I heard there just some old guy with a guest book and a big gate.
2006-09-09 15:29:55 · 13 answers · asked by Nerdly Stud 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
There was a guy who died and went to heaven, but he was outside, trying to get in.
He yelled and screamed and pounded on the gate. He was making quite a scene.
Finally Saint Peter flung the gate open and yelled, "WHAT?"
The guy said, "I want to come in!"
Peter replied, "Well, I'm sorry. Your name is not on our list."
The guy cried, "There must be some mistake! I just gotta get in there!"
Peter said, "Okay... tell me what kind of good things did you do while on the earth?"
The guy thought a while and answered, "I gave two dollars to a church once.. and I gave two dollars to a bum once."
Peter said, "That's ALL? ... and you want to come in? I'll have to to ask God about this one" , then he closed the gate and left.
When Peter found God he said, "I have a problem outside."
God said, "What's up?"
Peter told him, "There's a guy outside yelling and screaming. He insists he should come in."
God said, "Okay... What did he do?"
Peter answered, "He gave two dollars to church, and two dollars to a bum"
God said, "That's it? ... and he wants to come in?"
Peter said, "Yeah... and he's causing a scene. What should I do?"
God thought for a moment and said,
"Give him his four dollars back and tell him to go to hell."
.
2006-09-09 15:45:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
One could say that it is secure enough that nothing impure or imperfect can enter the gates. But, one would be wrong, wouldn't they? Because we know, from the book of Job, for one, that Satan enters and exits heaven and appears before the throne of God. If that is not letting the enemy in I don't know what is.
However, with an all powerful and all knowing God, I believe we can safely assume that heaven is absolutely secure.
2006-09-09 22:39:31 · answer #2 · answered by hisnamesaves 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no such thing. The pearly gates are just a myth.
Read this for a better perspective.
http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/twainlfe.htm
And why you should not believe in such nonsense.
2006-09-09 22:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by ratboy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Funny though... that old guy can hold back and form of darkness, I have this feeling the boreders are quite secure.
2006-09-09 22:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by schr91 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
And a couple of Guardian Angels...
but the biggest thing will be your sins and your memory that you are not perfect...
and Jesus will was away your sins and remember them no more...
Jesus' atonement makes you as spotless as He, the Perfect and Obedient Son.
2006-09-09 22:34:36 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Tom♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is fairly secure except for Mexicans
2006-09-09 22:32:29 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Sabetudo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LOL! Just try that old guy! Ha! That'd be a quick exit for you!
Here's a clue"
The "border" is NOT run by humans...
2006-09-09 22:34:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
hummm;very interesting question. what made you think of that? I would say Heaven is very secure....it's got the best boarder patrol around!
2006-09-09 22:34:16 · answer #8 · answered by nici a 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your making fun of the Bible and the Kingdom of God which is very sad on your part! May God bless you with the gift of common sense!
2006-09-09 22:33:20 · answer #9 · answered by Ash 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
They actually just installed a electric fence for those unwelcomes.
2006-09-09 22:35:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋