I have a problem. It's been a long time now, but some years ago I made promise to God, one that I seem forced to break. After having five near fatal car accidents in a 3 month period, and immediatly after the 5th one, I asked God to lend me the strength to get home one last time, and I would never drive again, not unless it was a matter of life and death. I've stuck to my word, despite pressure from friends and family to take up the wheel again, that it was just a fluke, etc. Now, I have recently found a new job after being unemployed for some months. I live with my retired mother, ad she has been good enough to give me a ride to work and pick me up. The arrangement seemed fine. However, my mom has become sick from doing too much, the direct cause being driving me to work. Long story made short, she is retired and can't do much without irritating her arm, which has no protection from diseases due to cancer and surgeries. As she is now, the iritation caused by the driving will have her lain up for days at best, and it could be fatal at it's worse. I'm worried sick over her, and the guilt is driving me up the wall. I called in last night, and am due back for the third shift tonight. If I miss work again, I'm sure to be terminated, but there is no way to get there unless I drive. This job has made me very unpopular with my friends, and threatens to leave me without health insurance (i was on free health care which is in danger of being revorked since i have a job, which does not give health benefits) threatens my mother's health, and now requires me to drive, the one thing I swore I would never do again. I don't know if this is God's way of telling me to lsoe this job, or his way of getting me to drive again, since it could be said it is threatening my mother's life by driving me. I just don't know what to do.
2006-09-09 07:43:17 · 33 answers · asked by bookwormbabe29 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Bless your heart, child.
Ask God to give you some confirmation.
For instance: another way to work (carpool, taxi, bus service, church member, etc.).
If this job is the one He has planned for you to have, nothing will stand in the way of your having it. But, if it's not His plan, you'll never get anywhere with it.
Being unemployed may seem like the worst thing in the world, but it ain't. It's better to trust God's provision than to break out on your own & make matters worse for yourself & loved ones.
I'll be praying for your guidance.
2006-09-09 07:59:48 · answer #1 · answered by azar_and_bath 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Keep your promise to God. That is very important. In the meantime, keep asking God for guidance. If you don't have a valid drivers license, then don't drive, as it will get you into more trouble. Too bad that your Mother is sick. Can you ride a bike to work ? or do you have a brother/sister/neighbor you can ask? I suppose it is too far to walk ?? I really don't think your Mothers life is in jeperody from driving. She needs to be storng and get up to help you again. I had the same problem, but in time it does get better with the arm problem. I think you should ask your Mom again. She will help you! If it is not to far from your job, then use someone's bike. There has got to be a way for you. I know if I were your Mother, I would drive you to work. Probably , she is to protective of her arm. I know all about that type of a problem. I continued to be active and if your Mom does not stay active , she will become worse. So Get UP MOM and Drive.
2006-09-09 10:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there are a couple things to look at here...
1. God is aware that the promise not to drive "bargain" came from you, not from God, during a period of trauma in your life. I don't think God would hold you to a promise like this, and God who is a loving God would probably love to see you grow spiritually beyond this point.
2. You don't say what was causing these accidents. Maybe you really should not be driving. If there is a physical cause (see a doctor for confirmation), then you may qualify to be considered disabled. Possibly then you can get assistance and services from Vocational Rehabilitation.
3. Let's assume that this series of accidents was co-incidental. If this is the case, you are probably experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder and need a series of counseling sessions. Your traumatic response may actually lie at the basis of your promise to God to never drive again.
4. If driving again is really impossible in your life (after you really explore this with a doctor and counselor and mininster), then you need to take responsibility for this situation and either locate a job you can get to by walking or the bus and you should not make your mother responsible for your promise to God.
Meanwhile, I think you need to have a conversation about this with your boss. Perhaps you can car pool with someone and save your job. If not, you need to face matters and be upfront about what is going on with you.
Please talk with a pastor as well about your understanding of God--sounds like you need some good spiritual counseling as well as friend along the way if your mother is ill and you are unable to take on the task of driving. Sounds like you both need a good support net around you.
Good luck to you in this difficult situation!
2006-09-09 09:08:32 · answer #3 · answered by Ponderingwisdom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bookworm, this is a very conflicting situation. Your desire not to drive is very understandable. Did you have any counseling after your accidents? Without knowing it you may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress - which could also impede your decision to drive.
Remember, God wants what is in our highest good and best interest. You made a promise to God - but that does not neccisarily mean he expects you to keep that promise for ever - if it is destroying your life or ruining your mothers health. (Remember the comandment: Honor thy mother and father?) You are right that you should not be putting your mothers health in danger for the sake of your job.
My suggestion: Find a job that is within walking/bus distance. Sort out the health care issue. Does it pay more not to work and keep your health care? Or is it more reasonable to find a job that pays & provides benefits? Right now the monetary benefit of your job is low compared to the cost it is having on your mother and yourself.
Things take time and patience, don't force yourself to drive if you aren't ready. God loves you and does not want you to suffer.
2006-09-09 07:55:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you made a promise to God Not to drive unless it's a matter of Life and death as you said. You also said your Mom is deathly ill and you might have to drive because she can't or it might kill her. I think you answered your own question. It is a matter of your mother's life that you drive so she can get better. God knows you need a job to survive, he also knows you need transportation to that job. First you shouldn't make such foolish vows. You should have praised God for keeping you safe through the five accidents. Maybe that's all he wanted. your acknowledgment. Some times he puts us on our backs so we will slow down and look up. When we make Vows to God they should be heart felt not at the drop of the hat. A vow should be made in seriousness and faithfulness not out of desperation. It should be well thought out and something we want to achieve for spiritual growth.
2006-09-09 08:00:15 · answer #5 · answered by Nun Ya 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The promise you made was to a being who exists only in your mind. The delusions of faith are hindering you from living a free and independent life. I don't mean to sound judgmental because I don't know your circumstances completely. I don't understand how you can enjoy not having the freedom to go as you please and do for yourself as you NEED to. It's no fun having to depend on others for chauffeur you around to run errands like grocery shopping, doctor visits, etc. I can understand driving could be a fearful experience for you... but you really need to get over it and stop using your "promise to God" as a cop out. You and your mother desperately need you to be the driver now.
2006-09-09 08:32:21 · answer #6 · answered by atheist_2_u 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a matter of life or death for your mom, I don't think God would think you broke your promise if you drove to work at least until she got better. It sounds like you don't like that job, don't try to justify quitting because God is making you keep your promise. I don't think that applies, since your mom's life is in danger. Longer term, you should keep looking for another job you can get to by walking or public transportation, or take more driving lessons.
2006-09-09 08:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by Eric 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well god aside....I think you are a grown woman that is responsible for you own destiny....no one should stop you from being independent....especially reckless drivers (or maybe you are one of the reckless drivers)
I don't think the idea of you quiting your job because of a promise you made to "god" is a good idea,
If you think you can quit your job because you won't drive or your friends won't talk to you then that is bull, I pay my taxes and if you don't work when you are able to work then all you are doing is living off my hard work....
I work full time and can't get health insurance but I don't quit my job just to qualify for health insurance (yes I have a medical condition and back medical bills because of no insurance but I STILL WORK)
Sounds like you are selfish and need to grow up...stress on people with illness can hinder the healing process...think about your mom and give her a brake!
2006-09-09 08:00:16 · answer #8 · answered by USuck79 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aum, in case you relatively are taking part in extreme at present, then i shall answer Siriusly (oops! i slipped into humor for a 2nd)...on a similar time as God's Love is unfastened for all, nevertheless a cost would desire to be paid: the dissolution of the ego that separates us from that Love, from source, or All it extremely is. this may be a extensive undertaking, to lose the fake self and merge with Love and easy-weight. First, one would desire to alter into conscious that one is asleep. no longer an hassle-free job. as quickly as this often happening step is taken, then comes the stressful area...the dismantling, which for many is an extremely long technique. yet, the treasure to be uncovered is very well worth the fee. i'm Sirius
2016-09-30 12:35:43 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take responsibility for your own actions! Don't blame anything on some god. That is a cop out. Can't you drive safely? I'd say you need to learn to drive and straighten up. Leave your poor mother out of this. You are showing her no respect having her drive you to and from work or where ever. Doesn't sound like you want to keep your job either. You could always walk to work, or bike, or take a bus or take a cab. Quit blaming others for your own mistakes. Keep your job, learn to drive, and stop being dependent on others. Show some respect for them and yourself.
2006-09-09 07:54:44 · answer #10 · answered by Keenu 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋