I didn't particularly get too upset when my daughter was younger and would go out and shoot some baskets sometimes because I thought it might just be a fad. However, now that is 12 and a young lady, she doesn't need to be doing this kind of thing. I feel that sports are a guy thing and the girls that are into sports are mostly he-she's that absolutely disgust me. I want my daughter to be a lady, not some butch woman. She really wants to go out sometimes and be able to play basketball with the guys, but I have told her that it is time to grow up and don't even think about becoming a tom boy. She is kind of hurt right now and is giving me the silent treatment. What should I do?
2006-09-09 17:13:32 · 41 answers · asked by Sandstorm222 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't want to give you the impression that she is a tom boy because she isn't. I am just trying to prevent her from becoming a she-man.
2006-09-09 17:14:44 · update #1
Dad you need to join theee 20th century. I say cheer her on and support her. I spent my youth in trees, on horses and driving tractors and I'm no he she as you can see by my picture. Your daughter is an individual and by forbidding her from being who she is she will only grow up resentful.You can't make her be who you want no matter what you do.
2006-09-09 17:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by missmoon_1953 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with a girl playing basketball. She may even make money from it some day. Times have changed just because she enjoys the sport of basketball doesn't make her a tom boy, or even if she is as long as she's happy and doing something she enjoys that's keeping her out of trouble. Watch the move Love and Basketball. There a plenty of girls/women playing sports that were once know dominated by men.
My sister played basketball growing up and only hung out with the fellows. Girls keep up to much sh.., she's not butch nor a tom boy, she just likes basketball. It's not worth you fighting over there are worse things she could be doing.
2006-09-09 17:24:32 · answer #2 · answered by sneeky one 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should let your daughter play basketball. A lady can still be able to do sports. Women don't turn into men unless they undergo a very serious operation. You should encourage your daugther to be active and sporty because it's healthy for her.
If you keep pushing this idea that you have to somehow prevent your daughter from doing what she loves, you are only going to earn a lot of resentment from her. You cannot mold your children into what you want them to be. The sooner you realize that the better the relationship you will have with your children.
And in my personal opinion as a guy, any woman who's too much of a lady to run around a little and get sweaty isn't worth a second look. I'm very sad that you want to destroy your daughter's love for sports. I honestly hope you don't succeed.
My best wishes to your daughter.
2006-09-09 17:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by Magina 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can think of a lot of things that your daughter could get into that are a lot more undesirable than playing basketball. Drugs for instance. I see this basketball thing as a great way to bond with your daughter. There is an advertisement on the television for a program of lessons for parents to help teach their children how to play basketball. In fact, I heard their commercial shortly before I started this message to you. I understand it was put together by some of the best basketball players around these days.
I think you might want to spring for the C.D. a basketball and hoop, and you've got a great way to bond with your daughter, and keep her away from a lot of negative activity. Start by inviting her to go along with you to shop for the ball and hoop.(if you don't have them). If you are physically able, help her with the drills and things the C.D. recommends.(PS. I have nothing to do with the C.D. It just seemed to me to be a great idea). You might want to get the whole family involved. A neat way to get some exercise.
Sandy Claws
2006-09-09 17:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by SANDY CLAWS 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
playing basketball doesn't really mean she is going to mean she is a les. i mean yeah a tom-boy is usually a phase which she most likely grow out of. [ i mean think about it in a few years she will see girls with guys that have more than a basketball between them and going out with each other] if you want to keep her "feminine" side take her shopping or doing her nails. so then she can get the idea too that it's good to be a little more than the all star girl basketball star but also a "girl". and you get your side of happiness that your daughter is somewhere else but the court. just don't take her away from something that makes her happy. since it will hurt her now and even later on when she grows up. and fighting and giving silent treatment not going to help ANYTHiNG. just try to balance everything out.
2006-09-09 18:26:51 · answer #5 · answered by labiba_saysz 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My dad told me I couldn't climb trees, do sports, play with legos, or become a scientist because I'm female. I totally disagree. Playing sports makes girls have higher self-esteem and better body image. It also teaches them about team playing, important in the workplace. Instead I grew up worrying about being fat (because I wasn't allowed to do sports I did have a weight problem and no muscle tone) and had a lower overall self-image. What about Anna Kournikova, Sharapova, Gabrielle Reece (volleyball), Mia Hamm (soccer) and all those feminine atheletes? Wouldn't you rather have her playing basketball than wearing too much makeup, starving herself, and boning some dumb a@@ guy in the bushes of the rec center because she is told to only worry about appearances? My 7 year old daughter does Brazilian jiujitsu and ballet, because we want her to be able to kick someone's behind as well as look graceful and pretty. It will give your daughter confidence and strength-- if she's already "butch" then that's the way she was made, playing sports won't make her that way!
2006-09-09 17:21:06 · answer #6 · answered by shrinkydinkheart 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My oldest loved basketball from the time she was 10. She played piano, was kind, and had beautiful long hair. She did like to wear basketball shorts and t-shirts though until she got into high school. She played basketball all through high school, and turned into a lovely young woman.
The sports kept her in shape with all the conditioning.
My 17 year old played from middle school up to sophomore. She is the kind of young women that the boys fall over themselves for.
My 12 year old is wanting to try playing now that she is in Jr. High. She is tall and shapely, cute and smart.
I never played sports myself, but I encouraged them in whatever they wanted to try, learning about it myself so I could understand what they were doing and go out and watch what they were doing.
My point is that sports are a good thing. They kept the girls in shape and out of trouble. They developed social skills dealing with other girls (which isn't always easy!) They weren't she-men, but the opposite. When picture day came for the team, they all had their hair curled and their make-up on. All of them were lovely young women.
2006-09-11 20:33:32 · answer #7 · answered by ewema 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH MY GOD!!!!!! What an *** you are!!! I was a tom boy who loved to do nothing but play sports with the guys(that was my only choice in my male only family). I am now 30 and will have you know that I am very much a lady with the thigh high skirts, tight blue jeans, down to there shirts....and still don't mind getting into t-shirt and shorts and gettin' hot and sweaty playing whatever. Let the girl play basketball if she wants to. I try to get my daughter to but she's not interested so I let it be. Get over it!!!
2006-09-09 17:27:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was very into sports at her age...basketball, hockey, and soccer...12 is awfully young (puberty may or may not have hit her yet) and i think you are forgetting that soon enough she will truly be a young woman and be interested in boys...not every girl who plays sports is a lesbian!! Perhaps she already has a crush on one of the boys she is playing sports with? i say that not to make you worry but to make you think.
I also think you should read up on the value of sports..especially for girls...they are more likely to have good grades, refuse drugs and build self esteem, and get some much needed exercise (have you seen how many overweight girls there are?!)
It is also a way for you to connect with her.(Shoot hoops with her)..find out what is going on in her life...someday, before you know it...you will want to know and she won't tell you...i beg you to reconsider.....
I love sports and don't do it near enough...i'm older now with 2 kids and a spouse to take care of...and I'm very feminine..despite my love of "the game"
2006-09-09 17:30:33 · answer #9 · answered by Chef Susy--Cookin it up! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand that as a parent you want to protect your child..however your daughter has a HEALTHY hobby that keeps her active and is probably one of the best buffers of drug abuse, it would probably keep her in school and being in sports helps grades while your in school due to the fact that if you dont have good grades they wont let you play.
I think that understanding that not all women who play sports 'are butch' ..I think that is an unfair assessment and I think that supporting a healthy hobby like basketball would benefit her waaaay more than making her feel like she's nothing because she likes to play sports. Most girls want to play sports just to be active and have fun..and who knows..maybe she's really good at it and thats a great accomplishment.
She will be in high school one day..and then she'll be an adult..she'll remember more if you support her than make her feel stupid for wanting to be active.
It almost seems as though you're a tad insecure about your life. I think your daughter is perfectly fine.
2006-09-09 17:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by la_la_kat 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You @sshole! I'm 12 and I'm on the basketball team and on the field hockey team. I run with my guy friends and I beat them by 15 seconds. I play football and guess what I'm a girl too. That must be driving you crazy huh? Well guess what? This is the 21st century and women can do anything a man as pig headed as yourself can!
2006-09-10 15:49:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋