my son rules me with everything.he wont let me out of his sight and his temper is really bad.its driving me crazy.i need help!
2006-09-09 11:54:22 · 45 answers · asked by NATALIE M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Time-out!!!!!! I did not do it with my daughter (now fixing to be 5) but my Mom did when she watched her and the difference between how she acts with me and how she acts with her is amazing!!!!
2006-09-09 11:57:51 · answer #1 · answered by echickaboo99 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi.
You are not alone in this, i have heard this so many times.
the problem is that at your sons age he is beginning to understand a lot more and he now wants to see how far he can push you, hence the terrible 2 saying, which i dont think is necessarily true. You must show him who is boss BUT without losing your temper and definately without smacking him, keep your calm otherwise he will sense he is getting to you, make sure you have a routine with him ie same dinner time, bath time bedtime etc wherever possible. one of the post important bits of advise i think i can give is when you make a threat keep the threat and the same goes for a promise, i have found this to be really effective. None of what i am saying happens over night though it will take time, whar about a naughty step/corner etc it has been proven to be very effective for children, my mum used it on me and now i use it on my children. when he has done something naughty give him a warning then if he repeats it put him wherever you are going to have the naughty place make him sit there for maybe 2-3 mins, if he gets up dont talk to him just put him back again repeat this for as long as necessary. hope some of this will help you.
2006-09-13 02:05:38 · answer #2 · answered by chezed19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen... truly listen to this and your life will be so much better. Be stern. I know that you feel bad being "mean" to him but you can't let a 2 year old child have any idea in the world that you are there puppet. Whatever you say to your child make sure you come through. There is nothing else worse than empty threats. If you say I am going to put you in your room if you do _____ again, you best do exactly that if they do. Use tones which are a lot more easy for children to understand necessarily then words. Don't yell but speak strongly while making eye contact. They will do what you want them to do once they realize that Mommy isn't going to give into me anymore. These are the years that they develop there personality and if they walk all over you now they will walk all over you years from now and honestly they aren't going to remember you being "mean" to them at this age. Think about it... what do you remember from when you were 2? Good luck and please try this. It will be hard at first because they are used to getting there own way or you being soft but he will soon forget that Mommy and start to respect this one.
2006-09-12 07:10:22 · answer #3 · answered by Just Wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a two years old boy that have a strong behaviour and challenge my discipline a lot. The only thing that correct him is to let him know what I think he has to do, avoiding all the opportunities he has to disobey. You will need to be stronger than him to hear him yelling and crying for the first time. After all, as he learns how to behave, he's going to understand what you mean to him just by explaining things. Be sure this will take a lot of time because each situation needs the same process. Giving him a great deal of love and affect will help, but just show a strong and angry face when he is disobeying and avoid looking at him when you need to be firm.
2006-09-10 02:01:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows how to push the right buttons to get the right result. Don't underestimate him. You are the adult, have clearly defined boundaries and most important of all STICK TO THEM - DON'T GIVE INTO HIM.
As already said, if he has a 'tantrum' it is to solicit a response from you; with time he will learn that he is not getting the response that he wants and being a clever little chap, he WILL change tact. Be patient, it's taken two years for you to teach him how to get around you, it will be a while before he gives up trying what he has learnt! Still better to do it now though than to try when he is a teenager!
Terrible two's are testing but don't last for ever, keep the faith and be strong. He has to know when he is behaving badly and more to the point he has to know that you will not tolerate it. Once he improves, get him out mixing with other children and away from your coat tails a little. You have to be hard sometimes to be kind.
2006-09-09 12:20:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children learn at a very early age to get what they want and how to go about getting it. It is called manipulation and it is one of the first things a child masters. Say he wants a cookie and you won't give it to him. He starts to scream and scream until you give in. He has now learned in one simple step how to get a cookie when he wants it. If you keep on giving in every time he has a fit, he is just learning behavior that will stay with him well into adulthood. I must recommend a book for you to read. I don't know if it is still in print, but the title is: "When I say no, I feel guilty". You can read it in a very short time and I am certain it will change the way you deal with children or anyone for that matter. I wish I had royalities for all the times I have recommended this book. It sums up in a nutshell what all the psychologists and sociologists say in simple laymens terms.
2006-09-13 06:08:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop allowing him to rule you. You are the adult and if you don't command the respect from him now, he will walk all over you in the years to come. Set boundaries...have a time out chair that is for when he misbehaves. Keep the time short, no more that 5 minutes because that is a life time to a 2 year old. If he throws a tantrum (my daughter use to do it all the time), walk away from him. You need to remain in control.
2006-09-09 12:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahh, yes the terrible twos...I remember them well. You answered your own question within the context of the way it was worded. YOU ARE THE ADULT. Children learn very quickly how to get their own way, and how to boss the parent around. You have to learn to ignore the tantrums. Do not listen and walk away. It will absolutely stab you in the heart to listen to him carrying on, but he will realize very quickly that he cannot boss you around. If you do not get control of this now, how will he be acting when he is an adolescent and you have no control over him.....???? Have a time out chair, place him in it for up to five minutes, demand an apology for bad behaviour and be the boss, not the doormat. If you do allow him to watch tv or videos or listen to cds, take his time of doing these things away. His temper is bad, because he is out of control and you are the adult. It may almost kill you to walk away when he is screaming and crying, but you have to do it, or he will grow up to be a spoiled, screaming, whiny adult male. You do not want your child acting like this. If he pitches a fit in public, leave, take him to the car and home and in the time out chair. Do not fall into the trap of telling him if he is not "good" you will take him out of the restaurant, store, playground and then not do it. He will learn he can push your buttons that way also. No is no and that is it. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I have been a teacher for over twenty-five years and have had to deal with many children who are out of control in the classroom setting because Mom and Dad were and are doormats, and they think they can run over anyone. Grow up and he will grow into a wonderful adult who is an asset to society. Good luck, hang in there and have a good night!
2006-09-09 14:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way can a two year old be hard to handle, I am a dad and a grand dad so I speak from experience also I am a qualified fosterer.
its clear that its you that requires changing, you need to let the child know who is the boss, not by being nasty etc, you have obviously spoilt your son, to a great extent for him to act like that at two. and he is obviously quite bright for catching on at such a young age that you are a soft touch.
often you have to be cruel to be kind, not cruel by hurting but by saying no and meaing it, only let him have treats etc when he is behaving correctly when he is not, remove his treats etc, its impossible to tell you on here how to do it, please really go to your local social care centre etc or welfare or even your GP they will get you in touch with a department which does provide help and train you to be a responsible mother.
If you dont then your son will become much worse thats certain
2006-09-09 12:03:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a smimular problem with my little girl she has total control but i have just started taking it back
i have started having a naughty box and every time she does something wrong i give her 3 warniings then i take a dvdv or toy away at night i count to three ad put her to bed as many times as needed but never say anything after the 2nd time
it is so hard but i have noticed a differnece the other thing could be purly that he is bored get him into a good nursery that will get him using his brain and energy
hope it works good luck
2006-09-13 00:03:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TIME OUTS!. Ignore him when he throws his tantrums. Get him invovled with toys and games and then let him alone with them. He needs to learn to play on his own. My son was a preemie, and he just turned 2 last month, but he was due in Oct and he tries to throw his tantrum and when he does I tell him it is nap time and he calms right down. I also just took my son to his doc for his 2 year check up and she told me no more than 1 1/2 hours of TV per day, and to make sure that he is disciplined when he does wrong so he gets the message that he is not to do what it is he is doing. Without discipline children grow up to be destructive, and not a productive member of society because they don't believe that they will get in trouble for their actions. Prisons are full of people that were not disciplined by their parents.
2006-09-09 12:00:27 · answer #11 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋