My first child is a boy and I waited almost 8 years before I had my second child. I really hoped that I would have a girl, because I love anything pink, fuzzy, and girly, and I was thrilled that I ended up having a girl. My husband had 2 daughters and a son from his first marriage and was hoping that I would give him another son, and was in fact a little disapointed when the sonagram showed I was in fact giving him his 3rd daughter. I want to be able to do all the little girl things with my daughter, who is now 2 1/2, like play Barbies, play with dolls, have tea parties, dress up. My husband seems determined to turn her into a tomboy. He wants to take her hunting and fishing with him, and would rather dress her in camo or bluejeans than in girly clothes. He has had the chance to raise both daughters and sons, and has 2 boys now to take hunting and fishing. I want him to let me have my little girl. I have only raised a boy. How do I make him stop trying to make her be a tomboy?
2006-09-09 09:48:01 · 21 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I guess my problem with him doing this is that, this is the only daughter that I am ever going to have. My mom had a ball doing all these girly things with me growing up and this is my one chance to do them with my daughter. My husband has 4 other kids to do the boy type stuff with, he is just doing this to aggrivate me. I realize that girls can do this stuff too, but what I mean is that he wants her to grow up not doing tipical girl things, like dress up, wearing play makeup, playing babydolls.
2006-09-09 09:57:25 · update #1
I grew up as the kid in this situation (sort of). I'm an only child. My dad is a big boisterious good old boy and my mom was raised in catholic boarding school (go figure). I think I had the best of both worlds. I went hunting and fishing with my dad and played tea party, and dress up with my mom. I had dolls, and barbies, and erector sets, and hotwheels. I wore jeans and eyelet lace dresses. The thing is they both spent time with me and never forced me to do anything. If I didn't want to go fishing, my dad didn't make me. If I didn't want to wear a dress, my mom didn't make me. Unless it was picture day. I was allowed to grow up the way I wanted to and I think I'm the better for it. I can communicate well with men and women. I watch football with the guys, and can talk about team recruiting, and coaching strategies. I also love shopping with my girls. Let your daughter be who she is going to be. For your husband, this is probably how he knows to bond with his children. It's better that he's trying than not there.
2006-09-10 00:45:08 · answer #1 · answered by Gabe S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have just described every dad in the world. Just because he wants her to be a tomboy doesn't mean she will be. Just because you want her to wear dresses and play with barbies doesn't mean she will. Give the guy a break, we all have expectations as parents and sometimes we have to compromise. My daughter loves to wear dresses and carry purses and shop for shoes, but she can't wait for her Saturday mornings with her daddy when they go fishing or to a ball game. That's the beauty of being a child, being able to try on all the cool things in life and see what fits.
2006-09-09 11:27:31 · answer #2 · answered by disneychick 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't MAKE her either a tomboy or a girlie-girl.
You both sound kind of selfish. What does your DAUGHTER enjoy?
And you know what? She likes to spend time alone with both of you. If her daddy likes to hunt and fish, and she likes to go with him, great. Think of all the skills she's learning and the relationship with her father that she's building. Those are things that will make her successful in school/work and relationships.
And if she wants to play dolls and have tea parties with you, that's great, too.
Dressing one way or another, or playing with certain kinds of toys, or engaging in sports or whatever, won't change her basic personality. You want to raise her so that she loves who she IS. And that means you guys should do that, too.
Plus, a child's clothing should be appropriate to the situation. It's one thing to doll a little girl up for Christmas or something, but at school or at play she should wear clothes that allow her to PLAY. There's nothing worse than having your activity crimped by stupid clothing or footwear choices.
2006-09-09 09:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by Yarro Pilz 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
We have done both with our kids. My oldest is 17 now, but when she was younger everyone would laugh because she could go from baiting a hook to painting her nails so easily. She loved to fish and hunt and spend time with my husband, but she also loved to wear makeup, have her nails done and play with dolls.
My youngest is 4 and she seems to be such a girl most of the time, she only likes to wear pink, she thinks she is a princess, she loves tea parties. But man does she like to be outside fishing, camping, and playing around with dad too.
She can be both and be really well rounded.
2006-09-09 17:53:35 · answer #4 · answered by curls 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think she is going to feel left out if she is not taken on trips with her father? no matter what the activity is? My husbands first daughter loves fishing, and she isn't a tomboy. I put jeans, jean overalls and dress and skirts on our 14 month old daughter, what she wears doesn't make her who she is. As long as she is active and healthy, then that is what matters, and at 4 years old she isn't a tomboy, and you can play barbies and teaparty till you are blue in the face, she may still turn out to not want to wear pink frilly things and wear make up. It will be her decision in the end.
2006-09-09 09:59:20 · answer #5 · answered by o0xmmx0o 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't she can do both. My daughter is 2 1/2 and she can be the ultimate tomboy and she can also be a girly girly. If she likes what daddy and brothers are doing then way take that from her. You can show her that she can do both and be both.
2006-09-09 09:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by medevilqueen 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him honestly about it if it bothers you that much. But, all in all let him spend time with his daughter how he chooses. You will have plenty of time with her to pamper her and teach her girly things. There is nothing wrong with a girl knowing how to hunt and fish and then being able to go home and doll herself up. Girls can be both tomboyish and girly girls - they don't have to be one or the other.
2006-09-09 09:51:04 · answer #7 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I'd say don't stop him. Do you know how many problems that child is going to have if she's one out of three that can't hold her own? I'd say let him teach her what he wants to teach her and you do the same. That way she'll have the best of both worlds. Or rather, how about you let her decide. She'll like what she likes, whether you want her to or not, really. She's a living being with a personality all her own.
2006-09-09 09:52:03 · answer #8 · answered by Stefan 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
take her out shopping, buy her girly stuff but also let ur husband take her out fishing and all those stuff.. kids need to participate in all activities come on i'm a girl and i love doing everything, i'm not girly girly pink and fuzzy i'm normal and never ever a tomboy- girls speak for herself u cant make ur daughter like girly girly stuff, maybe she likes to do adventourous activiies
2006-09-09 09:54:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Allowing her to experience both the feminine outlook from you and the masculine from her dad, will GREATLY enhance your daughter's life. It will make her stronger, more self assured, etc. etc. Thank your lucky stars she has a great dad that wants to participate in her life. She will be a very well-rounded, secure individual if you step back and allow this healthy relationship with her dad. You will just alienate her, and maybe your husband, too, if you try to interfere.
2006-09-09 09:55:22 · answer #10 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋