teaching a child to beg & expect gifts..?

Question

i was in a huge argument with my girlfriend who has a 4 year old daughter & she basicly teaches her (by way of not discouraging it and actually promoting it ) to beg people for things, from jewelry that you're wearing to buying things at the store, you literally can't walk into their house without the little girl running up to you and asking "did you bring me something?" Then she stands there like "yeah, did you bring her something?" she makes her feel like everyone in the world owes her something and I think it's setting her up for a rough life but my friend thinks it's "cute" and that it will teach her to be a go getter what do you think

Answer 1

I would end the relationship with that g/f. she is teaching her children HORRIBLE values, and if you ever have any yourself, they'll infect your household. Your g/f is obviously dense, stubborn, amoral, warped, and completely misguided.

If you continue this relationship, then you need to turn the tables quick. When she asks if you brought her anything, just tell her, "no, I did not. Is it your birthday?" If it ticks your g/f off, then so be it. Let her know that you will not be emotionally blackmailed into helping her raise a spoiled little brat that believes the world revolves around her.

Where this is headed:

Fast forward 10 years.
She is a cute little 14 year old. She knows that people, and especially boys will do things for her and bring her stuff if she is nice to them. Then she discovers that if you are REALLY nice to the boys, that she can get better stuff.

Congratulate your g/f on planting the seeds for her daughter to become a prostitute.

Answer 2

My best friend of 20plus yrs has made the same mistake with my god daughter. It has gone on since she was a little girl and back then it was cute...for awhile. She is 11 now and I no longer go to see them as often as I used to. The child is spoiled rotten, extremely overweight, very immature,acts up at dental and doctor apts., uses people,expects the world to revolve around her, won't take no for and answer, puts people on the spot to get her way, lies and manipulates, ruins visits with company, is rude to grown ups, can't relate to other children, etc. etc. My friend has a 1yr old son now and I have missed visiting with him because I couldn't stand watching the girl be hateful to him and jealous over any attention that he gets. I tried talking to my friend and others have to. She had a rough childhood so our advice has fallen on deaf ears. She thinks we are accusing her of being a bad mother. So everyone stays away unless the girl is visiting her father. Can only imagine what she will be like in her teens and when she gets older and someone says no to her. My friend has created a monster and god help her when and if the boy turns out that way too.

Answer 3

Your friend sounds like a real ignorant mother.Its too bad because the only thing that will actually happen is that the child will be very annoying,disliked. She is now. The way to teach her to be a go getter would be to actually teach her the opposite. Anyway,the way I have dealt with children like this is to take them aside and gently tell them that(and by the way,they wont get it the first,second or maybe third time) that you personally do not approve of children asking adults for things,money so on.From now on you cannot give to her ever when she asks.Stick to your story, do not speak to the mother,just quietly to the child.tell her each time gently but convincingly,and when you do have something for her,offer it in your own time,not hers.I cannot deal with annoying children,(or parents) but I can outsmart them,if that's what its called. And I think they both get food for thought.

Answer 4

i think the kid is gonna grow up a brat/snob, asking people to bring her stuff and expecting it form everybody. I mean its your girlfriend's kid, right, but still, you should take place of the father and parent, you can teach the girl and mold her into a better person too. Tell her that not everybody has to give her presents all the time, or something. Or say "no, not today, how about wait for your birthday, then I"ll have a surprise for you". teach her kindly and change the way she thinks gradually, this shouldn't offend your girlfriend unless you go outright and tell her she's raising her daughter all wrong.

Answer 5

You are right. My daughter begs for stuff and I tell her that if I was going to say yes, I would have said it the first time she asked, not the 523rd time. And a child does have to learn that people are not going to be bearing gifts for her each time they see her. Unfortunately the mother is encouraging this behavior and you as a friend cannot do much about it but advise her. Beyond that, she is the mom and she is entitled to tell you butt out. sad but true.
So, this child will grow up to be spoiled and will have grand expectations in her adult relationships. If she's lucky she will meet someone who can afford to put up with that. If she is blessed she will meet someone who will teach her that it isn't all about material things.

Answer 6

Unfortunately it is the child who is going to suffer in the long run. If your friend is not mature enough to know she is creating a monster maybe it is time to find a new friend. If you still want to stay friends and you know the daughter is going to act like this, the next time you go over there tell her yes you brought something, and give her a handshake or a hug. Maybe she needs some attention that is not material.

Answer 7

that poor child is going to have a hard time in life. She will find out the hard way that you have to work to get things for yourself. You can't expect others to give it to you all of the time. That mother (if you can call her that) should be ashamed. She is not teaching her daughter anything appropriate.

Answer 8

Your friend is teaching her child to be one big loser. If people give her things now I'm afraid that she will bring that into adulthood and work less figuring that people will just give "it" to her. As we all know you don't get anything for free in life. Everything has a cost, not necessarily money.

Answer 9

What the heck? No, that's not good at all. You're supposed to teach your child common curtosy, not to beg and be cute like some kind of trained animal.

Answer 10

WOW!! I feel way bad for the child your friend should teach her self control. All it's doing now is gonna ruin the childs future she is going to grow up just expecting things from people and do nothing herself. that's way sad!!!