I have a special needs child, he has autism and epilepsy along with 8 other diagnosis. My question is we are having alot of behavioral issues with him. We have tried time outs, spanking, etc. We have also tried 123 magic and love and logic to no avail. We even had behavioral resource teams to come in and try and help but they even dont know what to do. Where can i turn? He is only 5 years old and is already out of control, i am scared of what he will be like at 10, 15. I dont want no one to get hurt or for him to hurt himself. My son does not feel pain and therefore is more aggressive than he realizes. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
2006-09-09 16:18:25 · 21 answers · asked by baby j 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
For those of you telling me how horrible and wrong it is to spank my child, I have this to say. When your child comes to this level of misbehavior you will try anything to see if you can just find something that might even help just a little. And for those of you who are being so judgemental of me several doctors are actually the ones who told me to try this and to see what happened. So I do have my reasons, so dont be so quick to judge.
2006-09-13 03:02:36 · update #1
Have you tried any Sensory Intergration work with him? (OT/PT) -- Children with autism have difficulty processing the world around them, and when they are frustrated, this can lead to lashing out and other behavior issues. The root is helping your son deal with frustration and other triggers in a more positive way, and doing OT/PT therapy with a person who is an expert not only with sensory integration but with Autism too, might help.
Depending on his level of autism, typical behavior mod (time out, even 123 Magic) might not phase him if he doesn't have a context to know what is "approved" behavior. This isn't to say that behavior mod can't work -- but you really need to understand what happens to put him over the edge, and see if something in his day to day life can't be changed a bit. For example, if he he has issues with transitions (even just to stop one activity to do something that is "expected" like dinner or leaving the house) -- giving him a signal (whatever would be most appropriate -- such as a timer) to let him know it's time to change what he is doing might help.
My son is not autistic, but does have some sensory integration issues (auditory processing, among others), and I've read a lot about SI since finding this out a year ago, and there is a lot out information out there about Autistic children having Sensory Integration issues (as well as children diagnosed with ADD/ADHD).
If I knew when he was 3 what I know now (he's 6), there would have been a lot of things I would have changed on how I dealt with him when he had issues (especially bath time with was an utter battle). We tried everything. If I had known that he had issues with sensory stimulation, I would have done things a lot differently.
2006-09-09 16:40:44 · answer #1 · answered by kaliselenite 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Wow both your child and you have alot on your plate. My oldest son is Autistic and ADHD along with other diagnosis as well. What are some of the other diagnosis? Is Sensory Integration a problem? He has so much going on. If he is not able to properly receive the messages being sent to him, verbally, and physically, it could be a sensory problem. I would take him to a specialist in child behavior and consult with them, take him to a therapist so he has someone no judgemental to talk to, and I would have his sensory system tested to see if there was a problem processing information. I would try my darndess to be consistant with whatever disciple system I put in place and not run to a new type everytime it seemed to fail. Repitition is key. Good luck. Also try going to some support groups for the different diagnosis and talk to other parents to see if they've had simular experiances and how they handled them.
2006-09-10 05:57:36 · answer #2 · answered by puzzleraspie 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't have a special needs child, but I had a unique opportunity to work with a class of 6 children 2 summers in a row. The kids ages ranged from 3 - 6 and each one was different. One little boy seemed to have so much anger - to the point that I thought he must be possessed! One day we were singing and he bolted from the circle and when I caught him, his eyes were wild and he was thrashing around so much that I was afraid he may hurt himself. I sat down, pulled him into my lap and began whispering a prayer into his ear. In about 30 seconds he became limp and just snuggled deeper into my arms. I truly believe that children can be in need of divine intervention at times like these. God created your son and He knows better than anyone what he needs - ask Him for wisdom! Speak words of love to your son when he is out of control! I hope the best for you - God bless!
2006-09-09 16:29:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I understand what you're going through. I have a 10 y/o mentally-disabled daughter with many of the same issues. Behavioral problems, doesn't feel pain like a normal person, aggression, attacks her brothers and sister...yeah, I understand. The therapist's were the same for my little girl: don't know what to do. I can tell you spanking will NOT help unless the child can comprehend what he did wrong to begin with & understand that he should not have done it. In fact, spanking a disabled child is more likely to make it worse. Time outs help to a degree, but with a disabled child, depending on their mental age level, you can't keep them in time-out for very long. My daughter goes for 1-2 minutes. That's more effective than when we tried to put her in time-out for 5-10 minutes.
With my child, she does much better in very calm, controlled, environments and on schedules. A very difficult thing for me to accept was realizing that I could not provide everything she needed, such as 24/7 supervision, etc. Her doctor's encouraged me for years to put her in a home for disabled children. I was so against it for years until I just couldn't do it anymore and keep her & her sibling safe. In May, we put my daughter into a home. For the first couple months, I cried all the time and felt like I "abandoned" her, even though I can see her anytime and we can bring her home anytime. Now, as we are all starting to adjust, I realize that for the first time in 10 years, I can have a life of my own too. I remember after she moved the relief I felt that I could go to the restroom without worrying or take a shower whenever I wanted, instead of having to wait until she was asleep. I KNOW exactly what your life is right now. EVERYTHING revolves around your child. When my child is at home, we keep her focused on her favorite activities, puzzles, computer games (Toontown.com is wonderful), going outside to swing, coloring, practicing writing her name, etc. Whatever your child's favorite activities are. It helps.
I'm not saying putting your child in a home is the only solution. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. The hardest thing you will ever do is to trust somebody else with your child who cannot speak or defend him or herself. But I am so glad we did it. Now, when I visit with my daughter or bring her home on the weekend, I can enjoy my time with her. I was not able to do that before because I was frustrated and exhausted all the time. If it's something that you're interested in, talk to your child's pediatrician to point you in the right direction to start inquiring about homes. I can tell you that the waiting list is extremely long so the sooner you start the better, even if you're not ready right now. It took almost 4 years for a space to become available for my daughter and her behavior continued to worsen during that time.
Best of luck to you and your family. I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make.
2006-09-09 16:53:38 · answer #4 · answered by jude89 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have cared for many special needs children, and your little boy indeed has many involved medical issues. I am so opposed to spanking, but know my views are not always agreed with.
Can you reason with him at all? Does he respond to negative responses as well as positive?
It is scary, and getting some form of control is vital to your health,
your families, and especially your son's.
I knew one child who had to be held in a strong man's arms til he
would be able to be calmed down, it was hard, and a long process but we saw success, he was autistic and had grand -mal seizures.
I am sure this is very hard, and my heart goes out to you,
I have only met a few kids that were unable to be reached.
I wish I could help you more.....
I am sure with much patience, and strength, consequences to actions though that is hard to follow through with.....you will see small steps of improvement.
Give your son's name...so people can pray for you all, too!
God Bless.....
2006-09-09 16:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My 9 year old has ADHD and Epilepsy and I have 14 year old twin nephews and one of them is ADHD, Autistic, and Suffers Depression the other has ADHD and is very aggressive with my sister who is raising them by herself. I have my 9 year old on Focalin XR. It has been working for her, we had her on 3 different meds before Focalin XR.
It has not mixed with the other medication she is on for her Epilepsy. So far she has not suffered from any side effects. What medication is he on for his Epilepsy. Have you tried the VNS for his Epilepsy? I found out the hard way that you can give all the love and attention you can but sometimes it doesn't always work and we have to turn to other avenues.
Also if you are getting SSI for him they are supposed to give you an advocate for him and they will get him/you any of the help you need through the state, the government, and will answer any questions you may have. If you are not getting SSI for him you need to.
2006-09-09 16:41:04 · answer #6 · answered by blestbrenfan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he taking medication? Probably huh, my brother is a special needs child and growing up with him I noticed when he took different medications he acted up. You are an extremely strong person (emotionally) and that is what it takes is you to be understanding and know there is not always something you can do for this behavior. Alot of times in our household we felt like we had no control but with time you learn to cope. In the middle of the chaos try singing a song or tell a rhyme. Be patient, my heart is with you.
2006-09-10 11:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by momma whitley 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first off hitting or spanking a child with special needs is the worst thing you can do for they do not under stand what thst means and they are not to be hitting back. My son has autism also. You must do the same thing everytime he does something for you are giving him mixed singles and with autism you must do things exact everytime no matter how hard it isfor you parenting is a pain. Every single time he whines or throws a fit he gets put in bed, if at a friends house he gets put in bed. no toys or pillows. maybe even sheets only so he has nothing to play with. Autistic kids have social problems so he may not be able to go out much. ( my son is 6)
Email me and we can talk more. I live in Neenah Wisconsin
2006-09-09 16:26:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you need to contact your sons doctor!!! this is a serious problem and there might be a med that your boy needs to be taking. I would suggest that if his doctor does not have a good answer then you get a second opinion!! My brother in law has alot of disorders, (He is 19 and had the mentality of a 5 year old) so i have seen alot of what you are talking about. I would definitely suggest doctors orders!!
2006-09-09 16:24:53 · answer #9 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-25 22:57:22 · answer #10 · answered by powel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋