No, I don't think he is an abuser. He is just fine, but I just don't like leaving my daughter with him or anyone else. She is 2 and I also have a 10 yrs old boy and 12 yr. old stepson, and since they are older it doesn't bother me too much to leave them with someone, but my daughter is a whole other ballgame. I refuse to leave her with my husband even if I am just going to the grocery store. She is a major mama's girl and I am afraid that she will cry while I am gone. I never allow anyone to have her in a car, except my hubby. I am afraid that they might have a wreck and the paramedics wouldn't know that was my baby or that she wouldn't make it and I wouldn't be there holding her. I really terrifies me to be away from her for very long. I have to be away from her when I go to work, but that is about it. Other than that, I am with her. I let her sleep with me at least 3-4 nights a week, just so I can be close to her, in case she needs me. I was like this when my son was little too.
2006-09-09 16:20:35 · 11 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You are just trying to be a good mom . When my son was 2 weeks old unfortunatly I had to go into the hospital so he started staying with grandma at first it was just while I was in the hospital the she started asking for him and I wound up in the hospital again a month later so I could not say no unless I am in the hospital but I still worry the same things . First make sure all car seats have the ID sticker on it so they know who the baby is . and try rideing with the people you would like to let the baby ride with sometime and see how you trust there driveing maybe then you will feel alittle better . I spend almost all my time with my babys I even stay at home instead of working cause I do not trust day cares or baby sitters . I really need to work on it though and I know how you feel . Good Luck and if you wanna email me brandi.smiles@yahoo.com
2006-09-09 16:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by brandi.smiles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though I can understand your concerns... I think it's wrong of you to behave like this. Unless you fear for her safety (because he's unbalanced), there's no reason why her father can't be responsible for her. After all, it took the both of you to create her life. Does he know you feel this way? I can't imagine him being okay with this attitude... unless he doesn't care to act as her father. This can also effect your daughter emotionally. Kids are very acute... and can pick up nuances in your attitude and start behaving like you. Be careful that you don't make your daughter feel insecure... because you do. Your daughter needs to learn independence... and making her into a mama's girl isn't necessarily a good thing. If she cries while you're gone... it's because you have created that between the two of you. I'm not being mean towards you... I just don't think your outlook is a healthy one.
You said you're separated from her during work. Who's caring for her then? If daycare, do you really think they're more capable than your husband? I think you need to discuss these feelings either with your husband or with a counselor to see why you feel this way.
2006-09-09 23:41:25 · answer #2 · answered by VixenMom 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I share your concerns with my own children. I have six children, four of them girls. My oldest daughter is 30 and my youngest is 11. My other two girls are 29 and 24. My sons are 23 and 17. All while my children were small, and even now with my 11 year old daughter, I did not entrust them to the care of anyone else, particularly baby sitters or child care providers. I worked nights as a nurse, while my children slept, and under the care of no one but their father. Even then I worried. Working nights allowed me to be home with my children during their waking hours, and to be available to attend home-school meetings, field trips with my kids, be with them at mealtimes and tuck them into bed at night. I don't think I am overprotective, or neurotic, but I genuinely worried about my children, and I think this is only natural for us as mothers. These days, some mothers spend far too little time with their children, and those precious few years fly by, never to be re-captured again. God bless you!
2006-09-09 23:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by brendalyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To a certain point I can understand but to not trust your hubby, seems a bit unreasonable.... Unless there are reasons for it...
Also, as far as the sleeping arrangement... Later on this will become a problem for your and your hubby's privacy.... And not to mention you are going to make her too dependent on you... And when it "the sleeping has to change", she will have a more difficult time adjusting to the change...
You need to instill in her qualities of trust that you will still be there when you are apart or you will have her feeling very insecure.
As far as not wanting to leave her with anyone else , I can understand but having said that, work on building confidence in her and also reflect it in yourself for the both of you.
2006-09-09 23:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by Not Spoiled Just Loved♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are letting your feelings go wild. My personal opinion is that if you can not trust your husband with your kids,any or all of them, for that matter, then you have trust problems, and there might be something wrong in your marriage. I would be worried if my hubby had not noticed this by now and confronted me. I understand its your baby, but you can not smother her or she will have real life problems in the future. You need to be careful.
2006-09-09 23:33:38 · answer #5 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wrong that you won't let your husband watch your child. With that said...I understand what you mean. I will not leave our son with anyone--other than my husband. He was gone for the first four months--he was deployed--and it took me a long time to let me leave our son with him. I would wonder if he'd know how to comfort him and take care of him. I still get a little nervous and worry when they go out alone in the car. BUT--I still let him do it. He messes up sometimes, but still deserves time alone with our son. Personally, I think you need to let your daughter go--it's important, not only for you but most importantly for her. We should raise our children not to be dependent but independent--even at an early age.
2006-09-09 23:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your motherly instinct is very strong,there's nothing wrong with that I'm like that too. However eventually you need to let go bit by bit and it will get easier when she's bigger and can tell you what she did while you were out. Dont stress but you do need to let her bond with other people especially her dad.
2006-09-10 09:21:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get over your mistrust. If you can't trust your own husband with his child then there is a serious problem somewhere.
2006-09-10 08:10:43 · answer #8 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I trust my kids father with them 100 %......... My daughter is also a mommy's girl , but, her dad does watch her..........
2006-09-10 15:08:36 · answer #9 · answered by crazy2have3kids 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are one self centered ,paranoid person that is doing a great injustices to your daughter and alienating your other children. you need medical help A.S.A.P.
2006-09-09 23:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋