Anyone else hate doing things without your kids?

Question

Even when a coworker or friend wants me to go somewhere with them, or my husband wants to do something, I don't like going if I can't take my kids. Last fall I went to a convention and thought I was going to die being away from my kids for 3 days. When I think about being away from them on the weekend, considering I am away from them for about 11 hours a day during the week, I feel guilty. I think, what if something happened to them and I gave up those hours when I could have been with them, to go to the movies with a friend. I used to be a partier before I had kids so I kinda feel I had my free time to do what I wanted without them. A coworker was having a get together tonight, and I wouldn't go because kids were not invited. I see her for 9+ hours a day, so I wanted to be with my kids. Anyone else do the same? By the way, before anyone comments, they are in bed, thats why I am on here.

Did this first idiot even read my question? Honey, I know that your a kid, but I said "HATE DOING THINGS WITHOUT YOUR KIDS", not "WITH YOUR KIDS". Read the question next time!

Thank you Singing Blondie, for going back and actually reading the question. I am glad to see you changed your answer honey.

Answer 1

You go , girl!!
This is what a mom is suppose to feel.
it doesn't mean that you have lost yourself. it means that you have created an extension to yourself!!!
Not only can you party with the best of them, and hang out all night long with your man (or woman!), but you can easily talk no the phone, and solve a child's crisis at the same time!!!!!!!
I miss my kiods so much when I am not with them, even after a "date-night".
It is suppose to be this way. You are a MOM!! THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD!!!! You do this the best you can, and you will never regret it!
Balance that checkbook, wipe the kids' noses, clean the clothes, make love to your significant other like no other can, pack lunch for 3, drive to work, answer a million calls, and be proud that no one else can do what you do!!!

Answer 2

What you have, dear lady, is the guilt that every working mother has from spending so much time away from your children with people who don't matter to you, while strangers are doing all the things you wish you could do with your kids. The only cure for it is finding a way to stay home with your children. These years are precious and you cannot ever get the time back once it is gone. Unless and until you can stay home with them full-time, you are absolutely justified in refusing invitations on weekends that would take you away from your children. They are doing without you enough.

Answer 3

I can agree with you. I have 2 kids and miss them terribly when I am not with them. However, I really enjoy and need time apart from them every now and then. Especially when my hubby is involved. We have a date every week, so we can have some us time. I mean if it wasn't for my hubby, I wouldn't have my two adorable and precious kids. (He needs to know he is loved and appreciated too!!!)
Please don't feel guilty about not being with your kids for an hour or two. But, with you saying you are not with them for 11 hours, well, that does make it hard. I can see where you are coming from. On the weekends, my hubby tells me to go out for an hour or two just be myself. It may just be to get groceries, but I have some alone time. Besides that, the weekends are family time. Where we something fun and memorable.
You just have to make the most out of your situation. You sound like a really caring and loving Mom who just wants the best for your kids. They are lucky to have you as their Mom. Good luck

Answer 4

I feel the same way sometimes, but I am a stay-at-home mom so once in a great while I will leave my son with my hubby on a sat or sun and go for a couple of hours just to have some time to myself. My son was a preemie and almost died when he was born so I am not away from him very often.

Answer 5

I know how you feel. I stay at home though so I'm with them all day. I usually have no problems leaving them for a few hours to go to dinner with my husband or maybe out shopping with friends. But I won't leave them for extended periods. We live in Japan--way up north and a friend wanted us to spend the weekend in Tokyo. I refused. We'd have to leave the kids for the entire weekend. I said I would only go if we took the kids. I plan a lot of outings for the entire family because it just isn't the same without them.

I spend all day with them because I home school and many days they drive me nuts!! But at night I start to miss them when they're sleeping. Last night they were upstairs watching Scooby Doo and I finally had a chance to sit back, by myself and watch tv. I watched for all of 40 minutes before I went upstairs to watch Scooby Doo with them. :)

Answer 6

Your just being a good Mom. My wife and I were like that until the kids got to be teenagers. Now we go out and do a few things without them. Mainly because there out doing there own thing. If there home there always invited to go though.

Answer 7

I think it is hard for a working parent to give up any time that they have with their children. Take them shopping, movies, zoo, do homework with them, etc. However, you also need an occasional weekend alone with hubby, he is important too. Any I feel that their are limited social occasions where you shouldn't bring kids, like dinner with clients. Enjoy your kids while you can, but don't forget you need time for you too.

Answer 8

Well, I haven't had my daughter yet (I'm due in 10 weeks...) so I can't speak from experience...

but I have to say, you must have some great kids, because usually when I am around kids all day, I just want to be ALONE! LOL.

Answer 9

I feel that same exact way sometimes! I have eight, and it tears my heart when I leave them, just to go to the grocery store or something! One of my friends once asked me to go to this club with her, but I didn't go because I wanted to be with my kids. Sometimes I'll go out once in a while just for fun, but its to dinner or something.

Answer 10

Sounds like working mother guilt. I understand. Been there, done that. Personally, I think if you're not happy doing things without your kids, then don't. Do what makes you and your kids happy. They aren't going to be kids forever.