I come from a culture where it is always the men initiating their interests in women. Women always wait for the man to ask her out and the farthest that we can go is flirt and hope that the other party gets the message. I need inputs here. How does men feel when it is the woman who initiates asking him out and showing interest in him? I went out with a guy from a totally different culture from mine a couple of times a couple of years ago, I find him so attractive and I know he was attracted to me too; he has expressed interest in me, he said he wanted us to know each other better, but I just would always be the waiting party, hoping but not initiating. I am not prude at all, I responded to his sweetness and we kissed lightly, I am just conservative. I could have had sex with him if only he initiated. But after a month of dating he just stopped calling and seeing me. Was it because of what I was not which he could have misinterpreted as passive?
2006-09-09 17:56:54 · 8 answers · asked by marisu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When two cultures collide there is often confusion. Trust me as I am American and my girlfriend is Japanese. In Japan it is normal to see your girlfriend once a week. In America this is sure sign of cheating. It bugged me to no end we would meet to eat at a restaurant and then she would go home.
I started to think that there was something wrong with me. I tried everything I could think of.
Then one day I just sat down and had a heart to heart. I told her that this relationship was a little difficult for me because I am so culturally out of my depth. So I want to talk more about what you expect and tell you what I expect. It's been 6years and we are still together.
Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Talk to the person and let them know how you feel. Learning from another cultural context can be so exciting, thrilling, scary, and yet worth it.
2006-09-09 18:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by Attacus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i imagine it truly is wonderful. My sister did it very almost a month in the past- with the help of TEXTING him! He suggested convinced. The date is determined for July. various people might want to assert that you're too youthful to even imagine about it. I disagree. the surely reason i'll make certain for waiting till you're older is to be autonomous for a lengthy time period for travelling or something like that. I married at age 19, and had 2 little ones with the help of the time i replaced into 21. This June i'd were married 15 years. the significant suggestion i might want to provide you with about marriage is: there'll be united statesand downs. you'll strive against. there'll be days you don't love one yet another very a lot. do no longer ignore that those circumstances are surely temporary. There are sturdy circumstances on the different part of those seasons. do not supply up. See it by to the different part, and your relationship will be more suitable and more desirable proper. Love isn't a feeling- that's a dedication to look after someone even if you experience in love or no longer. do not strive against to be proper, to win or to be heard- strive against for the relationship. the proper ingredient you may want to do on your relationship is to ask God into it. I want you all the proper! bypass for IT!
2016-11-25 23:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by garling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am traditional in a lot of senses but I think this is ridiculous. If you want to spend time with someone then it is foolhardy not to ask them out.
My wife is from Vietnam and a traditional family. When I met her I was going through a divorce, I would have never asked her or anyone else out. Thank God she did because she is the best thing to ever happen to me.
2006-09-09 18:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's ok to ask a guy out or tell them your feelings but be prepared if you do!! He may reject you, say no, or just disappear forever. I'd say just keep playing it cool maybe even make a little sexual joke about you two and see how he reacts. Don't be afraid to initiate touching kissing yourself maybe that's what he was wishing would happen, but above all honor yourself and make your decisions wisely.
2006-09-09 18:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by BOISE_DD 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seeing as how I don't know you're culture I would want to to recommend something that might be offensive to you or your culture, but speaking from a American city-dweller perspective, I love it when a girl is forward. It shows she has character and takes the pressure off of me. I would go for it if I were you!
2006-09-09 18:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by quickblur 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what feels right.
Don't feel bound by what you think you should do, what you think he should do, what your culture dictates, etc.
All that does is create bizarre mixed signals which are very hard to decipher.
Just go with your heart and see what happens. If you are upfront and honest you will have more success.
2006-09-09 18:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes
keep in mind we live in a open world
everyone is on there own
tradtional value such as men initiating interest are dead
womne wanted equality
and now they got their oppotunities in more than one avenue
if you want this guy and want sex
then go for it
why would you care what anyone thinks?
after all it YOUR happiness and not theirs
2006-09-09 18:00:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop ranting on about it and ask him out. Bet you he's flattered
2006-09-09 18:01:19 · answer #8 · answered by Bob Bob 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋