Questions to Asian Men?

Question

As unfortunate as it is for Asian men, they are at the bottom of the ladder in the dating market particularly in English speaking Western hemisphere. Asian men's lack of success in getting a girlfriend no doubt affects and translates over to other areas of life. One of the obvious reason being that being approved and recongnized by a female is most potent source for creating a postive male image for most men regardless of what race the man is.
However, there are Asian men who are able to have relationship with non-Asian women (namely, Caucasian women). Such would be the "exception", and they are still rare. Very rare. From my observation, majority of such Asian men who are able to get a white girlfriend are those who were born in America, Australia or other Western country, and who speak English as their native language with no Asian accent (most times such Asian men don't speak their parents' Asian language.) Is my observation correct? Can anyone give Asian men, who do not

speak English as a native speak some tips or encouragement about reaching outside of Aisan community as successfully finding non-Asian mate? Of all inter-racial relationships, the kind I am speaking of has most obstacles, but it can be done even though it may not be easy for most Asian men,

I know this is a VERY DEVISIVE issue, and some Asian men will find to be ridiculous. I remain to be very impersonal not that anyone on the blog cares or matters. Let me also point out that for Caucasian men to find an Asian spouse, they do not have to gain fluency in Asian language, because they have built-in advantage whereas for Asian men to find a Caucasian women, they HAVE TO gain fluency in English. All such sore issues can be vehemently argued about.
My desire is that I'd like to see more Asian brothers with non-Asian mates. For that to happen, it will take more time, however it has to start NOW. My question is how can Asian men reach out of their Asian community to find a non-Asian mate since their own women are abandoning them in millions, Asian men finding a non-Asian mate has become a necessitiy. I am only seeking encourging tip for the benefit of Asian men.

I meant, some Asian "women", not Asian "men" will find my question ridiculous. Sorry for the typo.

Answer 1

great encouragement. by the way, i'm asian and i'd dated many ethnic backgrounds. if asian men think always as the bottom of the to tum pole, then my brothers, there is no way you can succeed. it's how other see you. if you are full of confident, witty, and fun to hangout with, color of our skin will fade away. not only for my race but for others also. if people willing to judge me for my ethnic background, my brothers, it's their problem, not yours.
be proud of who you are and only the wise, will see beyond color.

Answer 2

Asian men appear very shy, which makes it difficult to get girls. Even when girls approach Asian men, they shy away, only staying with their own race.
If asian men acted more confidently, there will be more women interested in them. I don't believe taking English would improve their lack of confidence.

Answer 3

My experience and I am not an Asian man. Is that getting out of the country helps. Learning other cultures help a lot. Right now I am in Japan and you can be sure that most of the Asian guys that are not western by birth that have western girlfriends usually have been out of their own country.

Yes I do have an Asian girlfriend and yes my nihongo wa heta desu. My Japanese is horrible at best. Current rise in Asian superstars should be giving a boost to Asian males. The next thing is just being yourself.

Answer 4

I'm Caucasian, my hubby is Asian (S. Korea)... I realize that what you've noticed about Asian men is true...for the most part. However, in my experience, at least in Korea, the men there are so tied to their culture that they won't part company with their own race. A lot has to do with humongous cultural barriers (ie. VERY CONTROLLING MOTHER-IN-LAWS!!!!!) Yup, they don't like to leave the 'comfort zone' of their own families! May I say I'm SOOOO lucky to have found a very open-minded, warm, loving, sensitive Asian hubby who doesn't play the 'cultural game' in marriage.

I know, I know...you wanted only men to answer. ^^

Answer 5

If you do NOT only stay within your culture, your circle of friends will reach others. Don't get so hung up on your concerns over your own race and your precieved disadvantages. Meet and talk with all others.

If I may be so honest.... you sound very pity. I am thinking, your attitude toward your own being is very noticable in your everyday life. If you are having problem in relationships, you really need to look at yourself, and think, would I want to date myself...

There are some element of truth in what you said, but why worry about things you can NOT change? Think about what you CAN change and move forward.

Answer 6

your wrong on the positive image and recongnition from women to define a man, really wrong on that one.. it might be for you or your Asian pals.. but for most men self confidence GETs the girl, not the other way around. Asian men are perceived as weak, those who are successful are sought after by whites and others. But most Asian men are coddled by there mothers and as such are soft spoken and do not seem like they have the manly characteristics desired by all women. Your arguement are very simliar to what Black men say as do Hispanics.. in the end it falls back to them and there attitude with sucess of dating. You simply cannot have 100% sucess with all women, just a every women will not have the guy she wants, it comes down to looks, confidence, level of education, drive in life, suscess in life, philosophy in life. Those who wallow in self pity are genrally low acheivers and have self image issues that are often brought on by there doting mothers who never really let there son be a man. on his own. Asian values also play a role with respect ot what is expect, accepted of their sons with repsect to carrer and marriage. It 's a tought thing to truly call you own path in life with that type of burned placed on you.. and Budda help you if you fail.

Answer 7

I don't understand. How can you compare apples to apples when there are more oranges around? If you were living in China would your question make sense? Obviously you are either Caucasian or an Asian with poor self esteem. You are living in the United States which percentage wise has more "white" people than other minorities. So how can you say that Asian Men don't date more Asian Women when there aren't many to choose from unless they go to Asia?

Answer 8

very accurate observation...i am one. LOL Would rather personally befriend

Kudos to you...being able to communicate on the level, knowing what's what, and how things work. Being in a Western or Western-influenced country for many decades does wonders

Later Days...

Answer 9

Maybe you should watch this short film on YouTube.

Its about why asian girls date caucasian guys but caucasian girls don't date asian guys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_edce8uccAc

It is not a scientific approach, but it is very entertaining.

Answer 10

maybe for east asians, but not true for southeast asian. We don't have a problem in the interracial dating scene.