What would you do if you were my dad?

Question

There's this guy that I've been talking to and am about to date, he's way older than me. He's 42, divorced and I'm 19. Some of you may wonder what the hell am I doing with this guy and if we have anything in common, and no I'm not interested in his money. I just don't know why but I'm really crazy about him I've never felt like this about anyone in my entire life. The thing is I'm just worried about how my dad is gonna react when he finds out. I'm afraid he's gonna freak out like my friends did.

How would you react if you were my dad? Do you think I'm crazy for liking this guy?

Answer 1

Maybe you can set your dad up with his daughter !!!!!!!!!! How would you like that ???????

Answer 2

Sorry Coco but if I was your dad I would be extremely upset and would sit down with you and discuss that this is a pretty big age gap for a girl your age. The fact that you both grew up in different generations is going to be difficult enough, but that you don't have similiar tastes and friends will make for a very trying relationship. I would not disallow you to see this male as you are of age etc., but would certainly make sure that you were aware of all the pitfalls also. After all when he is ready to retire in 23 years as he will be 65 years old, then you'll only be 42 with a lot of working life ahead of you. As well your so young that you probably want to be a parent to your own child someday and I'm pretty sure that a man of his age will not have the same dreams as you on this issue either. Think long and hard before you make any final decisions.

Answer 3

Hmmm...well at first glance I would say he IS much too old for you, but you're an adult now and time to make adult decisions on your own. There is no way your dad is going to like this (I wouldn't as a mama) Why? Because most men that age are only reliving their own youth by dating a woman young enough to be their daughter...but don't expect it to be a lasting relationship..just telling it like it is. (or probably is)...and even if HE is on the up and up?...YOU better be thinking about this long term if you are that "crazy about him." Let's say he is on the up and up and loves you more than just the fact you are so much younger and arm candy for him...Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Let's say it all works out and he marries you. Are you prepared for the fact that 20 yrs from now (when you will still be a relatively young woman and STILL younger than he is right now..lol) that he will be well into his senior years....Could be having serious health problems by then..or worse. You'll be 39 and he'll be 62. Ready for retirement or already retired. Not you though...unless you are going to spend the rest of his life (and your prime years) taking care of HIM. Guess love can conquer all...but I'd really think this one out if you are looking for more than a fun passing fancy with an older man. Lots to consider here. Get married? Have children? When they are in high-school or college playing sports...he'll be as old as the other kids grandparents..maybe older. Think past today if you are serious -and consider...and consider that he might just be having a passing fancy himself. Hang onto your heart and consider all first. Your dad?...he'll consider all of this in 30 seconds flat...you can't expect your father to be down with this...wouldn't be fair of you to expect him to. Ultimately? Doesn't matter. Only what you and he think matters...and if it's just dating..for fun? Then that's fine..who cares if you both consent to that and enjoy - but any thoughts of going long term and more serious with this guy (if he is too)...then...be very careful..think of your future..that's what matters most. Good luck hon.

Answer 4

If I were your dad I would totally freak out, he is your dad's age and that's going to make it totally ackward and your dad is going to see this man as a child molester and probably try to kick his *** or worse. Remember daddy's are all about protecting their little girls and that's exactly what he is going to be inclined to do unless you have a really open minded dad.

Honestly I think that he is a bit too old for you and that you should seek out someone closer to your own age but at age 19, you already know what you are going to do, just be careful. There has to be some sick reason that a 42 year old man wants to be with a girl young enough to be his daughter....think about it. It's against the law to molest his own child, so he will molest someone else's, he just happen to wait until you were old enough not to be jail bait.
Good luck kiddo.

Answer 5

Well, I consider myself to be very liberal minded. I am 53 and my daughter will be 19 this december. However, I am sure I would freak out! LOL Sorry, but it is true. I might get over it tho. The guy that said you are an adult and free to make your own decisions is right, of course. So, I would try to freak out quietly and hope I would calm down eventually if the relationship lasted. I have always said a 25 year age difference spread is not insurmountable. So, good luck, I guess...

Answer 6

There is way too much age span between you. Your dad should be concerned. I would be if it were my daughter, because why on earth would a 42 yr old guy be interested in a 19 yr old girl? It's just creepy. And, I would wager that after a while you would get extremely bored with him because your interests would be so far apart. Look for a guy closer to your own age.

Answer 7

You are horny, and stupid (sorry) Do you think this older guy really likes you? I will tell you straight, forget him, because I can tell you all this old fu#k wants is in your pants. There is nothing a 42 yr old has in common with a 19 yr old except wanting to have a hot little nookie to play with. After he's balled you a few times you'll be say you love him and he'll be gone. He wants poontang!
I'm not as old as he is and I'd love a young girl, perferably at least 21, for a sex buddy. That's all he wants.
Run don't walk away from this one.

Answer 8

Do you have a good relationship with your dad? Are you attracted to this 42 yr old man because he offers you the attention your father did or does not. Does he seem to understand you better than your father.

Think about what really attracts you to this man and be sure you are not simply trying to slide a substitute father figure that may be a little more positive than the one you have with your dad.

If your relationship with your dad is great --- sit down, talk to him, let him know why you enjoy this man's company and maybe he will not spin out into ranting and raving.

Answer 9

I don't know about your dad but my dad, @#$
See my parents are divorced and dad would blame my mother and say ," Look what you did to her" when he got over screaming at my mother, then he turns on me.
"What the hell are you thinking girl" "Are you completely out of your mind" "You tell the SOB {but he would say it.} You come near my daughter and I'll break every bone in your body, you got that sleaze ball." That is what he told this guy snake he was covered in tattoos. He said, "next time you come around here your going to be pushing up Daisy's."
In Texas a good defense is he deserve killing.
Never seen the guy again. So yes, that's what my dad would do.
Oh, God I just had this thought my dad's not that old! Ugh!

Answer 10

You know your father's going to be livid & you know without anyones opinion just why he will be! I'm sure that all your life he has done his best to protect and care for you as a young girl, and to prepare you to grow into a responsible woman. And baby girl 19 is still a child to a man who is in his fourties. Your father knows this best of all. Let me ask you this What would you think about your dad if he decided to date a 19 yr old girl? Would you think( no big deal they have so many thing in common) or What about the sexual part of that, What would your opinon be of him then? Would you think and feel that he was a pervert, and mulipuitive and using the girl for his own perversion and truely robbing the girl of an inniocense that a man of that age should be schooling, not drooling over? Or maybe you would be supportive and respect that It's LOVE, and hey it's their choice... right?
As one woman To another... Please Don't take this relationship any farther than it's already gone. Back off of it, and start doing other things with yourself and time. I'm 29 as of this yr, and it wasn't that long ago that I was 19 and involved in older men relationships, that I honestly felt as thou I was being smart and mature in..I knew what I was getting involved in, I thought at the time>>>> but as time passed and relationships and people changed in my life I changed my feelings on what I viewed as love and maturity changed also. Looking back on these men that I loved and loved me, I can see where they took a piece of my innocense that in a big way now wasn't right. Older men know just how to purswade and control and sweeten the deal just enough to get you to see things in another light. And the truth of the matter is this, YES you are wonderful and desireable and deserve the good things in life,( nice cars, vacations, nice dinners, flowers, nice clothes to wear, jewelry....) all the things that over the corse of his 40 yrs he's learned to give a woman to intise her affections. And to him you are full of life and he enjoys that, and wants to see you excieted to be cared for, BUT and This IS A big BUT... remember these things don't show you the man inside, There's a reason that his wife left him, there's a reason why he doesn't respect the line that should be drawn between himself and and 19yr old young woman.Why is he crossing the line with you? why isn't he pursuing a woman of his own age or closer to? And how do you know that he's being honest about his life (his Real life) with you? Your Dad will see through this guy like an X-ray. I'll bet this guy won't even want to met your dad on the real. Keep your wits, and see this for what it really is... BE Woman enough, mature enough, to realize that this relationship with you is probably based on sexual desires from him to you, and that's #1 on his list of things to do. Do you really want to spend you time with viagra and lube in tune when your with your man? i say no your 19 enjoy your youth.

Good Luck, use your brain and think before
you leap.

Answer 11

I would freak out to. You need to find someone that is in your age range. Give me an example of a couple that ranged that much in age that ever worked out. Also I just want you to know so you don't get your little feelers hurt down the road that he is just using you to get sex or continue getting sex. after all I don't know many men that would want a presumeably young, hot, tight female body.. Just move on so you don't hurt your dad, and make youself look like a total *** in the end. Holler if you need any more advice. Good luck