2006-09-09 10:28:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Parents should share the benefit of their wisdom and experience when they are asked and when they see a need.
It is extremely important for parents to respect the independence of their children and allow them to call their own shots.
It is tempting for parents to perceive their children as as toddlers and teens rather than adults. In this case the parents involve themselves in the decision making of their children, just as they did when they picked their clothes for them in elementary school or their friends in Jr. High.
The parents role is advisor, counselor, listener and supporter. They are so very crucial to the full adult development of their chilren.
2006-09-09 10:35:16 · answer #1 · answered by Bruce Frazier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends...are the 'grown' children still living at home? If so, house rules belong to the parents.
If, however, the grown children are out on their own and responsible adults, then advice can be given by the parents, with the understanding that it may not be followed. This especially is true for raising their own children....unless there is a serious health, illegal, or other type of life threatening problem...then they have an obligation to step in.
2006-09-09 10:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by VodkaTonic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will consider my son an adult when he reaches the age of 21. At that time I will only get involved in his decisions if he asks for my help or advice.
I have every intention in being involved in his decision making process until the age of 21. Then I will relinquish control.
I was 21 when I quit involving my parents in my decisions. It was really hard on both of them but they got over it...eventually.
I know a lot of people consider 18 to be an adult. I am sure that my son will use that argument with me in the future, however, I am sticking to my guns until his 21st birthday.
So...in answer to your question...the extent of parental involvement, once a child is an adult, in the decision making process should be minimal.
The only exceptions to this would be when an abuse, crime or accident occurs. By abuse I mean self-abuse, abuse of a child (my future grandchild), spousal abuse. Then I would step in without waiting for an invitation.
2006-09-09 10:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by Sister Cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they shouldnt be. If asked for advice, then they can say something, but the children should make their decisions. My parents always try to tell me what to do or not to do, and I stopped listening a long time ago. If you want your children to listen when they need real advice, don't get involved with their decisions. I know it caused a rip b/w my parents and me. Hope this helps at all....
2006-09-09 10:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by brknarrow23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a grown child, with grown children of my own, i do not believe parents should be involved at all, unless they are asked. this causes so much misunderstanding, parents still trying to run their child's life. It is so wrong.
2006-09-09 11:09:05 · answer #5 · answered by PEPPER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 5 grown children that have children of their own. If my children ask me for my opinion then my wife and I will give them our opinion. Other than that we keep our noses out of their business as much as we can. We know what is happening with all our kids, but we keep our mouths quiet unless asked. Even though we discuss it between ourselves. We are lucky to have kids that open up to us and share what is going on in their lives as we share what is happening in ours. BUT, there are things about us that we do not share because honestly it is none of their business. Make sense?
2006-09-09 11:05:15 · answer #6 · answered by morris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as little as possible, but of course it depends on the decision. If either of my adult children decided that they wanted to do something illegal I would be pretty strenuous in trying to dissuade them. But otherwise, I allow them the respect they deserve as adults and only give advice when asked.
I have to bite my tongue sometimes but that's the best way, I feel.
2006-09-09 10:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lenky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to give your opinion and offer advice, but it should end there. If it involves the welfare of grandchildren or even the welfare of said children, then be more persistent, but let your child be his/her own person. We all learn from mistakes, and if we don't get the opportunity to make them then we don't learn!
2006-09-09 10:36:28 · answer #8 · answered by kimmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They should get involved when their grown children feel they need to get involved.
2006-09-09 10:42:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say if they ask for help then help them out or give them little solutions, but sometimes you just have to let them make decisions on their owns so they could learn from their mistakes.
2006-09-09 10:38:25 · answer #10 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋