My parents separated 3 years ago they don't get long still so dad doesn't want to talk to her anymore or do anything with her he doesn't want to see her anymore I don't why I think he still have feelings for but too afaird that she might hurt him again so he ask me to tell she is coming over to stay with us in our house with dad so he wants her to bring the papers with her what do I do?
2006-09-09 15:58:47 · 18 answers · asked by me,myself and I 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Is your dad ‘working’ now?
You mentioned in an earlier question that he lost his job!
Does your mum still live in another country?
You mentioned in the other question, that your mum doesn’t help your dad look after you and the other kids.
What are your feelings toward your mum?
Do you love her?
Do you wish your mum and dad were still together?
Do you still have contact with your mum?
You have left me a bit confused…
In this question, you mentioned that your mum and dad separated three years ago…
Yet in the question you asked two weeks ago, you said that your mum left your dad, two years ago !
I can appreciate why your father would want to divorce your mum.
According to your previous question, your mum isn’t involving herself with the upbringing of you children; or caring enough to try to help you.
Perhaps your father is much better off not having anything at all to do with her !
The thing that you need to appreciate also, is that your mum does have ‘responsibilities’ toward you kids, and whether she is with your dad or not, she should still be helping to look after you !!!
From what I can gather, the youngest child is four years old, and that you help to look after him, which is why you can’t go to work.
Having to look after the youngest child is awfully unfair on you, and if your mum is any sort of a mother, she should feel damn well ashamed of herself !!!
I’m not too sure I understand your current question…
“She is coming over to stay with us in our house with dad”
When you see your mum… Ask her if she loves you… Tell her how you feel about her and your dad not being together any more… Tell her how hard things are for you and the other kids… Ask her what you kids did for her to desert you the way she did (She didn’t just leave your father)…
Tell your mum what you think of her…
If you feel you are better off without her in your life… Be sure to tell her !!!
If you want to… Make her feel as guilty as hell for what she did to you kids !!!
She brought you into this world, then dumped you…
That isn’t something that a ‘loving mother’ does to her kids !!!
You mentioned in the earlier question that your father doesn’t qualify for any Government payment.
Perhaps there are some Community Organisations that can help…
Organisations like The Salvation Army; The Smith Family; St Vincent de Paul Society; Barnardos.
Ask your father to see what Community Support is available to help you and the kids, and tell him that he shouldn’t feel ashamed to ask for help if he needs it.
I wish you love…
I hope everything works out for you !!!
2006-09-09 16:09:21 · answer #1 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, first of all it's not your responsibility to do this, it's his. Your dad needs to have the balls to stand on his own two feet and talk to mom.
If you do this, then you'll be in the middle. It all goes down hill from there. The next thing you know he'll be having you do the "tell your mom" thing that kids used to do when mad at friends.
Just tell dad that if he wants to say something to your mom that he has to be man enough to do. That it's not your job.
2006-09-09 23:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by Voice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm sorry your family is going through this, and second, it sucks that you're being caught in the middle. I think your dad needs to take care of this himself instead of getting you involved. It may not be easy for them , but i don't see why you should have to be the one to deal with it all! hope that helps.
2006-09-09 23:07:10 · answer #3 · answered by L G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the following note for him:
Dear Dad,
I've given this some thought and I hope you understand that I love both you and my Mother and that's why I am not able to relay messages or participate in any way in your divorce plans.
Sorry, but I hope you understand that this is just too painful for me. Love ...........
P.S. Here is her e-mail address
2006-09-09 23:11:32 · answer #4 · answered by bllwnkle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell your dad to stop acting like a coward and start acting like a man!
Just quote this line!
"Dad this is ridicuous! I am your child you are my father, what are you thinking? Do what you need to do and leave me out of this! I don't need this in my life right now, can't you see that?"
Get very emphatic at times!
2006-09-09 23:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being a giant dirtbag for asking his kid to do his dirty work and that's just unfair. Stay out of their relationship. It only puts you in a position to hurt your mom's feelings and it was very, very rude of him to ask you to do that.
Tell him to take care of it himself; you'll have nothing to do with it.
2006-09-09 23:04:55 · answer #6 · answered by Lori A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad married her and he will have to step up to the plate. This is not your problem it is his. he needs to call her and talk to it with her. you should not have any part of it. You need to tell him that in nice way.
2006-09-10 10:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by Lori K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your dad to grow up and take care of this like a man and do it for himself and it is very childish for him to try and put that pressure on you
2006-09-09 23:01:37 · answer #8 · answered by baby j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him hes not in high school anymore and needs to take care of his own business
2006-09-09 23:02:24 · answer #9 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE NOT THE ADULT in this situation (and apparently neither are your parents).
STAY OUT OF IT! Tell them they have to settle it between themselves.
2006-09-09 23:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by idiot detector 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋