i am just wondering something. my father,and my best friend a little bit, they are alweays putting it in my head that i wil NEVER be able to find a man that wants tomarry me. this is due to the fact that i will have two children, from two different fathers. i know that sometimes sounds bad. but thngs dont always go the way they are supposed to in life. also, the babyh that i am due to have in january (which will be the second child) is "quattrune" (i learned that term. basiclaay, it means i am white and the father is bi racial [black and white mixed] ) soo.. whati am asking. do men aout there really truly think that tis is so wrong? honest opinions please. to how many guys out there would this type of situationmake you turnthe other way from having a relationship with me? or any other woman in this situation? and why? i honestly thnk that i will fnd the right man who will liove me AND my kids for who we are and not any other factor inour genes will matter.
2006-09-09 09:22:05 · 19 answers · asked by lindsy m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
pleasre only honest, non-judgmental answers.its only a question.
2006-09-09 09:22:31 · update #1
hey now..lol.. i can spell.. just not type!! :)
2006-09-09 09:32:25 · update #2
another question: how is a woman seen as a slut even when she was in an actual relationship with the "dads" and it just didnt workout? and the kids are ( or will be ) 3 1/2 years apart. how do people know that this woman was only with those men in her life?? ( not EXACTLY my situation.. but justsaying..) why is it always assumed that the woman is a slut?
2006-09-09 09:45:37 · update #3
That's a bunch of crap there telling you,don't believe a word of it.Just because you have two kids won't stop a man from marring you and loving your kids as well.So what if one has a black father,you know for yourself there's nothing wrong with him and you love him just as much as your first.If your so-called friend and father want nothing to do with him,so be it and move on and away from them.It's there loss,not yours or your child.Let it be a lesson to you that racism still lives in the hearts of many of any form and size,the two of them just proved it.You'll find another man just like you found the others,pay that narrow minded thinking not another thought.Live life by your terms only.Love is always out there for you,go find it for your children and yourself.good luck
2006-09-09 09:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is possible that you find a decent guy. However that will be hard seeing the choices youve made in your past. To many guys, you would look like a slut. And as far as what you said, "but thngs dont always go the way they are supposed to in life", thats not an excuse, you made the choice to have sex with these men and now you are reaping the consequences, unless you were raped, which was not your fault and then i feel bad for you, which if that were the case, a good man would be understanding of that situation and not hold it against you. But if it is because of your own actions, most men will be very leary of it because they will think you are a slut. But if you have changed your ways for good, there will be a man out there that will overlook your past. There is someone for everyone. So ignore your father and find a new best friend. If you look, you will find someone that will marry you.
2006-09-09 09:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by cob32187 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To ask if you will find a man who will love and respect you despite everything else is asking us to predict the future, however asking how men, in the general sense feel about the situation is entirely different, Now it is very possible that you can and will find a man who will love you no matter what and love the children like his own, it is dependent upon many things most of all his maturity, and morality. Myself I never judge someone by their past or the results there in for I would not wish to be judged by such either so I would have no problems with dating and even marrying a woman who already has children.
2006-09-09 09:27:55 · answer #3 · answered by vicolstravnos 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i imagine I supply sturdy and undesirable solutions. i'm judgmental each so often, each body is. yet i imagine you're going to get various critiques/judgments once you ask questions about an open communicate board (no longer that that provides an excuse for persons to be impolite). also, various it relies upon on how the question is requested and then how that's interrupted. each so often people will answer something way more desirable harshly than i'll and then different circumstances its any opposite direction round because we examine the question otherwise. So convinced, i have examine judgmental solutions and idea "who cares/why are they being so harsh". yet actual, i have probably given some too. sturdy question in spite of the reality that!
2016-11-25 22:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every answer is a judgement. You just don't want judgements that are negative to you.
Will a man love you and your children? It is possible but unknown. It depends on the man. There is no magic way to find those men.
You do realize that you could give this second child up for adoption. I am not saying that you should. But, if you and the people around you blame this child for things beyond its control, then I wouldn't want to grow up in such an environment.
2006-09-09 09:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by Your Best Fiend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the kind of person you'll meet. Some guys wont want to be with someone who has kids already and some wont care. There are others who might like the idea of raising kids even if they're theirs or not. Just remember that there is always someone out there who wont care that you have kids from previous relationships. Whether you meet him or not is up to chance.
2006-09-09 09:35:10 · answer #6 · answered by zooba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,.for a start your BEST friend and DAD are saying to you that you will never find a man to marry,.my god,.you need a new best friend and dad. How dare they tell you this,.these kind of negative remarks do no one any good,.especially you,.dont listen to them. I dont know your social life,.but if you dont have one,..i would get one,.quickly. You did not state the age of your first kid?. If he/she is quite young,.start going out to playgroup things.this will introduce you to more people,..my god,.even going a walk gets you out to talk to people. On the other hand if your social life is good and you do get out,.then good,.but maybe you are going to the wrong places,mixing with the wrong people,.basically,.start thinking of YOU,.just for a wee while,.your kid(s) are important,.of course they are,.but cant your BEST friend or,dad not watch the kids for a while,.go out enjoy,.the right man ,.WILL come by.,.because,.if the right guy does does come along,.you will know,because the kids wont matter to him,.it wont matter if the kids are white ,.black or purple,.as i said you will know,.guys are either good or bad with kids,.and no,.it would not matter a bit to me,.if i fell in love with you,.that would mean falling in love with your kids,.because they are part of you. Dont get me wrong,.this dream guy might ,.and probably will have questions,.as long as you feel prepared to answer them to this guy,.then i can see it working. Anywho,.your last paragraph is right,.it doesnt,.and shouldnt matter,.best of luck I hope i wasn't too judgemental
2006-09-09 10:04:13 · answer #7 · answered by davie y 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right to think the way you are. There is a man or men who will love you for who you are. You may have to look out side the normal place you usually look to find him but he is there. The opinions of your father and best friend are just that opinions...if you listen to them you will certain to fail.....follow what you know to be true......not everyone is as closed minded as your father and best friend......nother thing might wanna think about another best friend.....cant change your father though......GL
2006-09-09 09:30:40 · answer #8 · answered by scotdic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay, ot be honest, it is sort of a turn off, because speaking for me, ladies always will have a connection to a guy that they didn't think highly enough to have around and have the baby with. it's the baby-mama-drama thing. it's difficult with one dad who can be an ******, let alone two. however, if you know how to treat your man, are honest and have no feelings for your past relationships, there may me hope.
2006-09-09 09:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by Angry Insightful Black 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you meet the man you will love and marry. I'm sure it won't matter about your children. He will love them as he would you. Be careful on what you listen to. Cuz your daddy and your supposedly best friend are dishing out some bad advice. Love knows no color.
2006-09-09 09:28:16 · answer #10 · answered by 2cute4u 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋