I have a 10 year old who was hit by a car in 2004 in the front of his school. Now my son is a hansome young man, and yet he feels as if he's ugly. He my pride and joy and I love him but I dont think I'm reaching him. He's as smart as the come and blessed at that. They gave my son 2 hours to live and if you were to see him now, you wouldn't believe it, until you get up close and see the scars. I have told he he's loved and everything a mother could....and I missing something?
2006-09-09 10:07:57 · 10 answers · asked by bzaj2002 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
for the one that said ha-ha-ha....God Bless You because you need him... What makes him special is because even after all of this he still get good grades and he awants to learn, and help other little boys and girls smile even when he feels bad. Yes, he has the video games, and the movies...He still has therapy and the speech and occupational therapy. He's special because he's my gift from God, thats what makes him special. He's not in Special Education in school. He's in 5th grade with a regular class. He just gets extra time to finish his work. he cant play ball or climp anything because of his injury. I tell him I love him daily...I just want to make sure I'm not missing anything. It's hard being a parent, I just want to make him feel like he matters you know.
2006-09-09 10:31:58 · update #1
Your son will only have one mom, and you have an awesome responsibility in this endeavor. Parenting is never easy, what may seem as the cause of an MVA may be just growing up--adolescence.
What your son needs is to hear that you love him--unconditionally. What your son needs is to continue receiving hugs and kisses from you--Mom. And most importantly, he needs you to listen--again unconditionally. Sometimes listening is not solving problems.
I do not think you are missing something--I think your son has everything he needs right next to him--HIS MOM....
2006-09-09 10:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by Teacher Man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the subject is, being sinful and rebellious is basically the way human beings are (relatively toddlers!) I actual have a concept that God intentionally designed Adam and Eve that way. He KNEW they had consume the fruit as quickly as his lower back grew to become into grew to become. It grew to become into like leaving a 4-3 hundred and sixty 5 days-previous on my own in a room with a marriage cake. think of how history may well be distinctive if Adam and Eve -hadn't- eaten the fruit! There could have been no tale there. basically 2 appropriate human beings residing invariably in a secular paradise. The Bible could be 2 pages long. And something human beings could in no way have been born! yet actual your test has been tried, in a manner. interior the middle a while, religious pupils argued over what language Adam and Eve spoke interior the backyard of Eden. They did experiments the place babies have been raised with the help of deaf mutes on islands so as that they would not in any respect hear human language. They estimated the babies to enhance up speaking the unique language of Eden. It did no longer artwork, nonetheless.
2016-12-18 07:37:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His recovery is miraculous. His life is miraculous. His courage and experience can help others similarly situation.
Every scar that a person has tells a story. His scars are badges, trophies of his experiences and licenses to give testimony and advice to others.
Those close to him can help him if they can show him how to turn a lemon situation into lemonade.
His survival has an obvious purpose. It could be to provide hope to others.
2006-09-09 10:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by Bruce Frazier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your son's accident.
You mentioned brain injury...is he left impaired compared to before in his functioning, or is he just feeling bad about the scars?
Is he going to school and getting crap from other kids?
If it's other kids who are being obnoxious then I wouldn't reply
to him with comments about how okay he really is. I think that just makes a kid feel even more like he's got something to explain away, when really it is the cruelty and stupidity of the teasers that needs to be explained away.
But whatever the specifics of his complaints are,
I recommend a book called "how to talk to kids so they'll really listen and listen so they'll really talk" by Faber and Mashlish (not sure of spelling). It gives great advice in general on how to deal with self-esteem issues. One of their tips is to not try and 'solve' the kid's problem for him...not to say things like you are fine so stop being down on yourself, but rather echo their feelings.
Especially these powerful feelings he must have, the dear child. Almost killed,left with scars, just at the age when boys and girls start that whole dance of attraction. I can imagine tears of joy might come if you echo his feelings back to him when he feels down..him: "mom, i feel so ugly", you: "you worry about your appearance since the accident". him: "yeah, I do. what if the girls don't want to have anything to do with me?" you: "you'd like to have a girlfriend someday, huh?" him: "yes I would. But I guess appearance isn't everything. I'm funny and smart and nice, even with my scars"
I don't mean to imply that this is the kind of conversation you'd have, or in what context he 'feels ugly' or self-conscious,
but that this style of interaction...where he says his strong feeling, and instead of negating it by spilling your heart about how much you love him and think he's great, you merely echo his feelings, be restating them gently, so he sees that you accept his feelings and understand them. And then he can come up with the words himself about how he's really okay and wonderful and special (with a little scaffolding from you, and knowing how well he's loved by you and blessed he is), and he'll believe it in a revelational new way because he thought of it himself, I hope for you!
that "how to talk.." book is great for *everyone* to get hints on how to get all sorts of messages to a child and learn what he's going through too..
good luck!
2006-09-09 10:36:37 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Build on his strong points. Not his physical attributes but why he is so special. Is he smart, can he read well? I she patient, can he play a game well, video game anything.And has been socializing. IT sounds like he needs to start integrating with others.
2006-09-09 10:11:50 · answer #5 · answered by loladoreen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a cyst on my brain removed four years ago, I'm lucky to be alive so I somewhat know how he's feeling, it's probably just a stage that he's going through but you might want to consider getting him counseling
2006-09-09 10:13:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why he feel that he is nothing. I thought you were gonna write that he is now deformed in some way. Please tell me why he feels this way. Maybe the hit is causing seritonin imbalances in his brain and just needs to take some anti-depressants.
PS: Im very sorry that happend
2006-09-09 10:13:43 · answer #7 · answered by Casey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him Jesus loves him and he does have a purpose to be here and god has kept him her for a reason.and you be encourage tell him about the lord and pray with him.if you have done all that then you are doing good.hang in their and stay focus on the lord let him tell you what you should be doing know one else god bless
2006-09-09 10:13:55 · answer #8 · answered by nicole o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
could it be adolescence...is he still in therapy..I mean physical and or occupational...when patents make strides in these departments they feel very good about themselves
2006-09-09 10:21:59 · answer #9 · answered by DeeDee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
constant encourgement..........as he grows older and understands the world around him better it will get better.......but till then your doing the right thing......just keep it up......good for you hun!.........ppls like you give parents a good name...;-)
2006-09-09 10:14:24 · answer #10 · answered by scotdic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋