The Pros And Cons Of The Effects Of Divorce For Children?

Question

Can Anyway One Give Me The Pros And Cons Of The Effects Of Divorce For Children? Its Becuase Im Writeing 5 Pages About That But I Dont KNow ANYTHING So Can Anyone Help Me?!?!?!? Please thanks!

Answer 1

con: you emotionally scar/kill your children

pro: you emotionally scar/kill your children

Answer 2

I will answer this question based on personal experience. My parents divorced (actually legally separated) when I was 4 yrs old, my brother 6. My father lived 2 blocks away up until I was 10 & then he moved 1 state away. We always had visits to my father's house every other weekend & several weeks during the summer. Personally, this had no real effect on me as I do not remember them being together. I only know that when they communicated over the yrs that they did NOT like each other & had many arguments. I feel it was better for them to be apart for their own sanity & peace of mind. I feel it would have been a horrible situation if they stayed together for "the kids' sake". I have no idea how they managed to get together in the first place. My brother, being a little older did not take it as well as me. He had behavioral problems growing up (maybe it was just him) & at one point (early high school) my mother couldn't play the "father role" during the week & he moved in with my father who was more strict & set him straight. If one does get a divorce with kids, the best thing to do is do it when they're young & haven't fully established the family unit as solid & unbreakable. The older the kids get, the more effect it will have.
Pros:
1.Happy Parents make happy children, no sense if everyone is miserable
2.Kids get individualized attention from parents (if regular visitation is in place) & may even get an extended family (ex. step sister)
3.Extra presents for kids at Christmas/birthday
4.Parents get a break from the kids a few times a month (when visiting with other parent)-instant babysitter

COns:
1.Separate holidays (ex. Thanksgiving with mom, Christmas with dad)-even as the child becomes an adult
2.May affect child's perception of future relationships-I have no faith in "til death do us part" even though I am married.
3.Child may witness the backtalk & lashing between parents-one against the other, may create favoritism between parents.

THere are NO pros if the other parent is not part of the child's life (unless the other parent is on drugs, unfit, destructive or abusive). My time spent with my father was quality time: life lessions, long talks, homework/project help, outings, vacations across the country & to different countries etc. I am 30 now & have good relationships with both my parents, apart!

Answer 3

there are not pro and cons about divorce when children are involved. 1 is that they are emotionally scared for the rest of their live. 2 they never got it. 3 no one else know what they are going through. 4. it hurts in many ways than one. 5 most important of all talk to the child because they need to know in what is going on between their parents. also the parents need to spend time with the child in the transition after the divorce.

Answer 4

I don't believe divorce can ever solve a problem of a couple. If a couple believe it will, they are being selfish and don't think about their children. If they have problems, they have to talk about it and find ways to solve them together. It will not be easy but if they both are determined, they will. Bottomline, no pros but just cons and more cons and more cons. I know some people who settle for divorce so they marry again but they are still not happy and wanted divorce again. DIVORCE are only for the cowards and irresponsible couples.

Answer 5

Let me put it this way: I'm almost 32 and my parents just filed for divorce this year. I'm devastated. I've been depressed and have had a lot of trouble coping. Every time I think I have a handle on things I break down in tears all over again. I don't even live in the same country as they do. I cannot understand how this could happen to *my* parents.

If I'm in my 30s and having this much trouble coping and understanding, think of how much something like this must affect a child who doesn't have the tools to cope and understand because they lack life experience. I have a whole new appreciation for how much divorce shatters a child.

Answer 6

From personal experience, I never stopped feeling like it was somehow my fault (I was 5 when it happened, and I'm 45 now). I have no memory of it, but apparently I was so stressed by the divorce and my dad moving far away that I pulled out all my eyelashes and eyebrows. I felt so different all through school because most of my friends' parents were still together. I always thought their parents would think there was something bad about my family and not want them to be friends with me. I was embarrased when my mom remarried and people would call her Mrs. (My Last Name) and that was not her last name. I was raised by a step father who hated children and couldn't stand the sound of laughter. My stepmother was a widow with 3 children, so my dad actually became their dad and they had him all the time, which created an awful jealousy in me -- and in my stepmom. Every dime my dad spent on me, she resented because she wanted it for her kids. I've always had a deep-seated resentment of my mother for taking me away from my father, because she was the one who wanted the divorce and he didn't. I also was aware that he wanted custody of me and I wanted to go with him, but she prevented it right up until the court would let me choose at 16 and at that point, it's hard for any teenager to switch school and move hours away -- so it never happened. Holidays like Christmas and birthdays they both would try to buy my affection to prove their love. Everyone called me spoiled for getting so much, but I didn't even want the stuff and I never felt like I had the one thing that really mattered -- my family together.
My dad died young, and I always feel like I was cheated out of the time I was supposed to get to spend with him. I may never stop feeling that way.
I realize there are probably situations where divorce is the best solution and the kids are in a worse place living in a home with constant fighting or abusive behavior, etc., but this was just based on my own experience.

Answer 7

The advantages of having parents split up are
1. Children become more resilient and more mature.
2. By Daddy and Mommy splitting up because they no longer love each, this sets an example for the child in his/her adult years. It lets them know that it's OK to abandon a relationship that isn't working out, in search for happiness else where. Kids will respect parents more for being honest with themselves and not cheating themselves out of happiness.
3. Let's kids know that parents are human
4. Two Christmasses.
5. If the marriage is rife with abuse, emotional and physical cruelty, it's good that the child sees that the abused parent has enough self respect to get out of a bad situation.
6. Children will learn from parent's resilience and also know that it's OK to fail.
7. If one of the parents is abusive to the child then the divorce can help prevent the re-occurance of the abuse to the child. Child grow up emotionally stronger than if left in abusive environment.
8. Development of Emotional Quotient from having to deal with uphevals early in life.

Disadvantage
1. Depending on the sensitivity of the child, the child may suffer emotionally, thinking that it caused the rift between the parents. It's really up to the parents to make sure the emotional damage is controlled
2. Some children do not fare well with changes. This can lead to depression, rebellion and angst.
3. Child may grow up to be cycnical of relationships or may not be able to build strong relationships because his/her adults had not been able to demonstrate effectively how to do so by breaking up the adult relationship in the child's life
4. Disorientation/disassociation - if both parents are in different locations in the state or country, this will result in the child having to travel a lot to see the parent.
5. Poisoning of the mind - the parent with more custody rights might poison the mind of the child into believing that the other parent is evil, thus destroying the relationship of the child with the other parent (but this can happen even while the parents are married as well). (You can twist this one into a PRO- by saying that as a result of being divorced the frustrated parent no longer poisons the mind of the child with negativity because he/she is free of the offending spouse.)
6. Having to deal with parents dating other people.

OK - that's enough from me.. I'm sure you can expound on these facts a little more.

Have fun with your assignment.

Answer 8

My parents divorced when I was 4yrs old. Pros-somewhere to go and something to do during summer break and 2 christmases or Thanksgivings. Cons-couldn't participate in any father daughter things (dad lived too far away) and over the years dad grew farther and farther apart. At first my brother and I got into a lot of trouble. We would rob places. (we were only 6 and 7yrs old)

Answer 9

From personal experience I would say:

Pros: If your house is full of tension and fighting parents, the divorce provides relief from that problem. Happier parents=happier children.

Cons: Children often get placed in the middle by the adults. Adults often make the children "take sides", inconsistent rules at different houses, feeling less settled, having to deal with "boyfriends/girlfreinds" of the parents and/or their children., lots of treaveling between houses.

Answer 10

cons, it can be emotionall distressing, and may make them less secure about love in the future. it may create stress and akwardness at family functions and holidays(christmas, their wedding ect..). On the other hand if the relationship is negative and causing you pain than it is not healthy for a child to watch that either. Growing up my father drank and hit my mom, then they divorced. I was not sad, it hurt to see my mother struggle in other relationships but i was glad that she wasn't with him. Meanwhile my aunt and uncle stayed married till there kids were teens, he was emotionally abusive and controlling, both her children are drug addicts and can't make relationships work. I am in a very happy relationship because watching my mothers struggles has taught me the importance of having a good partnership. One with good communication, love and respect. This prolly won't help your paper much. sorry good luck.

Answer 11

Pro. Child doesn't have to hear or see parental violence.
Child gets more gifts


Con. They dont get to see postive couples. They dont get to see a healthy relationship.
They have 2 homes instead of one steady house
They can blame their self for the divorce