I just recently had a baby, and my 13 month old (who before her sister came along, always went to bed at 8:00 without fuss). Now every time I put her to bed, she cries and cries untill I take her out of her crib. Sometimes she doesnt' even go to bed till 9:30 - 10:00. This has gone on for at least a week now.
I think it's because she sees her little sister go into my room at night, and she wants to be with us.
She is crying right now.....should I let her cry it out, or give in and let her play?
2006-09-09 14:52:18 · 13 answers · asked by AuroraBorealis 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
ok, i just went in her room to comfort her, but not take her out of the crib, and when I left, she SCREAMED even louder!
2006-09-09 15:05:14 · update #1
You need to let her cry it out. Otherwise you are going to be one tired mommy. You need to get as much sleep as you can.
Don't let her cry more than 30 mins. Go in and comfort her without taking her out of the crib and then leave wait another 30 mins.
My daughter never cried the full 30 minutes.
2006-09-09 15:01:00 · answer #1 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't just attribute this to the new baby. Your daughter may have some fear of the dark that she's developed over time. As far as crying incessantly when she sees you leave, she may definitely feel a lack of the same bond she had before baby came along. Maybe you've somehow changed her nightly routine before bed, and shortened it in some way, or she feels rushed out of the picture, so attention can be devoted to baby. Sharing the time is absolutely crucial. Maybe you could incorporate her help in bathing the baby and dressing the baby before bed. Set the baby in a bouncer for the 20 or 30 minutes it might take and give your oldest your undivided, undistracted attention. It's crucial for her emotional development that you don't toss her to the side, even though the new baby may absolutely be more dependent and needy of your attention. Your daughter needs to know she has mommy's unconditional love, and when she feels secure in that your bedtime problem certainly should go away. She's simply asking for reassurance that momma is still there if she cries for help and affection. Please give it to her- she needs that. My daughter is 13 months herself, and we've just recently transitioned her to her own bed in her room and had no problem with early bedtimes. My mother swears it's because she feels secure and confident that we're still nearby and watching over her...your daughter may need that assurance restored with this new bundle on the scene, that's all!
Here's an excerpt from the article below, "Many parents in this situation will try to smooth things over with adult logic. But before they do, they should consider how the situation looks through the eyes of their child: "Think on the bright side. You've gained a playmate." (Child's logic: "I've got plenty of playmates. Did I ask for another one? And this one can't play—all she does is cry.") "Mommy and daddy love you just as much." ("Then why is that baby always in your arms and I'm not?") "I need to spend more time with your baby sister because babies need mommies so much, just like you did when you were a baby." ("I'd rather still be a baby. And I need mommy, too. Besides, I don't remember being a baby.") "Mommy's busy, but you and daddy can do something special." ("Why did you need a baby? Wasn't I good enough?") "You'll get used to her, and she'll be fun to play with." ("I hate that baby. That baby upsets all my fun. When can you take the baby back, mommy?")
After months of this wishful thinking, reality hits. The baby isn't going back. In fact, she's growing up, crawling, and getting into the older child's precious possessions. So the child digs in to defend her turf against the enemy who topples her towers of blocks and pesters her playmates. Big sister spends the rest of her growing-up years competing for the family prize – her parents' attention"
I hope this all helps, here's the link!!
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T064200.asp
2006-09-11 09:55:55 · answer #2 · answered by SunburstSapphire_99 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd leave her. If she went to bed before with no problem, then she knows she can sleep in her own room safely.
Iam sure this is a phase brought on by the new baby. She'll get over it so long as you're consistant about leaving her in there.
You could go in and help her calm down for a few minutes, but i wouldnt do it repeatedly, nor make a huge habit out of it.
2006-09-09 21:56:48 · answer #3 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust your momma instinct! You are SO right! I have a degree and career in childhood development. It sounds like the perfect example of sibling rivalry. If the baby sees her sister with you, then that's what she wants as well. You have to decide what you think is best. Both girls sleep with you OR each girl has a separate place to sleep. You need to be diligent to train your girls on what you want them to do, not the other way around. I am a single mother and I KNOW how precious a good night of sleep is. It sounds like you are on the right track, trust your instinct!
2006-09-09 22:06:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 2 year old and I found the best thing to do when he was that age was to let him cry it out for as long as you can. You have to commit to it though because they will see that they cry and mommy comes to get them.. you have to stick to it and then after a week or so they will understand that crying is not going to get them anything. Hope this helps... I know how stressful bedtime can be.
2006-09-09 21:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the previous, if the baby is asleep by 8, let your 13 mo stay up for a little extrra to spend time with you.
2006-09-09 21:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by melashell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't give in, It is ok to check on her but do not get her out of the crib.
Talk softly to her, tell her it is time to go to sleep, and that you will be there when she wakes....
It may take time but she will eventually get back into a regular sleeping routine
2006-09-09 21:56:20 · answer #7 · answered by Chief 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be the new baby. But she's also at the age when they start feeling separation anxiety. Was she in your room till the baby was born? Because that could be it too.
2006-09-09 22:41:33 · answer #8 · answered by Nate's Mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take her out of the crib,however, go in there put the baby on it's tummy,pat and rub it's back saying shhh, shhh, it's okay love,shh, shhh, it's okay. pat and rub. do this for five to ten minutes and the baby will be asleep. now the baby will try to roll over or get up and will cry to keep itself awake just be patient and repeat.
2006-09-09 21:58:13 · answer #9 · answered by autumnbrookblue 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do not give in. She will know that all she has to do is cry and she will get her way. Let her cry! You are doing the right thing. :)
2006-09-09 21:55:22 · answer #10 · answered by ShanaJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋