As far as with her boyfriend...I think it's getting old to her. She may be growing tired of him and is starting to test the waters to see what else is out there if she were to leave him

Answer 8

She's enjoying the attention you give her. It makes her feel desired. Although she has a boyfriend, she may not be getting any from him. Either way, she's made it clear that she does not intend to take it any further than it is.She loves her boyfriend and wants to be with him, but she just needs a little reassurance that she is still desirable. Good Luck with this one.

Answer 9

She likes your company and is very comfortable with you. However, she's attached and good thing is you're not going for it. If you have interest in her as well, make sure she's fully over and ready for a new relationship with you. Time is needed. Be patient. Otherwise, invest more time with other girls who are singles.

Answer 10

I have a similar thing, except for the phone thing. But she is nice and all, and she has a boyfriend... I know it is a friend thing with me and her though.

So, it is just a friend thing from the way I see it. She likes you, but doesn't love you in the boyfriend way, but as a friend way (maybe even as "best"?).

Answer 11

i hate that crap. i hate when guys have gf's but they use me as their shoulder and talk about their relationship like it's something they're just in out of obligation or like they're forcing themselves to have this gf. i don't know if they're trying to have me on the side or if they want me to tell them to dump their gf for me so that i can be the ***** bcuz they don't have the balls to get out of a crappy relationship on their own. just blow her off and go out with single girls not the kind w/ issues.