He really is a good father and i still love him. He has asked for another chance. Should I go back to him?
2006-09-09 04:01:24 · 27 answers · asked by mlf4204 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you were just seperated, then go back
2006-09-09 04:02:48 · answer #1 · answered by ĵōē¥ → đ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds harsh, but if you're asking this question, then no. You sound hesitant. He has obviously hurt you in the past. Yeah people can change, but just because he claimed he got treatment doesn't mean he won't become abusive once you're stuck being with him again. That's how abusive people control you, they beat you up so that you're scared to ever leave cause you know he'll beat you up some more. That's the kind of power they crave for. If he's a good father, allow him to see his kids, but you shouln't go back to him unless you're ready to be in another abusive relationship.
2006-09-09 11:10:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no, b/c he can do it again. Tell him you'rereally happy for him and that you and the kids are in his life still, but you need to get on w/ yours. If he did it once he can do it again, even if he did get help.It's a vicious cycle. He may be agood father to the kids, and that's fine, let him see the kids. But as far as your relationship goes, leave it as parents and nothing else. I really hate to be the bearer of bad news, but once a person is physically abusive, they always will be. there will be times and it can last for awhile where everything is good, and then something happens and they're abusining you again. You did you and your children a favor four years ago, keep doing that and you'll be just fine
2006-09-09 11:10:14 · answer #3 · answered by lonely_dove04 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not on your tintype until he proves he has changed. Go VERY slowly with this one. It take a GREAT deal of work, effort and motivation for an abuser to change. Compare the way he acts now to the way he acted when he first seduced you inot being his abused partner. Any change? Any significant change?
PS. He CANNOT be a "good father" and be an abuser too. Those things are mutually exclusive. Impossible. Never happen. Make him prove he's done abusing.
2006-09-09 11:24:22 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left him for a good reason and I'm sure you have gotten on with your life and it is much better now,,,,I believe he will go back to his old self in time once he has his feet planted in your home again. Listen to your instincts, what is it telling you??. If you have finally found peace in your life don't give it up for anyone, he can be a great father from a distance, many are. You need to be happy first in order to keep your kids happy and feeling secure. You will always love him but are you in-love with him???. Follow your heart.
2006-09-09 11:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by Gabriele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you left him 4 years ago, did you ever leave him? I would say not to go back to him. Some people change, but most don't, and if they do, it's only for a while. But if you do go back, if he hurts you again, don't think of ever going back. You say he's a good father, so I'm sure he can still see your kids, but be careful with yourself.
2006-09-09 11:07:48 · answer #6 · answered by leo_7_28 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When did he ask? Yesterday? Last week? Make him wait a bit to see if his old true colors show up within the next couple months. If he is sincere he will wait, if not then he will eventually go off on you then you can walk off into the sunset leaving him standing there like the complete idiot he still might be.
Boy, I've been around and have seen it all. I've never been physically abused tho so I must be doing something right.
Linda
2006-09-09 11:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by Linda 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What if starts again, he'll say he's sorry, you'll forgive him and then he beats you again.
Oh, I know why are you putting up with this, you love him right, and I'm sure he loves you too, that's why he hurts you.
How can or why would you love someone that beats you. What is this doing to your kids, Do you want them to have memories of their father beating their mother. If you have a son he'll grow up believing that's it OK to hit your wife and if you have a daughter, she'll grow up believing it's OK for your husband to beat you.
Do you want that? Think about it, Love means NOT hurting the woman you're supposed to love and protect.
Get away from this guy. He'll just hurt you again. Think about the mental and physical wefare of your children and yourself.
Good Luck. Someone out there will love you and take care of you and your kids.
2006-09-09 11:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how much you believe he has changed. I believe that everyone and every relationship deserves a second chance. People can change. With him being the father of your children, you will probably always wonder what could have been if you don't try. At the first signs of abuse, run, sweetie.
2006-09-09 11:05:41 · answer #9 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not recommend getting back with him. Once a person abuses another-it never stops. It may "pause" for a little while, but eventually the abuse will begin again. Another thing to think about...what if he starts to abuse the kids?? Don't do something regretful.
2006-09-09 11:05:44 · answer #10 · answered by redfish 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
ABSOUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There are better men out there, men like that are like pedophiles - they DON'T change!
They can't be rehabilitated!!!
He may be the Father of your children, but what matters more?
That your children are with their Father and they witness the abuse or that your children are not with their Father and they have a more loving home...
??
2006-09-09 11:11:37 · answer #11 · answered by Sixth_Sense 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋