The Behaviors of a Person From Another Country/Culture R Offensive 2 You but Natural 2 Them. What Do You Do?

Question

Examples: U can hear them slurping coffee in the NEXT ROOM! They hv a habit of staring rudely and nosily at other ppl in public & at U when UR speaking to someone else. Their personal space limit is not like the typical American limit (which is about an arm's length) & they stand two inches from YR face with speaking with U (even if you are female and they are male)? These things appear 2 U 2 be universal within this person’s culture b/c Y've observed many others from the same country doing the same things. BTW these are just a few of the things that are driving me bananas! That said, is it their responsibility 2 know the rules of our culture when they relocate 2 the USA or is it our responsibility to inform them of these cultural rules? FYI before I trvld out of the US I read "Do's and Taboos Around The World" by Roger Axtell. However if a person is in the US from a mostly illiterate cntry can they be expected 2 know/care about our cultural rules? What would U do in these situations?

Ha Ha thanks for your answer but if you come to the country that I am in why do I automatically have to "deal with" your ignorance of my cultural rules? If I go to Japan I'm not going to go around shaking people's hands and getting 2 inches from their faces. In their country people rarely touch in public and the standard distance with talking is about three feet. Why would I go there and offend them like that and expect them to just "deal with" my ignorance?

Answer 1

I agree! But what to do is a mystery to me as well. I shop at a particular grocery store where there's man who would sweep up and down the isles while you shop. He would never say excuse me, infact wouldnt even acknowlegde your presence much less smile. I would have to move out of his way and I would say "oh, sorry" Then I would think to myself"what the hell am I appologizing for" this happened many times finally I called and spoke to a manager..I never once mentioned his nationality and she used it for an excuse...I went on to tell her my family came from Europe as well but where NEVER rude so I didnt buy it..Anywho, he's gone so apparently Im not the only one who got his rudeness. I guess as for the close talkers ask them to please step back. For those who stare, I guess you can politely ask them if there is something they needed...you know, bring it to their attention they are staring. Some may not be doing it to be rude but I know what you mean about all the situations mentioned,,,,there is alot of a certain "eastern European" group around here .......yep, I know what you mean sistah! Hang in there and just try to be a good person and realize, to heck with everyone else, right?

Answer 2

I think they should at least try to find out some things about what our culture is. When I moved to Japan, I read up on their customs and culture. Like one thing I really had a hard time with was, in Japan blowing on your food is considered rude, BUT slurping your food is NOT rude. Like eating ramen the Japanese slurp up the noodles to help cool it off, an American would blow on it tho. In public I tried to do it the proper (Japanese) way. There were several more things....like instead of shaking hands (which they will do that) they bow....the older the person you are greeting the deeper the bow...westerners were not expected to do this, BUT myself and my husband both did this out of respect for their customs and culture. And when you show respect for the culture and customs of the country you are in....you tend to make a very nice lasting impression.
As for someone getting right in my face while talking to me....I would definitely take a few steps back, and if I was quite friendly with them I would tell them to get out of my space....lol.

Answer 3

If their behavior is only annoying, such as the slurping or staring, I think you should overlook it. However, if they are interfering with your way of life, you have to address it. For example, people in Mexico don't flush their toilet paper. They wipe and then throw it in the trash. This is unacceptable here in the USA since it results in a foul smelling restroom. In this case, you have to teach the newcomer how we do things in our country without being disrespectful.

Answer 4

Well the way I see it is to educate them in the ways of an American. I'm sure that they wouldn't be offended by some helpful suggestions, as long as you are polite. It's true, your culture is very different from some of those overseas. Since they are living in America, wouldn't they be enthusiastic about behaving like one?

Answer 5

You could respectfully explain that here in America there are certain cultural norms that are different from theirs, and what exactly it is that bothers you. If they can cope with this constructive criticism, not only will your relations with them improve, but you will have helped them interact with some people who are not as tactful and thoughtful as you, so you will have helped them in the long run.

If they cannot accept what you are explaining to them, then try to avoid them when you can.

Answer 6

This is what I find offensive from illegal immigrants its courtesy of Renegade

Sep 6, 2006 02:10 PM EST

One dead, seven injured in crash while fleeing Border Patrol

Border Patrol finds 56 pounds of cocaine hidden in vehicle

Mexican man gets prison sentence in human smuggling case

One dead, seven injured in crash while fleeing Border Patrol

Pro-illegal-immigrant protests haven't produced surge of new voters

Anti-illegal-immigrant rally draws 900 supporters, 100 opponents in Phoenix

Mexican deported 7 times pleads not guilty to illegal re-entry

Minutemen prepare to build high-tech fence

One man died and seven other people were hurt early Wednesday when their vehicle crashed in southeast Tucson while fleeing U.S. Border Patrol agents and Tohono O'odham police, authorities said.
A Border Patrol agent spotted a stolen Dodge Durango at about 4 a.m. in, Agent Jesus Rodriguez said.
The agent suspected the vehicle was hauling illegal immigrants or drugs and tried to pull it over.
The driver sped away, and the agent turned off his lights and sirens and followed the SUV while calling reservation police.
The SUV hit a dip and rolled on Mission Road south of Valencia, Rodriquez said.
Besides the fatally injured man, four men and three women were injured, and all were taken to hospitals for treatment.
Their identities and extent of injuries were not immediately available.

I of course dont want to see anyone die but
these illigel acts must be stopped.
Maybe they are "cultural" but they are illigel lawlessness to me.

Answer 7

Politely inform them of your culture. So far it doesnt sound like a cultural background issue though.It sounds like a personal issue.
I would simply say would you mind giving me a bit of room I am not used to people standing so close to me.
Done politely, they will not be offended.

Answer 8

Depression and Low Self-Esteem

Answer 9

Ask them politely to stop that and just explain. However, don't be offensive, and offer to learn about their culture outside of the office with their family. (That way you both learn something).

Answer 10

Gotta let them know that what they're doing is considered rude and unacceptable... but be polite about it. No yelling and screaming... that doesn't work. Ask them nicely to stop what they are doing... OR GET THE HECK OUT OF THE COUNTRY!!!!!