My new boyfriend and I have been together for about a month. I really like him and we are very happy together, but sometimes I'm scared to hurt or dissapoint him in some way. He is an extremely GOOD guy and I feel I'm not as good, patient, understandive and peaceful as he is... I'm nice but pretty explosive and I really don't wanna mess this up! What should I do about it?
2006-09-09 07:03:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have been in that situation. Just hang in there, and talk to him! That's the biggest thing. I don't mean right now...but over time, let him know that sometimes, you're cranky...and that when you are, it isn't his fault and you don't want him to ever feel like you're upset with him, when you're just upset. Take it slow and get to know each other. I'm sure he doesn't expect you to be just like he is. It's only been a month, so you're just getting to know each other. It can't hurt to tell him exactly what you just said...that you know you're personality isn't quite as laid back as his, and you're worried that if you do sort of explode...he'll take it personally or be hurt. This will at least set up the scenario so if it does happen, he'll remember you saying it.
Let him know too...that if you come home cranky, sometimes you just need to be left alone for a little while...that it's nothing against him and it's not his fault, but the best way for him to help you feel better, is to give you some alone time to regroup...(or whatever it is that you DO need when you're in a bad mood).
Secondly, try to control those explosive urges. I don't know if you mean that you can be explosive in general, or if you think you may be explosive toward him. Like I said, TELL him about that when you're both in a conversational mood, but you also have to take control of your own emotions. Don't let that explosiveness control you...you control it. Good luck! Take it slow and you'll find out that neither of you are completely flawless. We're all human.
BTW, I am still in that relationship and he's still a prince, and it's been 10 months.
2006-09-09 07:07:28 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Awww, that's so sweet. A GOOD guy is so hard to find. If he accepts you for who you are, that is great. I tend to be explosive , too, it is just a personality trait, BUT you can learn to tone it down a bit.
This guy might is probably really good for you. Opposites attract, that is for a reason. If you were calm and low-key, he probably wouldn't have any interest in you. It is likely he enjoys being with you because you have "spark".
Talk to him, though, and let him know how you feel. Tell him that you know you can be abrasive, and that if he feels you are being difficult to handle, he can let you know (but be sure you are prepared to listen if he does).
Be happy. Happy is good! Don't put him on a pedestal, he is probably insecure about some things, too. Don't buy into the "I don't deserve good things" lie. Didn't someone already say this:
"Don't Worry...Be Happy"? Oh, the eternally wise Bobby McFerrin.
2006-09-09 14:17:32 · answer #2 · answered by sendmedaisies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh girl, honestly give it all you got to see the area's in which you would like to improve upon. Give it all you got, but to be real anytime I've ever felt like that The relationship didn't last for to long because i felt eventually that the guy was to wimpy and that he couldn't handle me even if he tried. I personally need a man that my personality doesn't over power. Even if he's SO dame sweet and kind, I just can't stand to be the crazy' est one in the relationship. Besides they always end up thinking you are a nut when you stand up for yourself or speak your mind ya know where I'm going with this?! If you have to put on an act to impress him then in the end you'll be very bored and unhappy.
2006-09-09 14:18:08 · answer #3 · answered by you_wahoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,just keep it up and soon he'll start to
believe it to!!!
If you have an anger problem,you need to get
help with that first before getting into any kind
of relationship,and especially if it's with a good
guy because he won't deserve your bad attitude
or meanness,save it for a control freak so you
can do it to one another,not a good man!!!
Just keep feeling like you do and keep being
mean and explosive and the good man will get
himself out of it!
2006-09-09 14:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by slappingfox 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stay in this relationship!!! If you are as bad as you say you are & he doesn't complain, then you shouldn't. I feel the same way about my man & try not to offend him as much as I can. Your fear of hurting him may actually end up making you hurt him. I think he likes you the way you are.
2006-09-09 14:11:48 · answer #5 · answered by prettyinpink 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there too... try to control your temper and talk to the guy every time you feel the need to.
2006-09-09 14:10:12 · answer #6 · answered by *LuNa* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know i have the same problem i guess do what your and if you something goes wrong you can always be friends
2006-09-09 14:10:08 · answer #7 · answered by Taylor H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋