we have been dating for 10 months and every time i am around him, at home at dinner, he just sits there, last nite we went to dinner and i had to talk for 2 hours straight, it was so uncomfortable i just kept ordering drinks... i asked him questions but he just stares ahead and grunts out answers, or one word answers , i can not get him to engage in conversation, the only time he talks is when we are in bed, lights out, I wonder if he is extremly shy and only fees confortable talking then, it is what it seems to me, he says i intimidate him and he doesn't feel good enough for me, and he even stutters when he tries to talk to me, are there any good books for him to read, i think he would read one, or how do i approach this situation without making him even more self conscious about talking after he knows i am annoyed with it? HELP!!! I am starting to advoid seeing him because it makes me so uncomfortable and its just probably making him worse!!!
2006-09-09 13:35:17 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, you've wasted 10 months of your life thus far...how many more are you willing to waste?
2006-09-09 13:37:12 · answer #1 · answered by Moxie Crimefighter 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don/t talk for two hours straight. give him a chance to say a few words. If he stutters he is painful aware of how hard it is to express himself. Give him time to put his thoughts together and let him take as long as it takes to complete his thought. The more you push him the more painful talking to you will become. If he is only giving you one or two word answers then stop asking questions. Make statements giving him the chance to comment. If he doesn't then sit there in silence and wait until he speaks first. Trust me he will!He hates his stuttering and he really likes you. He won't want to be less then perfect for you. Let him know in a nice way that the stuttering(if he brings it up)is endearing to you. That you really didn't notice because you were listening to his story. The more comfortable he is with you the more he will open himself up conversation. Please!!Don't ever prattle on for 2 hours! I wouldn't even take the chance of trying to get a word in
2006-09-09 20:48:11 · answer #2 · answered by autumnbrookblue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a scientific fact that men need to talk less than women.He apparently is the extreme.Communication is the key to a good relationship.If you can't communicate with him why are you still going out?It won't get better,and it obviously annoys you now.
Break it off gently. I don't think his reading a book will help. He probably needs some therapy.Sorry.What does he do for a living?Does he not have to talk?
2006-09-09 20:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by nancy e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After ten months there must be something that you like about him otherwise you would have given him the ol' heave ho after the first date. That is the place to start. Tell him why you like him and why you are dating him. Then maybe he will feel comfortable enough to open up to you. Good luck.
2006-09-09 20:41:30 · answer #4 · answered by wondering 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is too short to put up with this ... and you've been doing it for 10 months. You must be exhausted.
Time to find someone who can carry their end of a conversation.
2006-09-09 20:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he feels that he is not up to your standards, you need to convince him that he is. make him feel like the man that is right for you. take part in things that he is interested in. try to make him realize that you are a person who wants to spend time with him and that he is someone you feel right about being with. if he still doesnt get the picture slap him on the cheek and start crying and tell him say something for once in his miserable life. and see if that does anything. if making him feel bad about not acknoleging you still doesnt work tell him it isnt working.
2006-09-09 20:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by pevehead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is either really shy, or he doesnt Like to be seen talking to you. He might be embarrased of something about him. Re assure him that you love him, and he doesnt have to worry about anything.
2006-09-09 20:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by Big Boss 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you two are not a good match...move on
2006-09-09 20:38:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try sign language.
2006-09-09 20:40:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he needs to read and read out loud that may help him from being shy if that is what it is.
2006-09-09 20:39:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋