can anyone plz suggest a long english narrative preferably funny poem for recitation competition?

Question

i need an english poem , for a recitation competition, high school level. it should preferably be funny, though other good ones would also do.plz, specify the name of the poet also , if possible.it should be of at least three minutes when recited.Help Me plzzzzzz!

Answer 1

Three minutes is a long time, but this might come close. This is a great poem by Lawrence Ferlinghetti and it certainly fills the humorous component.
My guess is that lots of people will pick Jabberwocky or Lewis Carroll.

UNDER WEAR

I didn’t get much sleep last night
thinking about underwear
Have you ever stopped to consider
underwear in the abstract
When you really dig into it
some shocking problems are raised
Underwear is something we all have to deal with
Everyone wears
some kind of underwear
Even Indians wear underwear
Even Cubans
wear underwear
The Pope wears underwear I hope
The Governor of Louisiana wears underwear
I saw him on TV
He must have had tight underwear
He squirmed a lot
Underwear can really get you in a bind
You have seen the underwear ads for men and women
so alike but so different
Women’s underwear holds things up
Men’s underwear holds things down
Underwear is one thing
men and women do have in common
Underwear is all we have between us
You have seen the three-color pictures
with crotches encircled
to show the areas of extra strength
with three-way stretch
promising full freedom of action
Don’t be deceived
It’s all based on the two-party system
which doesn’t allow much freedom of choice
the way things are set up
America in its Underwear
struggles thru the night
Underwear controls everything in the end
Take foundation garments for instance
They are really fascist forms
of underground government
making people believe
something but the truth
telling you what you can of can’t do
Did you ever try to get around a girdle
Perhaps Non-Violent Action
is the only answer
Did Gandhi wear a girdle?
Did Lady Macbeth wear a girdle?
Was that why Macbeth murdered sleep?

And the spot she was always rubbing -
Was it really her underwear?
Modern anglosaxon ladies
must have huge guilt complexes
always washing and washing and washing
Out damned spot
Underwear with spots very suspicious
Underwear with bulges very shocking
Underwear on clothesline a great flag of freedom
Someone has escaped his Underwear
May be naked somewhere
Help!
But don’t worry
Everybody’s still hung up in it
There won’t be no real revolution
And poetry still the underwear of the soul
And underwear still covering
a multitude of faults

in the geological sense -
strange sedimentary stones, inscrutable cracks!
If I were you I’d keep aside
an oversize pair of winter underwear
Do not go naked into that good night
And in the meantime
keep calm and warm and dry
No use stirring ourselves up prematurely
‘over Nothing’
Move forward with dignity
hand in vest
Don’t get emotional
And death shall have no dominion
There’s plenty of time my darling
Are we not still young and easy?
Don’t shout.

Answer 2

Funny Narrative Poems

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
can anyone plz suggest a long english narrative preferably funny poem for recitation competition?
i need an english poem , for a recitation competition, high school level. it should preferably be funny, though other good ones would also do.plz, specify the name of the poet also , if possible.it should be of at least three minutes when recited.Help Me plzzzzzz!

Answer 4

Read the original from the link below. I just noticed that one word was **** out, but it is not really a bad word. Break a leg!

James Whitcomb Riley. 1853–1916

"When the Frost is on the Punkin"

WHEN the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock,
And you hear the kyouck and gobble of the struttin' turkey-cock,
And the clackin' of the guineys, and the cluckin' of the hens,
And the rooster's hallylooyer as he tiptoes on the fence;
O, it's then the time a feller is a-feelin' at his best,
With the risin' sun to greet him from a night of peaceful rest,
As he leaves the house, bareheaded, and goes out to feed the stock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

They's something kindo' harty-like about the atmusfere
When the heat of summer's over and the coolin' fall is here—
Of course we miss the flowers, and the blossoms on the trees,
And the mumble of the hummin'-birds and buzzin' of the bees;
But the air's so appetizin'; and the landscape through the haze
Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days
Is a pictur' that no painter has the colorin' to mock—
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

The husky, rusty russel of the tossels of the corn,
And the raspin' of the tangled leaves as golden as the morn;
The stubble in the furries—kindo' lonesome-like, but still
A-preachin' sermuns to us of the barns they growed to fill;
The strawstack in the medder, and the reaper in the shed;
The hosses in theyr stalls below—the clover overhead!—
O, it sets my hart a-clickin' like the tickin' of a clock,
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

Then your apples all is gethered, and the ones a feller keeps
Is poured around the cellar-floor in red and yaller heaps;
And your cider-makin's over, and your wimmern-folks is through
With theyr mince and apple-butter, and theyr souse and sausage too!...
I don't know how to tell it—but ef such a thing could be
As the angels wantin' boardin', and they'd call around on me—
I'd want to 'commodate 'em—all the whole-indurin' flock—
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder's in the shock.

Answer 5

Twas the night after Katrina!!!

When down on Canal St. the looters dey came
The po-lice had seen dem and called dem by name
STOP! Melvin, Shaneekwa, Chantel and Joe Brown
Leroy and Rickita, put dem shoes down.

Da baskets dey loaded as fast as dey could
While big screens was rollin on back to da hood
Shoes, electronics, fur coats and rings.
All de essential survival things.

From de east and de west da levees seperated
An da peoples had wished dey evacuated.
Da water poured in like Dixie beer foam
And da hood emptied in to da Superdome.

Dey crapped an dey pillaged an da Dome went to hell
It'll take 10 years to get rid of da smell.
But it's not like cleaning da dome affects us
Since dem Saints is gone to San Antonio, Texas.

Soon after Arron Broussard clearly started to drink
An Kathleen Blanco needed her time to think,
Da forces finally came to help out da cops
Wit dere M-16's up on da roof tops.

Dey were poppin da ganstas like da hooka's pop gum
An tossin dem into the river like chum.
St. Gabriel was not dere eternal slumber.
An dey never made da body count number.

No longer to walk among civilization,
Dey now a part of coastal restoration.
So When ya open up oysters, instead of pearls
You'll find little gold teeth and black Geri curls.

An da ones dat was bussed to other states
An places where da Red Cross facilitates
Are waitin around for dere FEMA checks
An demandin everything else dey expects.

You can call em moochas. You can call em no good.
But dey ain't comin back to your neighborhood.
To all you evacuees and your plight
Hope you like TEXAS...

An to all a good night.

Answer 6

Long Humorous Poems

Answer 7

If we didn't have to eat :
life would be an easy matter
If we didn't have to eat.
If we never had to utter ,
"won't you pass the bread and butter ,
likewise push along that platter full of meat ?"
Yes ,if food was absolete life would be a jolly treat ,
If we didn't -shine or shower ,
old or young ,about every hour -
Have to eat,eat ,eat ,eat -
It would be jolly if we didn't have to eat .

We could save a lot of money
If we didn't have to eat.
Could we cease our busy buying ,
Baking ,broiling ,brewing ,frying ,
Life would then be oh,so sunny
and complete ;
And we wouldn't fear to greet
Every grocer in the street
If we didn't-man and woman,
Every hungry,helpless human -
Have to eat ,eat, eat, eat, eat, -
We'd save money if we didn't have to eat .
All our worry would be over
If we didn't have to eat.
Would the butcher ,baker,grocer ,
get our hard-earned dollars ? No sir ,
We would then be right in clover
cool and sweet .
Want and hunger we could cheat ,
And we'd get there with both feet,
If we didn't -poor or wealthy ,
Halt or nimble ,sick or healthy -
Have to eat ,eat , eat, eat, eat,
We could get there if we didn't have to eat .

The one who wrote this poem is called : Nixon Waterman ,He is not a well known poet but it was a good try anyway .
Good luck .

Answer 8

Twas the night after Katrina!!!

When down on Canal St. the looters dey came
The po-lice had seen dem and called dem by name
STOP! Melvin, Shaneekwa, Chantel and Joe Brown
Leroy and Rickita, put dem shoes down.

Da baskets dey loaded as fast as dey could
While big screens was rollin on back to da hood
Shoes, electronics, fur coats and rings.
All de essential survival things.

From de east and de west da levees seperated
An da peoples had wished dey evacuated.
Da water poured in like Dixie beer foam
And da hood emptied in to da Superdome.

Dey crapped an dey pillaged an da Dome went to hell
It'll take 10 years to get rid of da smell.
But it's not like cleaning da dome affects us
Since dem Saints is gone to San Antonio, Texas.

Soon after Arron Broussard clearly started to drink
An Kathleen Blanco needed her time to think,
Da forces finally came to help out da cops
Wit dere M-16's up on da roof tops.

Dey were poppin da ganstas like da hooka's pop gum
An tossin dem into the river like chum.
St. Gabriel was not dere eternal slumber.
An dey never made da body count number.

No longer to walk among civilization,
Dey now a part of coastal restoration.
So When ya open up oysters, instead of pearls
You'll find little gold teeth and black Geri curls.

An da ones dat was bussed to other states
An places where da Red Cross facilitates
Are waitin around for dere FEMA checks
An demandin everything else dey expects.

You can call em moochas. You can call em no good.
But dey ain't comin back to your neighborhood.
To all you evacuees and your plight
Hope you like TEXAS...

An to all a good night.

Answer 9

1

Answer 10

Prologue to "Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, 1343-1400

Sumer is i-comen in.
Groweth seed and bloweth meed
And springth the wude nu.
Sing cuccu!

Western wind, when wilt thou blow,
The small rain down can rain?
Christ, if my love were in my arms,
And I in my bed again!

When the nightingale singes
The wodes waxen grene,
Leaf and gras and blossom springes
In Averil, I wene,
And love is to min herte gon
With a spere so keen.

That it was May thus dremed me
In time of love and jollite
That al thyng gynneth waxen gay
For there is neither busk nor hay
In May that it nyl shrouded ben,
And it with new leves wryen. cover
These greves eke recoveren grene,
That dry in wynter ben to sen,
And the erthe waxeth proude withal
For swete dewes that on it falle . . .

To make noyse and syngen blythe
Than is blisful many sithe
The chelandre and popinjay
Then yonge folk entended ay
For to ben gay and amorous

And Zephirus and Flora gentilly
Yaf to the floures, softe and ternderly,
Her sweete breeth, and mad hem for to sprede
As god and goddess through the floury mede.

the joly time of May
When that I heard the small foules synge
And that the floures gynne for to springe,
Fareweel my stodies, as lastyng that sesoun.

As I me rode this ender day,
By grene wod to seke play,
Mid herte I thought al on a may,
Sweteste of alle thyng.
Lithe and ich yow telle may
All of that swete thyng.