If you received NO card and NO money from family and Parents, would you say something ? From my husbands side of his family, its disgusting, his sister couldnt save .99 cents for a card for her brother and brought her bf and her little girl ate; oh but a week later they go to a concert, give me a break! His aunt brings nothing, but a guest. for 4 people in his cousins famiy, they give 45 dollars and to top it all his parents gave no card no money, but yet they say it will be later, what a cop out. - disgusted
2006-09-09 16:07:07 · 22 answers · asked by mel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
To the person down below, i did not marry this man for his family's money, that was a stupid comment to make. its called not being rude, try it some time.
2006-09-09 16:35:21 · update #1
Jerks, i would say something. You don't go to a wedding and not bring some kind of gift, especially if its a family member. I wouldn't be mean or ask for money after the fact, but make sure that they know they need to bring a f*cking card to a wedding. :)
2006-09-09 16:47:52 · answer #1 · answered by bluechick 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I had the same luck at my wedding. One family of four left $25. One brides maid left nothing. Traditionally though, they have a year to give a gift. Seriously, I was torqued off about many gifts I received because I always left enough as if I was taking a date out for dinner and dancing and drinks. Unfortunately most people dont think like that. Just to add, I wrote down what everyone gave at our wedding and now when friends and family members get married I 'return the favor'. Cheers
2006-09-10 09:19:07 · answer #2 · answered by dirkdiggler9999 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel, an aunt and uncle of mine at our wedding gave us a card signed with their names and the names of their two adult boys. There was $20 in the card. That's $5 per person! When the one son got married a year later, not only did we stay home, we didn't send a gift. We don't see or talk to them much anymore, and I couldn't care less.
As galling as this is, you have to get over it. It's sucks, yes, but the important issue is that you are married, you love your husband, and you don't have to live with these people. Then wait and see if anybody actually comes through with things later on. Maybe in a month or so, you will see a nice gift from his parents or sister. Sometimes it is a real financial issue for a lack of gifts, or a poor quality gift.
Just talk to your husband about how offended you were by the rudeness of his family. While you don't have to point out everything you said here (he knows as well as you what they didn't give), you do need to let him know that you are unwilling to be treated like a stray dog that they have taken in out of the goodness of their hearts with no real love.
His family is his responsibility to talk to about this. It is up to him if he feels that they should have something said about their stingy tight-fisted ways. If he chooses to talk to them, he should take the stand of how disrespectful they were to you, and not about the money itself. Gifts are not required, but it's good etiquette. It was rude and insulting to you and your marriage.
If he chooses not to deal with this, then let it go. Make sure you tell him what boundries you feel are appropriate for these family members. Maybe you won't go out of your way when it's their turn for gifts, but you really should be the better person here. You have to decide what you want to do, and how you want the future to go with the relationships with these people. Find a way that you and your husband can agree on as to how to react. His parents and sister will probably be a big part of your lives, but his aunts, uncles, and cousins don't have to be. It's up to the two of you to find a middle ground on how to deal with his family (and yours, even though they weren't a problem this time, they probably will be in the future.)
2006-09-10 00:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Gosh, I would be just as mad as you are. I think it is disgusting that they come empty handed, or with an extra mouth to feed. They dont consider how much time and money you have spend to make this your magical day... I mean, a simple little card would suffice. I have my wedding coming up in 5 months and I know that there will be some people that will come empty handed and it makes me mad to think about it but what can you do - Uninvite them... I think you should just bite your tongue and accept that they are rude... Oh and for the person who answered that rediculous answer about her marrying for the money - GROW UP and smell the wedding bells... This question was about have manners/etiquette NOT about her wanting money!!!
2006-09-10 00:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
i kind of understand what u are saying but it kind of sounds like your expecting something and thats not what getting married is about.now they could have at least got a card with some kind of gift even if it wasnt money.that sounds really strange that the parents wouldnt get anything for u guys.some people are just rude that way i personally couldnt go to a wedding without a gift but they sound kind of white trash the way you described what had happened.do they have the money to give or are they in a bad way these are things you need to look at.so just be thankful that they put on a man on this earth that you love and you hopefully are going to spend the rest of your life with.congrats to you and your new husband
2006-09-10 00:06:34 · answer #5 · answered by queen4clewis 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is this about the money or the love you have for your new husband? We went $3,000.00 "in the hole" with our reception. Yet we did not let it get in the way of what was important- we were married!!! We were now starting a new life together.
As far as what people bring or don't bring- they are there in honor of your day, to help celebrate your love for each other.
I have attened many weddings and there were a few where some of the guest did not present an envelope or gift. Some just can not afford the event: shower gift, attire for wedding etc.
2006-09-09 23:37:41 · answer #6 · answered by just-me-asking-u 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Frist nobody has to give you a dime second 45 no matter how many people came is a gift and that should be respected all you've done is make yourself look like a greedy gold digger.I'm sorry but if I was your husbands family or your husband I'd tell you the truth of it.
2006-09-10 01:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Personally, I think the wedding should have been a celebration of your love. You should be happy that there were so many people there to share it with you; and quit worrying about what you DIDN'T get. These people are your family now as well as his. You're better off forgetting about it, and moving on with your life.
2006-09-10 03:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by kiki 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Have you forgotten why you married him? It wasn't for what you'd receive at the wedding, it was because you love him, right? Boo hoo, they didn't give you any money... so what? They gave you their blessing. They probably prayed for you guys and wish you nothing but happiness. And you're complaining about a card you didn't get? You're being ungrateful for what you did get... a wonderful man, who for some unknown reason, loves you and your material ways. Be grateful for that.
2006-09-10 03:13:59 · answer #9 · answered by DrkCrwlr 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
that's weird...i have been planning my wedding for 14 months....i have never thought about a card or a money card....is it just me...or is it that...
i am getting married...
i want you to come....
i want you to enjoy this special day with me...
i want you to eat the food i ordered,
i want to to get smashed at the reception....
I want you to have fun....
No Obligations...
I would hate to have a wedding where there is an obligation...I expect how much it will cost me...and that's what I am planning on spending...There is money set aside for extras if needed. But Honestly the thought of how much someone was going to put in a card for my wedding...embarrasses me... I know my family can't put anything in cards...but they will eat and enjoy them selves as much as anyone else...
Because on my card...I will put....
You are under no obligation to bring gifts,or gifts of money...but you are obligated to enjoys this wonderful day with,
The Bride and Groom
2006-09-10 02:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋