She meet him on the internet , he told her he was 21 then after he felt they had feels for each other, he told her he was 30. She was 17 at that time. He was told at the time to not come here and and he then moved here with no job. His mother is helping him with money to stay in a hotel till he gets a real job and place to live. My daughter no longer talks to her father (they had problems before this) we have trouble communicating and I see her pulling away from all her friends in school. She is a Senior this year and she is going to miss out on a lot of memories.
2006-09-09 10:06:06 · 27 answers · asked by n051383 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He can be arrested and charged with statutory rape if anything physical has gone on between them, and the age difference here means he is in violation of the law due to her being under age 18. While you still have the authority as her parent you can file for a restraining order to keep him away from her and if you don't , child protection services do have the right to get involved and even remove her from your home if they feel you are not doing your job as a parent to protect her yourself.
2006-09-09 10:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Assuming that the daughter met the man at age 17 and is now 18 or more, the parent's role is limited to advice. There are are no legal recourses other than parental influences.
While it is unusual, it is not impossible for such a relationship to have a happy ending.
An eleven or 12 year age difference at this end of the spectrum will be hard pressed to to avoid colliding with failure.
A parent whose child has reached majority age should lean heavily upon parental influences, which work best for those who have been good parents.
However, if trust has been breached between daughter and parents, then communicating will be difficult.
Prayer will be the most logical next step. Any action take wouuld not be seen in a positive light.
2006-09-09 10:16:55 · answer #2 · answered by Bruce Frazier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of good answers here. I take it from your description though that your daughter is now 18, which will prevent the local police from taking action.
If I were in your place, one of the things I would do right away is check to see if this man has a criminal record of any kind in his home state. It is quite possible he's running from something, and I think you need to find out. If he has a record, you and the father should confront here with the evidence together. If there's a warrant for the arrest of this man, take THAT information to the local police.
2006-09-09 10:34:08 · answer #3 · answered by Jay S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom- You need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your daughter. You can't just say "Stay away from him", this will only make her push YOU away. Instead, talk to her about how you feel about it and what you would like to see done. Ask her what she sees in him, what is attractive about him. She is at the age now that you can't just tell her what to do, you have to let her make SOME of her own decisions with a little guidance from you. I am a 21 year old female and have had disagreements with my own mother as well. I have not been through this particular problem, but I see that she is just wanting love and attention from someone--anyone. Maybe she feels that you aren't giving her the attention she needs or maybe she is wanting her father around more? She is confused about life and who she is. Just talk to her and see what's going on. If she won't talk, and won't reason with you-- then call the cops and get them involved.
2006-09-09 10:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by AZ_Nanny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd ask the local cops to run a background check on him. It sounds like he is not very trustworthy, and is likely either a con artist, or very abusive and controlling. Your best bet is to get your husband to calm down, and involve him in your life until you and your daughter can see just what kind of a person he really is. but don't let him near your bank books or credit cards. And make sure your daughter uses birth control.
2006-09-09 10:14:55 · answer #5 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know this is not good. He must be disposed of, he is probably menatlly ill and your daughter will not see until it is too late. She is having enough trouble coping, he will only permanently affect the life of a young lady who is at one of the most vulnerable times of her life. How can she stand up to him when she is obviously trying to decide who she is? She is pulling away from you because she is looking for answers about her own life. Do not let this irresponsible and disrespectful jackass make those decisions for her.
2006-09-09 10:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by bad kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be understanding if you cannot be supportive, the more you object the further you will pushe her away. It is a choice she will have live with and learn from. You can also set some ground rules for him such as he is not wellcomed to home until he can prove to you that he is a resposible person and truly loves your daughter but if breaks his trust with you then he is no longer wellcomed to your home again.
2006-09-09 10:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by Hawaii808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...it seems to me you need to take her and talk to him, Him moving there with no job is his issue, yours is making sure your daughter has nothing to do with him. she's 17 and he's 30 something is wrong with that picture. Call who ever you need to, tell the police what you're saying to us. Talk to you daughter. She's still a minor and that counts for something.
2006-09-09 10:24:10 · answer #8 · answered by bzaj2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her what does she think he wants from her? because he is probably just using her. and if she says he loves me than say how do you know? hmmm? did he ever say i love you or kiss you or hug you or cheer you up while your sown. and don't you care about your senior year and all your memories and all the good times your gonna miss out on if you date this guy. i remember that chat from my mom cause i had the same thing liked this guy and i knew he was probably using me but i didn't care and then my mom had the chat and i woke up its like i woke up from that horrible dream and boy I'm glad that she did cause other wise i would have done something i would regretted
2006-09-09 10:17:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most situations like this, i would recemond you not getting too involved in her life, since you and your daughter are growing further away. But seeing that her entire life is going down because of this man, you should probably talk to you daughter, really talk to her. Tell her everything you feel about her dating an older man. She is porbably doing this because she needs something more in her life, try to figure out what that is and then try to give it to her.
2006-09-09 10:13:22 · answer #10 · answered by Answer Givererer. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋