Is it abuse if I don't let my daughter see her grandmother?

Question

I just recently decided that my mother is doing more harm to my baby than good and I don't want her to go over to her house...my daughter still asks for her and cries when I tell her she can't go. My mother says she talked to her lawyer and that because my baby cries for her it's emotional abuse.....is this true? Will I get in trouble with social services for it?

Answer 1

Abuse is a word that is bandied about for the slightest possible reason these days. A lawyer will say anything if there is a chance he can make money out of it, they are the prostitutes of the professional world.

It may have gone too far to recover, but do you have somebody both you and your mother trust - perhaps another relative - who can mediate. Your mother needs to understand why you will not let her see her granddaughter. The fact that she rushes off to a blood sucking lawyer and threatens you with losing your daughter at the slightest excuse may be a good start point.

Just tell your daughter that it is not possible to see granny for the time being, but you hope things will change in the future.

Answer 2

I think it all depends on the reasons why you chose not to let her see you daughter. If the baby is in danger while in the care of your mother, then I wouldn't think she would have a leg to stand on, but if it's because you had an argument with you mother and you are tying to get back at her I would think she has a case. I guess a lawyer would have to look at the big picture, what's worse, the child crying about missing her grandmother or being exposed to possibly harmful situation. Either way, it might be wise of you to find out what rights grandparents have in your state. Some states support grandparents' rights while others do not. Good luck.

Answer 3

Not if you are protecting her from something. You are doing what you feel is in her best interests. Do not let your mother intimidate you. Stand your ground. You are your daughters mother. Just becasue she cries for her grandma thats not abuse. She is too young to understand why you don't want her over there right now and thats ok. Time will help. It would be great if she could have a good relationship with her grandmother, but not if she is coming to physical or emotional harm. Take care of your daughter and yourself first!! Good Luck.

Answer 4

It's not abuse. Have you ever taken a dangerous object away from your daughter and have seen her cry? Is that abuse as well? It's natural for her to cry. I strongly doubt your mother talked to anyone and is trying to manipulate and intimidate you. Don't fall for it. As her mother, you have the right to decide who your daughter sees and associates with. However, your daughter also has the right to have a relationship with her grandmother. You may want to allow your mother to write to her granddaughter. You will be able to read the letters aloud and screen them first. If you have a speaker phone, you can monitor phone conversations between them. And consider supervised visits in either your home or your mother's. Your mother seems a bit childish but is this something you two can work out for the sake of your family?

Answer 5

Finally some one in my world! My mom is an alcoholic and I will not allow my children to see my mom. My son cried a bit at first but then again she wasn't exactly nice to him either. She never hit him but has hit me and had emotionally abused me for several years. After she decided to not go to rehab (at my expense) and her license revoked, and was getting evicted I told her I could not allow her to harm my children and she wouldn't be able to see them. Everyday she tries to get a hold of me (drunk every time) and yells that she has rights (she doesn't-Grandparents Rights was revoked) and I'm horribly mean and how could I do this to her. Hang in there that's all you can do. DHS will not take your children away or make you take them to your mom. You are their mom and a good one too for being concerned for their well being. An example....they want that pretty bottle under the sink and they cry and throw a temper tanatrum because they cant have it? Is it emotional abuse? Of course not you are protecting them and with the right reasoning they will understand and tantrums will cease.

Answer 6

Having a mellow dramatic mother as well to deal with I understand and feel your pain! You are baby's mother, you are responsible for shielding her from people you feel are not in her best interest, or can do her any form of harm ( that includes emotional too). You have your reasons for your decisions, as long as your making your decision based on logic,reason, and it has nothing to do with a personal battle between you and Grandmother then your probably making the best decision.

If at all possible allow G-mom to see baby in your presence only, if not continue to do what you feel is best for Baby. If you can sleep at night w/your decision, more than likely it's the right thing to do.

Answer 7

i am a grandmother of three,what did your mother do that was so wrong .that made you decide to not let your baby see her grandmother ,yes there is a thing called grandparents right.yes she can take you to court but that does not mean that she would win it depends on what she did or doing to your child, i say you and your mom need to talk and and tell her how you fill .it iappears that your child misses her grand mother.the baby is the one who is suffering in this i am right and your are wrong mess between you and your mother .someone has to stop this for the child.i wish you the best on what ever happen but most of all i wish the best for your baby.lots of luck

Answer 8

Believe it or not I am going through a similar situation. Unfortunately we cannot pick family but we can choose our friends. Sometimes family can be more harmful than non relatives. I would still let your daughter see your her grandmother, but you can do it in other ways. Is there someone you trust that can take the visit rather than you? It is always good to let children stay neutral when it comes to adult spats. They will grow up and find out things on their own. Otherwise your child will blame you, for not letting her see her grandmother.

Answer 9

There isn't enough information in you question. You say your mother is doing more harm than good. What harm is she doing? and is it really harmful to your baby, or you? Without knowing the full situation, all I can say is make sure you're not using your inocent child as a weapon to your mom. Obviously your mom isn't hurting (physically) your child because your child wants to see her grandma. Look at your child crying and decide if it's really worth it.

Answer 10

Ok, If you have a good enough reason to stop her seeing YOUR child then there is no case, but they might make you give her supervised access, witch means she will have to see her evry say once a week, it is unfair on the child not to see her, how about letting her come over say once a week for a cupple of hours but you your terms, you are there all the time, untill you trust her again, this is your child, you tell her that this is why she is having this and if she loves her grandchild then she must stick to it, as you have let her see at at least a hour a week she cant do anything, if she turns it down thats her folt, but if she dose do somthing out of line then you have the right to ask her to leave.