I WANT TO TAKE AWAY ALL HER PERSONAL BELONGINGS TO TEACH HER THAT I AM THE ONE THAT PROVIDES ALL THESE THINGS FOR HER AND UNTIL SHE LEARNS TO ABIDE BY THE RULES IN MY HOUSEHOLD SHE WILL NOT GET THEM BACK. IF IT WASNT FOR ME SHE WOULD HAVE NOTHING. WILL THIS WORK OR AM I WASTING MY TIME PACKING?
2006-09-09 13:48:24 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She came home and found out what I did and now she refuses to come home...what do I do?
2006-09-13 08:29:49 · update #1
I say go for it! also, don't be afraid to spank!
2006-09-09 13:49:58 · answer #1 · answered by O'Shea 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is tough, and perhaps I am not qualified to add some input at this point. It sounds like you've had experiences that I have not had yet. However, it seems like to me that love and understanding (not trying to be a friend) but being there when the crap hits the fan, can make a big difference.
Imagine this; you do your best to be strong, but not in the way you described. You put your foot down, but try to have leniency and grace. Months later, something may happen that makes her face what has happened. Now, if you had condemned her, she would not only resent you for being right, but not be trusting with you at all. But if you show from the beginning that you will not judge her too far, and that we have all made mistakes, which is why you would like to save her from making them, perhaps she would look up to you more. Sorry for blabbering..hehe
2006-09-09 13:52:49 · answer #2 · answered by merlin_steele 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First thing you need to do is be in control of yourself....
When you yell she knows you are not in control....
Pack all of her toys, the make up, her favorite clothes and shoes. Replace the pretty sheets and comforter with plain sheets. Turn the cell phone service off and whatever other goodies she has. If she drives, no more car, no more allowance, nothing. Just explain to her that when she gets back on track, talks appropriately, behaves appropriately, she will earn back her things, one by one.
Make a list of the ten things she does that irritate you the most, then narrow that list to five and tell her these are the things she needs to work on.
Ask her to make her own list.
There are some good books to read on parenting a teenager at the library.
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. I raised six, I survived, but my sanity is not intact.
Remember to remain calm at all times, you must keep your emotions out of this. And do not say "I bought you this and I bought you that" I hate it when people say that to me. Good luck
2006-09-09 14:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by Annie R 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That is a very loud way to make a point to a teenager be careful could make her worse try just tightening the reigns for a bit don't take away what she has already been given as that wont work she will rebel just don't give her any more make your daughter earn what she wants then maybe she will respect it a bit more after all you have to work for what you want in life. Go on strike say you wont provide pocket money and treats for her stuff like that and maybe she will even respect you as her parent. Good luck
2006-09-09 14:05:40 · answer #4 · answered by the strange one 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm afraid you've let it get too far. It's turned into a power struggle, and by lashing out in such an extreme manner, she will do something equally extreme to rebel & get back at you. When I was a teen & lived with my mom, she did things like that just to hurt me and it just made me hate her more. Find ways to show her that you love her and are still in charge at the same time. You need a support system (friends, relatives, other experienced moms) to help you make this work. Best of luck to you. Doing something rash isnt the answer though.
2006-09-09 14:08:47 · answer #5 · answered by cartmansmom 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
At 17 years , she is already an grownup to 3 degree. replaced into she like this while she replaced into ten years previous or six years previous? while did you be conscious this behaviour? Be very careful once you prefer to punish a 17 twelve months previous. it ought to reason an irrepairable injury. in the experience that your newborn has been like this considering that 10 years previous or so, then the reason being possibly the shortcomings and blunders in her upbringing with the help of you. you should make an instantaneous corrections on your techniques and techniques of coping with babies and paintings out remedial steps to income her self assurance in you and your husband as her trustful and loving mum and dad. you should get advice and professional evaluations in this. in spite of the fact that, if her rebellious and stressful behaviour has basically began while she is 17 years previous, you should locate the reason for this transformation of behaviour. you should construct her self assurance in trusting you or your husband. you like some professional advice and guidance in this besides. locate the inspiration of the subject and paintings out a be certain. you should continuously remember, she is your daughter. She did no longer rebellion while she replaced into born. alongside the way considering that then she has greater to what she is now. ought to locate the reason or motives. Punishing her incorrectly can snap the mother and dad-newborn relationship. it rather is a catastrophe. I strongly propose you evaluation the full subject carefully. attempt speaking to her and teach her which you like her. and of direction while you're a non secular individual, pray to God for guidance and advice and reward to all of you.
2016-11-07 00:16:55 · answer #6 · answered by rangnow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you yell at her all the time the way you yelled your question?
Try talking to her. It won't work right away, because you are alienated from one another.
Probably, one of the feelings you are having is fear. Fear for her future. Fear that something will happen to her. Fear that she will hate you. I know you love her very deeply. She must understand that your angry attitude is motivated by fear, and that you love her but are afraid for her. She is probably angry and fearful, too. And, at her age, testing you, trying to be independent, and yet still being a child, with all the fears of a child.
Try coming to some compromises. Ask her what she feels would be fair, and then listen. Of course, I can't know your true situation, and these are just suggestions. But maybe, if something here rings true for you, maybe it will help.
2006-09-09 13:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
hey mom..or dad..or whatever you are.....you are just going to waste your time AND energy packing.i bet that when you were a teen you're something like your daughter-disrespectful and defiant..but hey who knows.....lik that girl up there somewhere said rock on teenagers!and the other one that said you are wasting your time seriously...i strongly agree with both of them we are teens..we're not suppose to be some goody goodie...just be patient and don't get pissed..you will start yelling then she will...good luck
2006-09-09 15:30:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always talked to my childern just like they were adults and still do! You know we already have enough people that just don't care about other's at all and the problem is just getting worse. So sometimes childern need to be corrected and other times they just need a talking to. First you have to be percieved as someone that is in charge and that will be viewed as deserving respect. If all you have ever done is to yell at the child, then the child will just turn you off when you try to correct them, so first get some respect by showing your in charge and also carring because love is the first and formost LAW!
2006-09-09 14:06:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Whoa... looks like you're really mad at her. As the others have already said, take away her things. Maybe start with the one she likes the most, like cellphone and computer, maybe? Cut her allowance, so she'll know who's the boss. But go easy on her. Let her learn her lesson not in a brutal way. But other than that, try to talk to her first, maybe you did something that might have upset her. :)
2006-09-09 13:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Bravo! Go for it. For it to work you have to follow through. No money for entertainment. No hanging out with friends, no nothing.
Two outfits, one to wear while SHE washes the other one. Homework and housework and bed. No snacks, only 3 square meals, no soda, water only.
Make her earn one item back for each week she abides by the rules. And by one item I mean one, one sock, one shoe, etc.
She will rebel more at first, but will soon be the responsible person she needs to be.
To heck with what others think, you are preparing your child to be a responsible, contributing member of society.
2006-09-09 13:57:40 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋