What happened to your kids after years of discipline.?

Question

I was wondering how many of you disciplined your children by physical punishment or other means? What I really want to is how they turned out.

I have a friend who's parents are VERY strict.They don't let her see her friends other than at school and they seem to decide everything for her. I'm not sure how they disciplined her for the first years of her life since I just met her a year ago, but she turned out to be a very respectful and responsible person.

Thing is she now resents her parents for these things and cannot wait to move away from them. One example why is that during promotion they did not let her go because she got a B in Geometry, which is already 2 levels above the regular math level. I just want to know how has discipline affected your child?

Answer 1

That sounds a little excessive. Kids need social interaction with the friends outside of school. This is how they learn to deal with people as adults. My mom and dad were strict, but we were allowed to go out with friends. We never ended up in jail or on drugs

Answer 2

Well, I'm still raising my daughter, but so far she's a great kid. She's disciplined, but not smothered and completely controlled. I learned from being raised by my parents that being strict (not overly strict) with children and allowing them some freedoms helps them become responsible adults. Being overly strict can sometimes hurt them as they get older because they have been kept away from being "normal" children and will try almost anything when they get the chance. This can lead to teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse, and violence against others. Finding a good balance between discipline and allowing them freedoms is something I think a lot of parents strive to achieve and many have. Your friend's parents seem to be overbearing and should lighten up a bit.

Answer 3

Mine, for a 13 year old, seems to be doing OK. He got smacked when he was younger, along with being sent to his room, sitting on the naughty chair, having privileges taken away and the rest of it.

He has a strong sense of right and wrong, and respect for other people and property.

What is more, he has earned our trust, because he knows he can lose it. We are quite happy to let him go off with his friends for most of the day if he wants to because of that. I imagine there will be a few run ins before he finally grows up, but that is all part of him becoming his own person. You can never learn to fly if you never stretch your wings.

Answer 4

I was strict on my kids in the way of dad or I tell you do something you do it - no talking back ,do your chores and no I didn't pay them - but they had friends ,went out on dates after they turned 15 had to be home by 10 p.m. no sleepovers or dates on school nights unless it had to do with school. And yes if they need a smack on the bottom they got one until the age of 14 after that no smacks - just grounded them or gave extra chores - out of 6 kids 5 turned out real good the other is messed up -lazy- nasty -worthless parent who drops her kids off where ever she can for as long as she can. so I think I did just fine. From the sound of it your friends parents are to strict but they might have a good reason you don't know about.

Answer 5

My kids are 3 and 5 and I use "time out." I have been consistant with it and when they are in time out I ignore them completely. After it is over we talk about what they did wrong and what behavior needs to change then we hug and kiss and move on. Honestly, I have never once had to spank them. They are pretty well behaved. I believe that it's not just about the discipline you administer but the bond they form with you from infanthood. My kids were never left to cry alone. I met their physical and emotional needs as infants and as toddlers I started showing them right from wrong by example and consistancy. So far things have been good for us and I hope that I continue to make wise disciplinary choices for them.

As a child I was spanked and I resent it. I was a really good kid and my brother was awful. They would often spank both of us out of frustration for his behavior. I don't hate my parents and I am a "good" adult but I think I would have been that way minus the spanking. My mom was always very loving and nurturing so I have always been close to her.

I had a friend who grew up with a belt hanging on the highchair that was used on her and her sister frequently. Her mom and dad were really strict and really hard on her. I always felt bad for her growing up because my mom was so much more loving and patient. My friend and her sister both ended up on drugs and in and out of rehab. She used to tell me that she hated her mom and started having sex at 13 to spite her.

Now these are just some examples of my life. There are people out there who probably weren't disciplined as kids and they are fine adults and there are people out there who were probably beaten as kids who are fine adults. I think as parents we are responsible for being in tune with our kids and disciplining them not by the standards of others, but by what we know is best for them.

Answer 6

I was never punished and I turned out fine.