Every time I tell my mom something and ask her not to tell anyone else, she DOES. When I became pregnant, she told my grandma immediately, even though i asked her to wait so I could share the BIGGEST news of my life. This week, I told her about my husbands new job. It wasn't official quite yet so I asked her not to tell anyone. Tonight, we were at a family function and my grandparents said, "how come you didn't tell us you were getting a new job?"
How can I be respectful to her but at the same time let her know i disaprove what she does?
2006-09-09 14:37:23 · 25 answers · asked by keclm28 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Quote her from William Penn who wrote, "It is wise not to seek a secret; and honest, not to reveal one." and do not reveal secrets you want to keep secret, you will be honest and respectful.
2006-09-09 14:50:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your mom know how disappointed you are in her behavior. Tell her that you will not be sharing private information with her any more if she continues to blab everything you ask her to keep quiet. Give her a "test" and see what happens. If she passes, good, if not then stop giving her information that you don't want other people to have before you are ready to share it. This is about setting boundaries with people and it is OK to set boundaries with your mother.
2006-09-09 14:42:05 · answer #2 · answered by Tatochka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm sorry to tell you, but it's time you start using discretion on what you tell her. Or more importantly, 'when' you tell her. If she can't be trusted to be the first to hear and give you time to tell others yourself instead of her running her mouth, you're going to have to start keeping it a secret from her until you've let things unfold or until you've told all other parties you were going to tell. It's not wrong of you to keep things from her. Especially if you tell her eventually. Nothing wrong with it at all. You're not obligated to tell her every little detail of your life as it happens. That's a privilege. A privilege she's abused by running her mouth.
2006-09-09 14:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you should stop telling her things. She doesn't sound like she does it on purpose. She is just too excited and proud of her little girl to keep anything inside! Understand her point of view. Imagine (now that you are pregnant or a new mother) that you child does something you consider outstanding....wouldn't you want to shout it to the world? If it bothers you so much don't tell her every single detail but I think that if you distance yourself from her your being selfish and not thinking of her feelings. Talk to her the next time and say "before I tell you this you gotta promise not to tell ANYONE" but remember she is just proud and exploding with enthusiasm. I think your very lucky your mom thinks so highly of you and count your blessings for having one like her, anyone who says distance from mom is not worthy of having one. Remember you are a parent as well and wouldn't want your child to distance themselves from you when you become proud of them.
2006-09-09 15:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom is the exact same way. Exact same. You cant tell her anything unless you want the whole world to know. My best advice is to not tell her anything anymore unless you are ready to tell. Or you can just wait to tell your news when you are together with your family. That way you will be the one to tell your news. You will still be telling your mom, but the whole family as well. And she cant spill your secret to everyone, when everyone already knows.
2006-09-09 14:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mom is just really happy for you and your husband. Talk to her and let her know that when you tell her something in confidence it is to be kept that way, or you will just have to avoid telling her anything that you don't want anyone else to know about.
2006-09-09 15:33:51 · answer #6 · answered by college@44 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop telling her.
I had to learn the same lesson the hard way. I told my mother one of the most private secrets of my life and 2 weeks later, I over-hear her telling my aunt and grandmother. I explicitly told her not to tell anyone.
I have never told her anything requiring secrecy since.
2006-09-09 14:44:25 · answer #7 · answered by kickbutt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but I have some people like your Mom in my family--and all I can say is that they Will Not Change...The best you can do is love her and forgive her--and from now on, STOP telling her crucial information that you don't want anyone to know..Blabbermouths--what can I say.
Peace
2006-09-09 14:48:41 · answer #8 · answered by Plus-Sized &Proud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she continues to tell others your big news before you are ready then you need to not tell her anymore until you are ready for it to be out. If she is upset by this you need ot tell her that she has let you down in the past and that you can no longer trust her.
2006-09-09 14:39:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mom works from 5am to 11:30 p.m. and that i dont get to make certain her typically so even as she has days off i cant tell her something now in view that i trust like she's a stranger.. :( you need to objective to spend more desirable time with your mom and your relationship receives more suitable... its honestly authentic. goodluck!
2016-11-25 22:50:22 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it, but you are going to have to stop telling her things, unless you are ready to have your mother broadcast to the world..... Sounds like she just can't keep her mouth shut. You may want to explain to her that she is betraying you by acting this way. It may make her behave, but then again, some people never do.
2006-09-09 14:40:41 · answer #11 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋