i have a friend that has been waiting for this guy to commit to marriage for over 3 years. he'll be with her on weekends and then choose on other weekends to play video games with his friends. she owns a home and he doesn't and now is unemployed. he is 31 and she is 34. everytime she gets mad about it he says that he "wants to try to work towards 'wanting to get married'"
i think it's bullshit but when i tell her she gets upset. another this is this friend of mine really wants to get married and have children..do you think he'll change his mind?
any adivce?
2006-09-09 12:05:15 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think that your friend should start looking for a serious guy who wants a family just like she does. i doubt that the present boyfriend will change his mind.
she sould find out herself...
2006-09-09 12:10:19 · answer #1 · answered by julesloveslife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately women believe they can change a man, then go into a relation they can't get out of. This guy won't change and at 31 only wants to play video games! She should stay very far away and keep the door open for someone else more deserving.
2006-09-09 12:10:04 · answer #2 · answered by tman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's true most guys want to get married. But with marital problems so predominant and so many marriages breaking up, there are good reasons to be hesitant. The more alike you are - in culture, lifestyle and religions - the greater the chances for success. Check out my "source" for more info on what makes a successful marriage.
2016-03-27 04:26:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think, realistically, it is very unlikely.
I am not suggesting he has a bad intention or is trying to purposely deceive her, in my experience however, if a man says he does not want something & is specific about it.... he is saying what he means.
It is very difficult for many women in this type of situation to accept that - we dont want to hear that which we do not want to believe.
Of course it is possible that she can hold out & eventually he will marry her, but I doubt she will find the happy marraige she is looking for.
If he is saying he wants to work towards wanting to get married - in my opinion that would suggest that he wants to be with her & doesnt want to hurt her by keep saying that he will not marry her, but it underlies the same message - marraige is not what he wants. If he does marry her to keep her happy, the chances of that lasting are not high.
Perhaps your friend could look at why she feels the need to get married - because painful as it is, she will eventually have to decide if she can choose this man, or indeed the type of man, who does not wish to commit to marraige as the type of partner she wants & if she put that above her wish to be married.
I wish her the best of luck & happiness.
2006-09-09 12:21:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think he will change his mind. If that was something he was planning on he would be making steps to take care of a family and it sounds like he hasn't grown up himself. I agree with you that your friend needs to move on and find someone that has the same hopes and dreams that she does. I think she is afraid she won't find anyone else. It will be worth it if she finds a person that is on the same page as she is. Hopefully she will listen to your wisdom.
2006-09-09 12:09:39 · answer #5 · answered by Sheila W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a guy says he never wants to get married he means it. The missing part of the sentence is "...to you". "He never wants to get married TO YOU". He would no doubt marry the right person in his eyes. Your friend may even be the right person...someday, but the longer she waits, the more he knows she's willing to wait and he's FINE WITH THAT.
He's stuck on Someday Isle, surrounded by the Wait and Sea
2006-09-09 12:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but this guy sounds like a bum. Why does your friend want to marry him.( Other than the obvious reason that she loves him?)
2006-09-09 12:07:29 · answer #7 · answered by bernie2u4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she has her answer. Tell her to take off the rose-colored glasses and see clearly that he is playing her because he can--she allows it. There are no victims only volunteers!
2006-09-09 12:09:28 · answer #8 · answered by tampagirl1015 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to wake up, this guy is going nowhere he has no job, no ambition and no goals, he doesnt know what he even wants for his future and is unstable and at 31 he should have some direction already....
2006-09-09 12:17:53 · answer #9 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should dump his sorry @ss. He sounds like a loser, and he'll probably mooch off her. She can do better.
Maybe she's afraid she won't find someone else, but she will.
2006-09-09 12:08:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋