Between the ages of 13 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.
Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.
Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
After 56 she is like Australia, everybody knows it's down there, but who gives a damn?
2006-09-09 05:43:04 · 5 answers · asked by ? 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Make women happy - Demerit Point System explained
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed ....................+1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1
* You leave the toilet seat up.............-5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
* in the snow...............+8
* but return with beer..........-5
* and no liners....................-25
* You check out a suspicious noise at night....... 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
* You pummel it with a six iron...........+10
* It's her cat.........................-40
HER BIRTHDAY
* You take her out to dinner................ 0
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
* Okay, it is a sports bar..........-2
* And it's all-you-can-eat night....-3
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team......-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
* Go with a pal.........................+5
* The pal is happily married............+4
* Or frighteningly single...............-7
* And he drives a Ferrari...............-10
* With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
* You take her to a movie...............+2
* You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
* You take her to a movie you hate......+6
* You take her to a movie you like......-2
* It's called Death Cop 3...............-3
* Which features Cyborgs that eat humans....-9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable pot belly.............-15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...............................+10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.......-30
* You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."......-800
THE BIG QUESTION (a no win question)
* She asks, "Do I look fat?"
* You hesitate in responding.....-10
* You reply, "Where?"............-35
* Any other response.............-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
* You listen, displaying a concerned _expression...... 0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes....................+5
* You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV..................................+100
* She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep....-200
2006-09-09 05:46:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Timmy, you and I are going to have a talk. You see, women don't even begin to hit their peak until they pass 40. Men, on the other hand, hits theirs at about 18. So, at 40+, they are only ready for a recliner. That's why they need those little blue pills.
2006-09-09 08:29:26 · answer #2 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Heard this one a lot of times, but still it brings a smile :-)
2006-09-09 05:54:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess if we were to HONESTLY compare men we would to have say that "WITH TIME, STILL HAVE THE PARTS, BUT FOR SHOW ONLY!"
2006-09-09 06:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My days getting better and better. Just keep me laughing Tommy. Thanks again for the laugh.
2006-09-09 07:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by irish_yankee51 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋