> Quickie #1
> One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a
>very sexy nightie.
> "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
> So he tied her up and went fishing.
> Quickie #2
>
> A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran
>into the house.
> She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
>pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
> The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
>mountain stuff?"
> "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
>
> Quickie #3
>
> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and
>the other is a husband.
>
> Quickie #4
>
> A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
> First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
> The optician showed him a card with the letters:
> 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
> "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
> "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>
> Quickie #5
>
> Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I
>must tell you all
> something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
> "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
>chardonnay."
>
> Quickie #6
>
> A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
>Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
> "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
>You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We
>need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're
>going to STICK!
> Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
>you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST
>your mind?
> Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
>Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
> The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
>think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
> The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
>when I'm driving."
>
> Quickie #7
>
> Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North
> Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
> On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
> That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
> On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
> That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
> On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
> The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years
2006-09-09 16:00:04 · 17 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Haha. Poor HERMAN. Sometimes I think of throwing my husband out, even though I still haven't won the lottery. But then again, he does make all the money, and I would be lost without him. Cause we all know, i could never make eggs properly without him yelling over my shoulder, just the same as he would never notice the speed limit signs without me.
2006-09-09 16:23:09 · answer #1 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nice 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ...... hehehehe
2006-09-10 06:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by ize 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my fav is 4, 5, and 6
2006-09-09 23:11:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i LOVE 4 6 and 7 they always have me cracking up!
2006-09-09 23:03:12 · answer #4 · answered by .oh snap.london bridge.oh snap. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love them all i give u a 10 for each one = 70
2006-09-09 23:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by mommy to be 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm having a quickie laugh!!
2006-09-09 23:04:11 · answer #6 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey you are cool thenx becose you make me to smile and the smile is an important ting ;)
2006-09-09 23:03:41 · answer #7 · answered by Catalina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha, #2 and #6 were the best!!
2006-09-09 23:30:29 · answer #8 · answered by chrystallec 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#7 is a good one.
2006-09-09 23:04:43 · answer #9 · answered by ezachowski 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lmao!! I love them, and so does everyone in my work team :)
2006-09-09 23:13:08 · answer #10 · answered by wookie_1699 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋