I know the answer but want to hear it or other opinions. I had an affair w/ a married woman who told me it was basically over w/ her husband. He told her to find a boyfriend. When she started spending time w/ me he started treating her better. He hadn't met me yet. She told me how he has physically abused her and her teen age son. She had me come to the house and spend time w/her and her husband. Her mother and older daughter also told me how he abused the son and older daughter.
When I got sick of spending of majority of my time with them both I told her I wanted more time with her. She said she wanted to eventually spend her life with me but couldn't afford to separate with him now. I told her I did not want to be around when he was and if I was she said would not kiss or hug him in front of me. One time she did and said she did nothing wrong, I told him about us. She broke things off, but still wanted the friendship. I told her not as long as she is w him or not b w me
2006-09-09 15:33:01 · 11 answers · asked by CaptAmerica71 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She told me couldn't leave b/c of her younger daughter. Her other two children she worked all the time (waitressing) and now she has more time with her younger daughter. She works during the day and waitresses two nights a week. I told we can make it work, but I don't make the $ he does. She had stated stated she wanted to give me a child or adopt w/ me but I said that is not as important as just being with her. She is 45 and I am 35. She said in three years but now she is in marriage counseling while still wanting to keep my friendship against her counselor and husband's wishes. I have told her it's too much for me and she has persisted until I said I would give him more specific details of our relationship. She had me write him a letter downplaying the word affair, wanting me to say it was only an affair of the heart in order for us to be able to spend more time together w/out her being under such a close watch. Her younger daughter hates me and blames the entire thing on me
2006-09-10 02:17:25 · update #1
Can this possibly be true? It is almost a script from some desperate housewife's episode.
If in fact this is true, get moving on. Who in their right mind would allow to be put into a situation like this?
Look around, there are a lot of women who want a healthy relationship, this was not one of them.
Good luck.
2006-09-09 15:38:53 · answer #1 · answered by sideways 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the marriage was "over", they wouldn't still BE together!
If it was "over", she not only wouldn't "kiss and hug" him in FRONT of you - she wouldn't be doing it AT ALL!!!!
Not being able to "afford" to separate is just a cop-out. I presume you have been willing all along to at least help shoulder SOME of her financial burdens if she chose to live FULL-TIME with YOU!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it appears to me that she has just been using YOU to give her hubby a "wake up call". She saw how having YOU in her life made him start "treating her better". Very telling observation on your part! I think that's what she wanted ALL ALONG - was for HIM to sit up and take notice, and stop taking her for granted.
Congratulations - YOU helped the "happy couple" re-discover their love!!! Face it, she PLAYED you. THAT'S why they are "hugging & kissing" like a pair of newlyweds, THAT'S why she's not making plans to live with YOU, and THAT'S why she "broke things off", but still wants to be "friends". And that is ALSO why she is "playing dumb" by claiming she's done "nothing wrong"!!!! Oh, puh-leeeeze!
The time is WAY overdue for you to see the light. You MUST distance yourself from this situation - immediately. Unless you ENJOY playing "second fiddle" in the life of an extremely selfish and manipulative woman - I sure wouldn't stick around if I were you!
2006-09-10 02:50:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wanted to be with you so badly, she would've left her husband in the dust! She has got to be really sick or stupid to invite you over. I wouldn't even sweat it. You may of had feelings for her...but if she was that brave to do that to her husband, how do you know she wouldn't do it to you! Think about it! If she cheated on him what makes you think she wouldn't on you!
2006-09-09 22:39:05 · answer #3 · answered by ...+**+swtmumma+**+... 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing by completly cutting her out of your life. It sounded like a very strange situation to be in.
2006-09-09 22:37:04 · answer #4 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else who can be available to you alone. Its a mistake to get involved with someone who is married. Its just too much drama
2006-09-09 22:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by ladyofthehouse 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't even bother being friends it is not possible you already had a thing and it will haunt you for ever, leave her and get a single girl to focus your attention on.
2006-09-09 22:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by pay 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow i will call jerry springer 4 u. that is just wierd. anyway, just go your seperate ways that relationship is ****** up from the word go. find sum-1 else and move on
2006-09-09 22:43:30 · answer #7 · answered by whiffany 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think you got used. i think you should avoid getting involved with married women. and i feel bad for you. you have to move on, she's not healthy.
2006-09-09 22:38:49 · answer #8 · answered by steelypen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she's a waist of time and it's all sad.
2006-09-09 22:39:25 · answer #9 · answered by Honey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must have a death wish!!!!!!!! Need I say more?????
2006-09-09 22:41:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋